Venting No one understands

[lostintheloop]

I've had a pretty good life. I read stories on here about people who have been through hell to say the least. I've had no major trauma and I don't believe I have any mental illnesses anymore.

Despite it being a while since last attempt, my family still think it's okay to have me on suicide watch basically (yes I'm an adult, but can't afford to move back out). They've loosened it a little lately but still really restricts my methods. Only leaves hanging or jumping and no room for error.

no one gets it, that I'm not unwell and I'm thinking clearly. Why should I have to live a life, I don't want to live. I'm going to do it regardless so they're only pushing me into more brutal or riskier methods. I'm what's wrong in my life and it's rational to get rid of that problem, why does that make me mentally ill ?

I really want to discharge myself from MH services but I think it's easier if I just play along. If could discharge myself as I have thr capacity but then my family will become very suspicious. I haven't denied thoughts to CTB to the MH team as it'd seem sus. But obviously I'm denying any plans. I'm honestly not depressed anymore, just understandably unhappy with myself and life. I won't take any of their 'treatments' though as I'm not ill . I'm thinking very clearly and they just try to pathologise everything.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Why should I have to live a life, I don't want to live.

I've asked this question pro-lifers so many times, but I never got a satisfying answer.

In hope you can find peace!

 

[AsleepPreference160]

That's the hard part, convincing people to respect your decision to die, due to the incredibly bad stigma it has basically everywhere, even on the internet. People just don't try to understand. Also you're correct that suicide restriction only causes people to choose more brutal methods, it doesn't help anyone for fuck's sake.

 

[lostintheloop]

That's the hard part, convincing people to respect your decision to die, due to the incredibly bad stigma it has basically everywhere, even on the internet. People just don't try to understand. Also you're correct that suicide restriction only causes people to choose more brutal methods, it doesn't help anyone for fuck's sake.

Yeah. It's especially frustrating when it's random strangers on the internet. Like what impact does it have on them how/when I die.

I don't care at all what people think of my decision when I'm gone, just tired of people making it harder to suit their own agenda.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate it when people view wanting to die as being an "illness" when the reality is that wanting suicide is perfectly logical especially as existence is so meaningless, futile and holds unlimited potential for suffering. For many people existence just isn't worth enduring and the only relief for them lies in death, to me it's so cruel to want to make people prisoners to this existence when they want to be gone, other people should never have any right to interfere in the decision to die.

 

[Slasher]

people can be selfish and especially when it comes to suicide, they feel like they are responsible for your life and need to protect you. I went trough a period of time where I was completely content with my life like nothing was wrong and everything went my way for once but I just didn't feel like living, it was just too tiring to be alive. the idea of absolute nothingness brings such bliss to me, no thoughts, no feelings, no pain, no anything, simply better then living.

 

[Readytogo246]

Wanting to die and check out is a healthy response to a tough situation that doesn't get better. It may be freedom. Sounds like you are caged in by those around you. I hope you find a way to create change.

 

[absolomonisgone]

We have been indoctrinated by society even thousands of years before we we born that wanting to die and killing yourself is wrong. Even thinkers/philosophers who believe death by suicide is ok, hide their thoughts in a lot of verbiage/jargon and deliberately scatter their thoughts in their books, because, they knew, if they said it directly, their books/ university tenure would not see the day.
So, they left their ideas hanging and subject to misinterpretations.