no valid reasons to want to ctb?- but I want to "asap"

[Ashley_1988]

i don´t know if some can relate. I´ve been struggling with depression, anxiety and adaptation disorder for years. Nevertheless I have good friends, a loving family that I was adopted to when i was just 1 year old. My family is not perfect and I am still angry about stuff and mistakes also huge ones (in my point of view) that my parents made. But I know they actually love me and want me to be happy, as well es my many friends want that for me too. though for me I feel not do have valid reasons to want to die - when i read some of the stories by other members, know about the situation of some friends who had to grow up in a violet household, getting neglected by them who were supposed to take care of u, or being bullied at school for years... I know it is not about comparing pain- but still I feel like an selfish person when I know I had it a objectively pretty good life ..Still it dos not change the fact that i´ve thinking about ctb for years - ant the last couple of month acutely on daily basis.
I really want to ctb just don´t want to...i just don´t want to...actually I hope I get it done tomorrow ...i really just want to be gone....

 

[Ashley_1988]

i don´t know if some can relate. I´ve been struggling with depression, anxiety and adaptation disorder for years. Nevertheless I have good friends, a loving family that I was adopted to when i was just 1 year old. My family is not perfect and I am still angry about stuff and mistakes also huge ones (in my point of view) that my parents made. But I know they actually love me and want me to be happy, as well es my many friends want that for me too. though for me I feel not do have valid reasons to want to die - when i read some of the stories by other members, know about the situation of some friends who had to grow up in a violet household, getting neglected by them who were supposed to take care of u, or being bullied at school for years... I know it is not about comparing pain- but still I feel like an selfish person when I know I had it a objectively pretty good life ..Still it dos not change the fact that i´ve thinking about ctb for years - ant the last couple of month acutely on daily basis.
I really want to ctb just don´t want to...i just don´t want to...actually I hope I get it done tomorrow ...i really just want to be gone....

hey thanks for ur emojis I am trying to move on, and give live another shot ..i will try at least