Nobody trying to save you

[ctbusser]

So I find it awful that no-one here tries to stop someone on their attemp and only cheer up. Looks like sect and cult of death or smth. I will probably get banned for posts like that. I think you should have a few step verification before you make a goodbye post, like why you want to do it? Did you try everything to make your life better? Are you sure it will be better on the other side? I'm just so concerned about a young guy that ctbd today bc of not terminal reasons and I got hated for doubting his decision. Admins should really think about trying to help people before they decide to do their last step. Only if they care of course.

 

[libby]

Totally agree

 

[Reflection]

Maybe people here are more supportive to the idea of suicide but that's about all I see, no one (from what I've seen) is actively cheering up anyone and telling them to do it, and given that we are all in the same boat I think it would be somewhat useless to try and stop anyone who made up their mind unless they are obviously not really sure about their decision or don't know what they're doing... I think the real cruelty comes from the societies and people we know irl that had a hand in making us feel this way.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

So I find it awful that no-one here tries to stop someone on their attemp and only cheer up. Looks like sect and cult of death or smth. I will probably get banned for posts like that. I think you should have a few step verification before you make a goodbye post, like why you want to do it? Did you try everything to make your life better? Are you sure it will be better on the other side?

why would you care if i as a stranger decide to leave this hell now ? I'm going to die anyway later no matter what every human will. I will just be avoiding a lot of suffering. why would you want me to suffer and work chores etc ?

it should be anyone's choice whether they want to die now or die later anyway. no one should tell others what to do .

no one can convince me why i have to live or do anything at all . nothing matters.

in 130 years every single one of the 8 billion humans alive now will be dead. that is one of the most fundamental truths of all every human will die no matter what

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Found a pro-lifer!

 

[ctbusser]

Guys I'm just sure thar 90%+- of people's problems here are solvable and we all deserve and can live happy lives. You just can't ctb without 100% sure that it's the only way(talking about terminal ill all in pain people)

Found a pro-lifer!

Everybody can find a reason to live. Take Nick Vujchich as an exaple

 

[heliophobic]

I disagree. I actually deactivated my account once after I failed to save a girl. I don't consider myself to be "pro-life" and anyone who calls me that can bite me. Everyone has the right to do what they want to do. But I'm a natural debater that can argue both sides and can show someone a side to stay that they may not have thought of. I'm a suicidal person myself so I would be a hypocrite if I told everybody that suicide is wrong, but I also want to hear everyone out and listen to their reasons for why they want to ctb. Sometimes if a person is really young, making a rash decision about something that is FINAL isn't the best decision.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

The fact that there is very little convince talk, especially on this side of SaSu, is what makes this site unique and is why we're all here. We're beyond help. This world is beyond help.

 

[divinemistress36]

Guys I'm just sure thar 90%+- of people's problems here are solvable and we all deserve and can live happy lives. You just can't ctb without 100% sure that it's the only way(talking about terminal ill all in pain people)

Everybody can find a reason to live. Take Nick Vujchich as an exaple

you live in a fantasy world if you believe most people on here can live "happy" lives

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Guys I'm just sure thar 90%+- of people's problems here are solvable and we all deserve and can live happy lives. You just can't ctb without 100% sure that it's the only way(talking about terminal ill all in pain people)

Everybody can find a reason to live. Take Nick Vujchich as an exaple

you nor anyone on this thread nor anywhere can convince me why i have to live another day or why i have to or should do anything. There is no objective reason. life is meaningless. life is meaningless suffering.

I do what i want to with my life . i choose to exit this prison hell soon

 

[Hollowman]

Guys I'm just sure thar 90%+- of people's problems here are solvable and we all deserve and can live happy lives. You just can't ctb without 100% sure that it's the only way(talking about terminal ill all in pain people)

Everybody can find a reason to live. Take Nick Vujchich as an exaple

90% huh? How could you possibly know that?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Why bother signing up to this site if you are going to get upset over people respecting others' decisions? Why should others be obligated to tell everyone why they want to ctb, if they tried to make things better, and if they are sure it will be better on the other? What is even the point of that? This site is pro-choice, meaning that if you decide to ctb then we will respect your decision to do so. If you decide not to, then we will also respect your decision to not ctb. If I wanted a bunch of people to scream "no" whenever I talk about wanting to attempt and give me a bunch of shitty platitudes then I would hang out on r/suicidewatch.

 

[ceilng_tile]

Guys I'm just sure thar 90%+- of people's problems here are solvable and we all deserve and can live happy lives. You just can't ctb without 100% sure that it's the only way(talking about terminal ill all in pain people)

Everybody can find a reason to live. Take Nick Vujchich as an exaple

I am actively trying to solve my problem, but the chances of being successful are probably less than 1%. If I am not successful I am going to ctb. I am not going to settle for anything less than the life I want. I am tired of other people deciding that they know more about what's best for me in life than I do. I'd rather die on my own terms than live on someone else's.

If you want to stop someone from making an impulsive decision then I support you. But don't tell the rest of us that our problems are solvable unless you're actually willing to put in the time, energy, and resources to help us solve them.

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Guys I'm just sure thar 90%+- of people's problems here are solvable and we all deserve and can live happy lives. You just can't ctb without 100% sure that it's the only way(talking about terminal ill all in pain people)

Everybody can find a reason to live. Take Nick Vujchich as an exaple

Nick Vujchich is a christian evangelist. If I have to believe in bullshit in order to live, then that alone proves to me that life ain't worth living. 84% of the world is religious, and this is precisely because life sucks ass on the whole. And the religions themselves do not shy away from agreeing with this conclusion, but they usually hold out a carrot on the stick for you to follow straight to your grave (an afterlife, escaping reincarnation, etc). But without religion, there's no objective purpose to live, life ceases to have any fundamental value, and there's no objective right or wrong. Therefore, as pthnrdnojvsc said, you cannot convince me of any reason to live. If you take a good sober look at life and the world, this place is a fucking insane asylum, and people like you coming here with your glib responses only further proves that to me. We come to this forum to escape folks like you, folks that dominate society. I find it preposterous that you want to complain about this forum not stopping people from making their own decisions about their own lives, when people can go literally anywhere else to get empty platitudes and fake sympathy. This is the only place that respects our right to choose, the only place where we can speak freely, and the only place where we can find information that will help us avoid maiming ourselves in a shoddy suicide attempt.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say that people like you are one of the biggest rope fuels for me, there's just so many of you. I hate that humanity will likely never change and allow people to do what they wish with their own lives. We don't choose to be born, and we shouldn't have to stay until we meet some arbitrary requirement like being terminally ill (spoiler alert, we are all terminally ill from the moment we're born), severe mental illness, or incurable suffering. Honestly, thank you for the reminder of why I'd like to check out so much.

 

[heliophobic]

This is exactly what I'm saying. There's absolutely nothing wrong with stopping someone from making an impulsive decision. CTB should always be thought out and, I hate to break it to some cynics, sometimes there are people, even on here, that just make an impulsive decision. ALL decisions should be well thought out.

 

[dz.bouquet]

Looks like sect and cult of death or smth

I'm relatively new here but this is literally a place for discussions about suicide and other hardships.

If it offends you why would you come to this place?

 

[lnlybnny]

I understand why people here refrain from trying to stop anyone from doing it: most of us are already tired of others on the outside telling us how we should feel, that ''it gets better'' and other empty cliches like that. If we wanted to hear that we could just ask for help anywhere outside of here. I think the whole point of this place is to not judge people on their decisions. I even thought comments like yours could end up in a ban.

In this website we find other people who truly understand how we feel and know we're beyond reach of these empty words that don't carry any meaning, which are mostly said by people who don't actually want to help but just feel better with themselves and their ''savior complex''... In the end you can only be helped if you want to; no one can help if you already made your mind and generic advises don't serve for anything. If someone arrives in this website I'm sure they already know what they'll find, at least they should.

 

[Reflection]

Everybody can find a reason to live. Take Nick Vujchich as an exaple

I have many reasons to live but I also have one reason that makes it all go to shit, and I also cannot do anything about it.

I've debated long enough whether suicide is the answer or not, so I'm definitely not making a rash on the fly decision here.

If everything solves before the date I decided on, then I'll gladly go on to live. If not, then I can assure you that not even the best therapist or psychiatrist in the world would have been able to save me.

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

Stopping someone may come off intrusive…. And people can get angry…. And I always hope that people who made such a serious and important decision know what they're doing. That it's well formed decision.
But it personally makes me feel uneasy when someone posts a goodbye thread others keep asking details about how that person is feeling while dying just to know how good the chosen method is and such. It feels too impersonal and lacks empathy…
But ultimately it's our decision whether we live or die, and it's not an easy decision and sometimes people posting here want support in their last moments. Strictly speaking my problems are considered solvable which would mean settling for a lonely life of an old maid without any of my goals reached. Yes, due to my sick mind and my own mistakes, but it doesn't mean I have to live for the sake of living enjoying things I'm unable to enjoy anymore and pretend that I can be happy.
Every human being deserves to make that decision, decision to die in their own terms, considering we don't get to choose to be born

 

[Ol Messier 87]

There are indeed people here who can be helped, I have spoken to some of them, and no one will stop you from trying to do so. But hoping to solve the problems of 90% of them with a few words exchanged on a forum is illusory. If you want to help, spot those who actually don't want to die, and talk to them. But for those of us who are already more or less on the other side, don't waste your energy, don't cheer up, I don't do it and don't like it either.

 

[lnlybnny]

Stopping someone may come off intrusive…. And people can get angry…. And I always hope that people who made such a serious and important decision know what they're doing. That it's well formed decision.
But it personally makes me feel uneasy when someone posts a goodbye thread others keep asking details about how that person is feeling while dying just to know how good the chosen method is and such. It feels too impersonal and lacks empathy…

I understand this, I feel very uncomfortable replying to GB threads. It just doesn't sit right with me even though I know that's part of being here and it's kinda hypocritical of me but still... I try to just read and not respond

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

I understand this, I feel very uncomfortable replying to GB threads. It just doesn't sit right with me even though I know that's part of being here and it's kinda hypocritical of me but still... I try to just read and not respond

I can really understand. It's selfish of me too. I stopped reading those threads since I registered here for the second time. Cuz before each time I read those posts I went to dark place, started crying…. It was too much…. Especially after Dani was gone (may he rest in peace)….

 

[nir]

I actually have seen a lot of examples of people trying to stop people from CTBing on this site. I also often see people tell others that if they can't CTB/they change their mind, that they shouldn't be ashamed and that they can come back here for support. There might be some people on here who truly are fully pro-suicide, but I mainly see a lot of people just wishing others peace and giving them comfort in what would have been lonely last minutes for them. Is that not enough?

 

[willitpass]

I actually have seen a lot of examples of people trying to stop people from CTBing on this site. I also often see people tell others that if they can't CTB/they change their mind, that they shouldn't be ashamed and that they can come back here for support. There might be some people on here who truly are fully pro-suicide, but I mainly see a lot of people just wishing others peace and giving them comfort in what would have been lonely last minutes for them. Is that not enough?

People are constantly offering alternative solutions to problems. People recommended different treatments for mental illnesses, lifestyle changes for lifestyle problems, alternative treatments for physical illness, places to receive help for XYZ. Often those are found in threads a person posts prior to deciding to CTB, if not in the thread itself. And wishing someone peace is not egging someone on. Wishing someone peace can mean anything from having a come to jesus moment and deciding to live to successfully CTB and being free from pain. I've never seen anyone say "yes! so happy for you!" or "just do it" to someone making that final decision. And no one owes us a detailed list of every attempt they've made to solve their problems here. They don't owe us a reason for what they're doing. If they offer it freely then that helps us understand better and may allow us to help them if they're receptive to it, but they do not owe us anything.

OP if you are so appalled by the fact that people on a suicide site are unfortunately going to commit suicide then you probably shouldn't be here. It's heartbreaking. It's awful. It is horrible that we live in a world where so many are driven to this state. It's the reason I avoid goodbye threads, it's truly horrific that it happens. But nobody here wants people to kill themselves. Nobody is happy that people are dying. We just acknowledge that for some people there is something (or several things) that make life not worth living. And that should they chose to take that path as a competent adult that it is their choice. And should they choose to not do it, maybe even recover or put their life back together, we would all be happier. But that isn't an option for "90% of people".

 

[MentalFuneral]

you know its nice for once not having people act like they know me and my circumstances better than i do, thats why i like this place

 

[Z-A]

Nobody is in a position to judge others regarding their desire to live or not, regardless of the circumstances. Nobody chose this life; there is no justification required.

Of course people support and respect each other's decisions. This is a pro-choice forum, so don't forget where you are when you see the posts.

 

[escape_from_hell]

So I find it awful that no-one here tries to stop someone on their attemp and only cheer up.

Sure...how dare anyone here offer comfort to someone in their last moments in this version of hell.

If you have a way to miracle away everyone's agony go ahead.

There are also many who simply wish to exit, even though they are not suffering.

Is it impossible to respect any degree of autonomy in others? Do you also get mad at others who eat ice cream flavors you don't like?
Maybe you'd say that's a ridiculous analogy or comparison altogether. But that's exactly it: the experiences of others are not the same as your experiences. You are you. Others are others.

 

[BlackEyedDog]

So I find it awful that no-one here tries to stop someone on their attemp and only cheer up. Looks like sect and cult of death or smth. I will probably get banned for posts like that. I think you should have a few step verification before you make a goodbye post, like why you want to do it? Did you try everything to make your life better? Are you sure it will be better on the other side? I'm just so concerned about a young guy that ctbd today bc of not terminal reasons and I got hated for doubting his decision. Admins should really think about trying to help people before they decide to do their last step. Only if they care of course.

What you did was disrespectful imo. Goodbye threads are difficult, I do get that and I still have a hard time with them myself. I can understand where you might be coming from, but then you are also maybe in the wrong place.

just about everyone who ctb's, does it alone somewhere out there in the world. people who choose to post in goodbye threads may provide them a small amount of comfort in their most difficult time. it may be the main reason anyone posts such a thread. and as others already said, some people do gently post that if they change their mind, it's okay and we would welcome you back with open arms. no one pushes anyone to do anything, and that's obviously a basic rule of the site. thinking we can just yell 'don't do it' and everything will be okay is folly. spend more time here and you may come to understand this. or you can turn off the suicide discussion forum in your settings and spend time in the other forums.

so while it may have felt like the right thing to write what you did, you may have also caused some discomfort to someone in their last moments. you made it about your feelings, about you. and the thread derailed.

ps, it wasn't a young man, she chose to ctb and there is always more to the story.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

then don't go through the signup process.

 

[coolgal82]

personally it's not my business. if they wanna do it and feel their reasons are valid then theyre free to do so. if they want support i'm happy to try and provide, if they don't then i wont. simple as.