For my entire life everyone around me has been obnoxious and not understanding me. I am an alien who does not fit in anywhere. People only get annoyed and frustrated when I am upset, so I pretend that I am normal which is partially successful. No one is interested in me, no one cares about me, no one wants to help me. People just live in their own bubbles and do not have time for other people. None of the things I would want to do, be or experience exist in this world. I am just a plaything at the mercy of the people around me. I am confident that this will never change.
I guess I get it. I've felt that same disconnection, like no one is really interested in who I am or how I see the world. It's not just being alone... it's feeling invisible or alien or some kind of a ghost.
And yeah, it makes everything feel kind of pointless after a while.
You try to act the way people expect, just to avoid more rejection, but it's not really you, and deep down you know it.
And when you try to be real, to be sincere and genuine and show your inner self, your problems and vulnerabilities, show real feelings like frustration, sadness, confusion... people just shut down or get annoyed, like your feelings are a problem and they don't want to deal with that...
People are just stuck in their own heads, chasing whatever they think will make their life work: status, comfort, routine.
Most don't really look outside themselves (nor inside themselves really).
Real empathy, where someone actually tries to understand what it's like to be you is so extremely rare.
And even those who do have empathy sometimes just don't know how to offer it.
Sorry for a long rant in your thread. I'm just feeling sorry that someone else is also going through something similar.
I can relate to never feeling understood. It is very hard to live in a society and just allow everyone to be completely wrong about you. It is human to want to be seen and known for who you really are.
