Water-Lily
Enlightened
- Dec 26, 2020
- 1,193
I have an extensive trauma history. Experiences so severe I don't even want to deal/face things in therapy
I also feel I owe people a revelation into my trauma story but that's a different conversation
Point being is that I see everyone around me who is in healthy relationships as being "better" than
Becuase they are able to be emotionally healthy enough to connect with someone and be vulnerable in a healthy way to accept and receive love
They probably either don't have a severe trauma history they have to heal from, or had severe trauma but put in the work
I'm tired of putting in the work. And as I am, no one would want to get involved with a suicidal waste of depression
And if I don't plan to work on myself, I can count myself out of "love" for damn near the rest of my life
Maybe if I kill myself now I can spare myself suffering a miserable life that won't get better
I also feel I owe people a revelation into my trauma story but that's a different conversation
Point being is that I see everyone around me who is in healthy relationships as being "better" than
Becuase they are able to be emotionally healthy enough to connect with someone and be vulnerable in a healthy way to accept and receive love
They probably either don't have a severe trauma history they have to heal from, or had severe trauma but put in the work
I'm tired of putting in the work. And as I am, no one would want to get involved with a suicidal waste of depression
And if I don't plan to work on myself, I can count myself out of "love" for damn near the rest of my life
Maybe if I kill myself now I can spare myself suffering a miserable life that won't get better