pampxxie
hiiii hi hi AHAHEHEHAHA
- Jul 5, 2023
- 40
hi!
i will be dead on april 13th.
currently, i have 8 days left to live!
i'm weirdly numb and waiting out the days until i can be gone :)
recently, i had a failed hanging attempt in an abandoned apartment. after i lost consciousness, the rope slipped and i fell, someone heard the bang (i guess someone happened to be in the building at the time) and i was brought to the hospital.
im really sad about this because i actually managed to make friends from this website and i will genuinely hurt some of them by doing this and if you know who you are, i'm really sorry.
im tired of being hurt by those who are supposed to love and protect me.
ignore this, its just me pretending to say everything i wish i couldve said-
after all the years of shit i have taken from you, ive decided to listen to you! im really gonna do it! i'm really gonna kill myself. i couldnt put a bullet in my head, i tried tying a rope around my neck over and over again. i took the fucking pills. i'm sorry i disappointed you by not DYING! but i'm really gonna do it now. when i hurl my body off of that building and its all over the news i hope youre happy you got what you wanted. after all the constant mental and physical abuse you have put me through, and how constant i have stayed, "i love you" "i'm so grateful for everything youve given me" "i dont know what id do if i didnt have you" i'm just so tired and i cant keep lying to your face. you have worked me out to the bone. someone i met online recently has became one of my most important people in my whole life and something ne have told me is that i should stay alive just to meet myself first. and its funny because i cant even know who i am while youre in my life. you've suppressed everything from me in my whole entire life. its so stupid, because i dont even know who i am because of the person that i have to be when im around you. when im around you i feel like a rat, in a cage, being watched by a camera. there is so much anger in me and i cant put it anywhere which is why im as tired as i am. this anger just swirls around in circles over and over and over and over and over again and it is SO tiring not being able to let it out. so i think when i jump off of that building i'm gonna scream. im not gonna scream in fear or regret, but hate. because oh, how i hate you. i hate you so, so much. even back when i was young and not directly suicidal, before i even knew what it meant to be suicidal, i would wish things upon myself like getting cancer or some deadly disease so i wouldnt have to deal with your words every day.
ive actually gone insane lol i think i'm excited to die and i mean more excited than usual. i hope its black. like pitch black. no thoughts no feelings nothing to see or feel i hope its just nothing at all because god that would be really nice!
my fucking soul is tired and idk how many "lives" ive gone through or however it works but im tired asf and i hope im not reincarnated or some shit
love yall and i will be lingering around the site for the next 8 days
i will be dead on april 13th.
currently, i have 8 days left to live!
i'm weirdly numb and waiting out the days until i can be gone :)
recently, i had a failed hanging attempt in an abandoned apartment. after i lost consciousness, the rope slipped and i fell, someone heard the bang (i guess someone happened to be in the building at the time) and i was brought to the hospital.
im really sad about this because i actually managed to make friends from this website and i will genuinely hurt some of them by doing this and if you know who you are, i'm really sorry.
im tired of being hurt by those who are supposed to love and protect me.
ignore this, its just me pretending to say everything i wish i couldve said-
after all the years of shit i have taken from you, ive decided to listen to you! im really gonna do it! i'm really gonna kill myself. i couldnt put a bullet in my head, i tried tying a rope around my neck over and over again. i took the fucking pills. i'm sorry i disappointed you by not DYING! but i'm really gonna do it now. when i hurl my body off of that building and its all over the news i hope youre happy you got what you wanted. after all the constant mental and physical abuse you have put me through, and how constant i have stayed, "i love you" "i'm so grateful for everything youve given me" "i dont know what id do if i didnt have you" i'm just so tired and i cant keep lying to your face. you have worked me out to the bone. someone i met online recently has became one of my most important people in my whole life and something ne have told me is that i should stay alive just to meet myself first. and its funny because i cant even know who i am while youre in my life. you've suppressed everything from me in my whole entire life. its so stupid, because i dont even know who i am because of the person that i have to be when im around you. when im around you i feel like a rat, in a cage, being watched by a camera. there is so much anger in me and i cant put it anywhere which is why im as tired as i am. this anger just swirls around in circles over and over and over and over and over again and it is SO tiring not being able to let it out. so i think when i jump off of that building i'm gonna scream. im not gonna scream in fear or regret, but hate. because oh, how i hate you. i hate you so, so much. even back when i was young and not directly suicidal, before i even knew what it meant to be suicidal, i would wish things upon myself like getting cancer or some deadly disease so i wouldnt have to deal with your words every day.
ive actually gone insane lol i think i'm excited to die and i mean more excited than usual. i hope its black. like pitch black. no thoughts no feelings nothing to see or feel i hope its just nothing at all because god that would be really nice!
my fucking soul is tired and idk how many "lives" ive gone through or however it works but im tired asf and i hope im not reincarnated or some shit
love yall and i will be lingering around the site for the next 8 days
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