No One Is Responsible for Your Happiness Except You

[Celerity]

People love to say this, and I suppose it's true.

However, in the same breath, they will also say that suicidal people are selfish for not appreciating how much their suicide will spoil the happiness of others.

So which is it? Are we responsible for others' happiness or not?

 

[motel rooms]

People love to say this, and I suppose it's true.

It isn't true. People routinely mistreat children & other adults who can't fight back & make them feel desperate

 

[Celerity]

It isn't true. People routinely mistreat children & other adults who can't fight back & make them feel desperate

Those are special circumstances go. Self-sustaining adult to adult though, it makes sense, particularly in our sink-or-swim, every-man-for-himself society.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

If that's true then I'm definitely fucked because I actively go about destroying my own happiness all the time, usually as punishment for destroying my happiness at some other point in the past. It's a vicious cycle that will never end until one or both of us dies.

 

[BlankUser]

Sounds like another toxic positive quote to me. Messed up brain chemistry that you can't control can be a major reason why you feel unhappy.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I'm gonna repost a quote that @hotelbeneathground posted not long ago in another thread:

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."

With what has been done to you and with what has been given to you. Of course the ideal way would be to make the best out of it - to free yourself from the chains that bound you, or turn them into an advantage, or better yet, to triumphantly revolt against them - but that's romanticized wishful thinking.

The point is - something has been done (and given) to you and because of this, your freedom is not absolute.

 

[virginiawoolf]

i think the meaning of the quote is to not be dependent on external validation. of course you are dependent on a stable environment for happiness - but in our society full of empty positivity, people like to ignore this.

 

[Anonymous_A]

No ones responsible for my happiness?

No ones responsible for my death, so leave me to it.

 

[motel rooms]

If that's true then I'm definitely fucked because I actively go about destroying my own happiness all the time, usually as punishment for destroying my happiness at some other point in the past. It's a vicious cycle that will never end until one or both of us dies.

And so, for the sake of momentum,
I'm condemning my future to death
So it can match the past.

-- Aimee Mann

 

[eternalmelancholy]

However, in the same breath, they will also say that suicidal people are selfish for not appreciating how much their suicide will spoil the happiness of others.

People don't like it when you rock the boat. Talking about uncomfortable things like death and the meaningless of life will anger people. That is why it is best to just keep quiet. I found that people will not hesitate to exploit your weakness for their own personal gain.

SS is great because it is anonymous and people on here have an open mind. So you can talk about stuff that you normally have to keep to yourself.

 

[motel rooms]

Those are special circumstances go. Self-sustaining adult to adult though, it makes sense, particularly in our sink-or-swim, every-man-for-himself society.

Well, maybe it was kind of true in the West back when a lot of people could easily get another job if their boss treated them like shit, but now that the swimming pool has been almost drained it's hard to be a happy independent swimmer

 

[WornOutLife]

You've got a great point.
That's my eternal dilemma, I guess.

However, leaving my dad's feelings aside once I ctb, I really think my happiness only depends on me.

I don't blame anyone for being suicidal. Hatred leads nowhere and you only end up poisoned for decades (or even until the day you die).
I have all I need to be happy but that's not enough.

I wanna understand existence, not just be a goddamn insignificant silly ape stuck on a blue rock.

Just get me outta here please! lol

 

[motel rooms]

I don't blame anyone for being suicidal. Hatred leads nowhere and you only end up poisoned for decades (or even until the day you die).

We can't just decide not to hate. We can't make our unconscious mind do anything it refuses to do, we're at its mercy until the day we die

 

[WornOutLife]

We can't just decide not to hate. We can't make our unconscious mind do anything it refuses to do, we're at its mercy until the day we die

Well, I've decided not to hate and it seems to be working for me.
My classmates made my life hell and I hated them for many years but now I don't.

I guess each human is different.

 

[motel rooms]

I guess each human is different.

Yes, but we all have this in common - we can't get rid of emotions just by deciding to do so

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

People are not worth listening to. There are a few exceptions; a handful of people here on SaSu, for example.

 

[FuneralCry]

Things out of our control can affect our mood, we are not always responsible for it, such as trauma. We can try to convince ourselves that we are happy but our own thoughts can torture us and we have little control over this. In many situations it is irrational to be positive.
Suicidal people have no obligation to stay alive, it isn't like they asked to be alivein the first place. It is selfish for others to expect them to stay alive just for their sake.

 

[motel rooms]

Sounds like another toxic positive quote to me. Messed up brain chemistry that you can't control can be a major reason why you feel unhappy.

Yup.
"Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you lazy footless cripple!"

 

[Gaybonez]

People love to say this, and I suppose it's true.

However, in the same breath, they will also say that suicidal people are selfish for not appreciating how much their suicide will spoil the happiness of others.

So which is it? Are we responsible for others' happiness or not?

Half truth

 

[Pallf]

Reminds me of high school. Every morning, someone on the intercom would say "Have a good day, or not. The choice is yours." and I remember one morning while that was playing, some school official came into my class to let one of the students know that they lost a family member. I don't think they could've chose to have a good day after hearing about a death in the family.

 

[Celerity]

Reminds me of high school. Every morning, someone on the intercom would say "Have a good day, or not. The choice is yours." and I remember one morning while that was playing, some school official came into my class to let one of the students know that they lost a family member. I don't think they could've chose to have a good day after hearing about a death in the family.

This one grates. I absolutely hate that saying especially when, as your example shows, there are plenty of exceptions to go around. To be stoic in the face of pain is inhuman. We live in an inhuman society now that expects the impossible. It is no mystery why people are killing themselves in droves.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Nah. I'm not responsible for anyone else's happiness, and they're not responsible for mine. That's just how I see it. And IMO people who condemn others for ctb like that are showing a significant lack of understanding.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I am responsible for my own happiness? So as a 37yr old women, I have to smile through a rape, smile through the trauma, smile through the flash backs and so forth? I have to turn that hell into a postiive and say *I am miserable because I control my happiness?*

Nah fuck off!!