Venting No one can understand and I’m tired

[Umbreon]

No one can know why I want to CTB except me. I believe I'm the only person who wants to kill themselves for the reason that I do. It's an oddly specific reason that is literally impossible to fix that's very stressful for me in combination with my other problems and it's too embarrassing and weird to open up to anybody about.

Anyways I think I'd rather die than finish this online appliance repair course. I look like garbage because of my bad hygiene and unhealthy lifestyle on top of not being able to go to the doctor or dentist. Already withdrew from community college twice with my grand dads money because I'm a moron and my overdrafted account is closed and has no money. I don't even know how I'd get the stimmy now!! Not that fixing my financial problems will fix anything at this rate.

I just kept self sabotaging more and more things once I flew off the deep end not working or in school to the point where I have even less energy . I've been fired by all of my bosses, the real world is so much colder than I could have ever known. I just want to stop thinking and being forced live already.

 

[usernameforhere]

So it looks like they will
Mail you a check at some point if your bank account is closed. I'm sorry your having problems and I hope things get better.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Why does posts like these hits really close to home? I'm like you. Why am I still alive right now? I want to quit nursing school, but I can't do that because I will longer be eligible for future loans. The grade projection is going downward due to uncontrolled anxiety with a hint of depression. The society will be in much better place without me. Those student loans I've borrowed could've gone to a promising student or some smart international student. That seat from the prestigious nursing school could've gone to a promising future nurse. My organs could've belong to somebody if only sanctioned suicide services exist. All those money my parents given to me for a brighter future could've gone to their retirement. I don't know how to repay my parents and siblings with all the love, help and money they have given me. I don't deserve to live. Let someone else live my life. I love Canada as an immigrant, and I love my family the most, but fuck my life!

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]