No matter how much we want to leave, what about...

[BjartNO]

I don't have the capacity to help others, because I don't have the capacity to help myself. It's not narcissistic, it's pathological

 

[Trashcan]

no i dont believe in karma

but the first step to popularity is to give more than to take.


even many succesful psychopath do this (at least at the beginning) to gain the trust and respect of others.

if you smile honestly at people they will smile back in most of the cases (at least if youre not ugly as the sin)


in general people aint bad. if you help them, give them presents, attention they will feel the urge/obligation to "pay" you back. its deep in our dna. humans are social beings. our ancestors wouldnt have survived if they all would have been bitter, weird loners or straight assholes and psychopaths.

helping others is often a great feeling too. can give you purpose, the feeling to be needed and eventual happines.

and i would put it that way: giving more than taking is no garantue for a happy life but always taking more than you give is a garantuee for an eventually unhappy life

the worst thing you can do after getting treated badly is to become bitter, self absorbed and tryhard egoistical. taking yourself the chance away to shine for yourself and others

Do you volunteer?

 

[406blue]

I'm glad i posted this issue, it's got a lot of response of different kinds. Many people see their lives as giving acts of kindness in their lives, not just volunteering in an immediate sense or giving away their immediate possessions. It's helped me understand better the concept of volunteering in a way that i didn't intend when i posted it.

 

[406blue]

no i dont believe in karma

but the first step to popularity is to give more than to take.


even many succesful psychopath do this (at least at the beginning) to gain the trust and respect of others.

if you smile honestly at people they will smile back in most of the cases (at least if youre not ugly as the sin)


in general people aint bad. if you help them, give them presents, attention they will feel the urge/obligation to "pay" you back. its deep in our dna. humans are social beings. our ancestors wouldnt have survived if they all would have been bitter, weird loners or straight assholes and psychopaths.

helping others is often a great feeling too. can give you purpose, the feeling to be needed and eventual happines.

and i would put it that way: giving more than taking is no garantue for a happy life but always taking more than you give is a garantuee for an eventually unhappy life

the worst thing you can do after getting treated badly is to become bitter, self absorbed and tryhard egoistical. taking yourself the chance away to shine for yourself and others

This is exactly what karma is, the way you describe your feelings indicates that you do understand the concept completely.

 

[Circles]

no i dont believe in karma

but the first step to popularity is to give more than to take.


even many succesful psychopath do this (at least at the beginning) to gain the trust and respect of others.

if you smile honestly at people they will smile back in most of the cases (at least if youre not ugly as the sin)


in general people aint bad. if you help them, give them presents, attention they will feel the urge/obligation to "pay" you back. its deep in our dna. humans are social beings. our ancestors wouldnt have survived if they all would have been bitter, weird loners or straight assholes and psychopaths.

helping others is often a great feeling too. can give you purpose, the feeling to be needed and eventual happines.

and i would put it that way: giving more than taking is no garantue for a happy life but always taking more than you give is a garantuee for an eventually unhappy life

the worst thing you can do after getting treated badly is to become bitter, self absorbed and tryhard egoistical. taking yourself the chance away to shine for yourself and others

Welp that's very opinionated and I respect that. I would rebuttal everything you just said but why bother. You believe people in general aren't bad but to me I believe in the opposite. Most people atleast where I live are assholes and most people whom I ever encountered in my entire life are just that self absorbed narcissistic assholes. 'Humans are social beings' lol. While I agree that human society evolved while being social it doesn't mean that there aren't runts like me who despise human interactions. Hell some people probably a lot actually are and never have been social which is my case and just don't sees the point with such exhausting encounters that feels claustrophobic.

 

[406blue]

I'm a misanthropist as well but i think i realise somewhere that it's not just about me. No matter how selfish people might be at their core it's a question of trying to make them less so through a small act in a wider perspective. While we can't change anything overnight we have the ability to act. We like to talk about 'acting' to ctb so why not act to do some good, however miniscule it may seem. However, acting to ctb brings terrible consequences to people as well. It's a dilemma and that's why this forum exists and so many people want to talk, well some of them about existential things like this. Most people who come here are above average IQ, they get it or at least they get something and are not fucking robots.

 

[millefeui]

Karma is just a concept. No proofs that it is a real thing. It is hard to act solely based on a concept.

 

[406blue]

Karma is just a concept. No proofs that it is a real thing. It is hard to act solely based on a concept.

I don't mean karma as a concept from a hindu or religious point of view. If you smile at someone they tend to smile back, it's just reality. In religion karma has many associations with afterlife but that's not what i mean. Do you feel better if someone does you a simple service of human goodwill? Perhaps better is not the right word. Karma for me is just about passing on negative or positive energy, which lives on, even if it lasts 5 minutes. If we have sincerely the capacity to commit suicide by our actions then our capacity to act can't be limited to just that.

 

[mattwitt]

I went to the gas station a couple of nights ago and gave the girl who made my food an 8 dollar tip just for making me some mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers and the look on her face when I gave it to her was priceless. It wasn't much money but her jaw dropped and she was frozen with shock and happiness ! It totally made my night and I'm still getting some joy from it !

 

[throwaway777]

I went to the gas station a couple of nights ago and gave the girl who made my food an 8 dollar tip just for making me some mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers and the look on her face when I gave it to her was priceless. It wasn't much money but her jaw dropped and she was frozen with shock and happiness ! It totally made my night and I'm still getting some joy from it !

this is so sweet :333

 

[mattwitt]

this is so sweet :333

Thanks! When I was placing my order she was telling me how wonderful and golden her night was so far and how somebody just before me left her a tip in the receipt basket and how that never happens and she was all happy about that. So when I put my tip in the basket she kind of of lost it with happiness and joy !

 

[throwaway777]

Thanks! When I was placing my order she was telling me how wonderful and golden her night was so far and how somebody just before me left her a tip in the receipt basket and how that never happens and she was all happy about that. So when I put my tip in the basket she kind of of lost it with happiness and joy !

thank you for doing what you did and telling us :D it makes me smile :33

 

[Wantingpeace]

I try and be nice and i used to volunteer etc want to do stuff to help people I'm paralysed in terror experienicng terrifying things in public..people's face look evil..is just impossible..

 

[Wantingpeace]

i dont understand … how can i be narcissistic if i hate myself ? ...other people's suffering affects me … id love to be helpful, but i cant .. it's not that i make everything about me … i dont understan what u mean ...

I understand you xxx hug

 

[throwaway777]

I understand you xxx hug

thank u <33 hugs :3

 

[Wantingpeace]

kinda narcissistic if you think about it

Kinda uncompassionate of you, if you think about it!

 

[Taylored]

I do believe all the work for the elderly and disabled youth will leave a positive impact for me despite not wanting any fame or notice after death.

 

[worldexploder]

I really want to get my views on the right to die out there before I CTB. Not sure how effective it's gonna be but I may as well throw a Hail Mary.

 

[Rollo]

if you smile honestly at people they will smile back in most of the cases (at least if youre not ugly as the sin)

But aren't you smiling trully honestly only when you're smiling cause you're happy? So if you're smiling at people cause you want to be nice to them and maybe want for them to smile back - smile is not all that honest. Kinda like smiling for a picture. I personally never smile for pictures - unless I just so happen to feel smile-grade-happy at the exact moment shutter clicks. Some photographers may try to pressure me into smiling but they always leave empty handed (and that chin it only moves up too).

So same with people. I smile at someone only if seeing this someone trully provokes good deal of happiness. Like seeing my woman or a friend. But as far as smiling back as a polite thing to do - I never do it. I remember once being at a government dental clinic, and there was this dentist chick. When I open the door I said hello to her, and she turned back all smiley and said 'hello' in a very playful manner. Which kinda startled me and I just looked at her with no emotion and proceeded to the chair. But the bitch obviously wanted me to show how happy I was cause from then on she treated me like absolute shit. So that I was forced to cut her loose and switch the dentist on my further visits. Still I felt like I didn't give her enough shit back just cause I was in vunerable position of her fucking with my tooth so I wanted to meet her in hallway just so I could stare her dead in the eyes and show her what true impoliteness is if she started talking. Never got the chance though.

 

[ctoan]

"But as far as smiling back as a polite thing to do - I never do it. I remember once being at a government dental clinic, and there was this dentist chick. When I open the door I said hello to her, and she turned back all smiley and said 'hello' in a very playful manner. Which kinda startled me and I just looked at her with no emotion and proceeded to the chair. But the bitch obviously wanted me to show how happy I was cause from then on she treated me like absolute shit. So that I was forced to cut her loose and switch the dentist on my further visits. Still I felt like I didn't give her enough shit back just cause I was in vunerable position of her fucking with my tooth so I wanted to meet her in hallway just so I could stare her dead in the eyes and show her what true impoliteness is if she started talking. Never got the chance though."

dont take this the wrong way and you probably a nice guy...but that is just straight autism right there

 

[Rollo]

dont take this the wrong way and you probably a nice guy...but that is just straight autism right there

I can be nice and I can be not nice, so I wouldn't describe myself as a nice guy. Not trying to be nice that's for sure. What exactly strike you as "autistic" though?

 

[ctoan]

I can be nice and I can be not nice, so I wouldn't describe myself as a nice guy. Not trying to be nice that's for sure. What exactly strike you as "autistic" though?

everything

are you able to switch positions? analyze the the situation from her point of view

im curious

 

[Rollo]

everything

are you able to switch positions? analyze the the situation from her point of view

im curious

Yeah I'm able to switch positions. Like once I would smile back at people to be polite but since then I realised it's an unhealthy and compulsive thing to do and stopped doing it. I sure can analyze the situation, including her point of view, but I don't understand what you mean by 'from her point of view'. Anyway her point of view was she smiled at me and strongly expected me to smile back whether I want it or not. Cause in her mind it's a proper thing to do and it's what she personally wanted. When she failed to get what she want she disliked me for it and decided to fuck with me.

If smiling only when I want to and not when some random spiteful bitch expects me to is autisctic - count me in. Still to me it's a severe misnomer on your part.

 

[ctoan]

Yeah I'm able to switch positions. Like once I would smile back at people to be polite but since then I realised it's an unhealthy and compulsive thing to do and stopped doing it. I sure can analyze the situation, including her point of view, but I don't understand what you mean by 'from her point of view'. Anyway her point of view was she smiled at me and strongly expected me to smile back whether I want it or not. Cause in her mind it's a proper thing to do and it's what she personally wanted. When she failed to get what she want she disliked me for it and decided to fuck with me.

If smiling only when I want to and not when some random spiteful bitch expects me to is autisctic - count me in. Still to me it's a severe misnomer on your part.

nope

1. she works there. its EXPECTED from her to smile to EVERYONE not just you.so dont think too high of yourself here

2. 99% of people will smile back. its an act of politeness. like if you give someone a hand for an handshake and the other person refuses to takes it. its irritating

3. when you didnt smile back she doesnt dislike you, she just thinks you are an unpolite, arrogant? weirdo who cant follow basic rules of social interaction. besides it just a shitty job for her and all she can think about is too get home asap

4. how can you expect people to be treated polite and nice if you dont do it yourself?

 

[Rollo]

nope

1. she works there. its EXPECTED from her to smile to EVERYONE not just you.so dont think too high of yourself here

2. 99% of people will smile back. its an act of politeness. like if you give someone a hand for an handshake and the other person refuses to takes it. its irritating

3. when you didnt smile back she doesnt dislike you, she just thinks you are an unpolite, arrogant? weirdo who cant follow basic rules of social interaction

4. how can you expect people to be treated polite and nice if you dont do it yourself?

Yeap

1. It's not expected from her to smile to everyone. Many of them don't and I'm totally cool with that. And even if it was expected - that's her own problem that she's too weak to act how she really feels and not how others are forcing her. In any case like I said I only smile when I feel like smiling, so if you or her don't like it - tough shit. It will take much more than just a bitch being a bitch to break my spirit.

2. I don't give a fuck even if 99.99999999% will smile back. Although in reality the figure is much lower than what you quoted. And it's not like a handshake. When somebody gives me hand for a handshake, once again if I don't feel like shaking it I won't. Like when some random guy offers me his hand for no reason or I don't like the guy. But if I'm cool with you and you have some reason to meet me - I will shake your hand. Just like greeting people. Basicly I do what I want and being reasonably polite is part of it. But compulsively smiling back sure as hell isn't.

3. Ofcourse she disliked me. Just like you're disliking me right now and calling me names. When you think of somebody as 'unpolite' and 'arrogant' or call them 'weirdo' - it's disliking them. And I wasn't arrogant either. In fact it's her being arrogant in thinking I exist to fulfil her desires and smile at her.

4. I don't expect to be treated politely and nicely. You can treat me however you wish. And I reserve the same right. I don't consider it impolite when somebody doesn't smile back at me. Just cause I don't really smile to elicit smiling. I smile only as a manifestation of me being happy.

Are YOU able to switch positions?

 

[ctoan]

@Rollo

look man...a normal person would have acted differently. they just would have smiled back without thinking twice. they wouldnt even invest energy into thinking about it - they have something better to do with their time.

personally i would have smilled back because its super low effort for me and highers the chances that i get treated better - which maximise my utility/benefits. i would just be straight stupid to not do it considering the reward to effort ratio

and why should you have a reason not to smile back? yes you dont know the person so she did nothing wrong to you?

mostly the people who are bitter and misanthropic are people who got bullied or wronged or whatever in their past and no project their anger on other person they dont even know. which will cause these person to react as they expected them to react. a selffulfilling prophecy. and in the end they will only harm themself. they will miss oportunities. they stresses themself about unimportant occassions. they get bitter. they flood their body with cortisol.

i can garantuee you one thing. you still remember this occassion...she will already have forgotten you a long time ago

 

[Rollo]

@Rollo

look man...a normal person would have acted differently. they just would have smiled back without thinking twice. they wouldnt even invest energy into thinking about it - they have something better to do with their time.

personally i would have smilled back because its super low effort for me and highers the chances that i get treated better - which maximise my utility/benefits. i would just be straight stupid to not do it considering the reward to effort ratio

and why should you have a reason not to smile back? yes you dont know the person so she did nothing wrong to you?

mostly the people who are bitter and misanthropic are people who got bullied or wronged or whatever in their past and no project their anger on other person they dont even know. which will cause these person to react as they expected them to react. a selffulfilling prophecy. and in the end they will only harm themself. they will miss oportunities. they stresses themself about unimportant occassions. they get bitter. they flood their body with cortisol.

i can garantuee you one thing. you still remember this occassion...she will already have forgotten you a long time ago

Well in North Korea normal person would cry his eyes out when Kim Jong Il died. Normal doesn't equal healthy. And it's only healthy behaviour I'm interested in. So unlike yourself I don't think twice about NOT smiling back. Smiling is very important, it's ultimate expression of happiness. And my happiness is not your backyard.

You on the other hand is faking your feelings and expressions, faking happiness - so that you elicit some benefit. So that others treat you better as you're saying. Which is highly unhealthy, and I personally without thinking twice would rather die than live like you. So for me benefit here is quite big as you may imagine.

I already explained why I don't smile back several times. So it's kinda funny you still asking 'why should you have a reson not to smile back, she didn't do anything to you'. It's not about her doing anything to me, it's about me never smiling unless I'm naturally happy. Which is the only true way for me. I'm not asking you to smile at me either.

You're saying about bitterness - yet it's you who started to get nasty with me when you learned about my position. And I'm not bitter about her either. But she fucked with me. Everyone who fucks with me - I will hit them back one way or another. I don't care whether you believe I should smile back, or dress proper, or hold some views - if you wish to punish me for it then you're hater who is assaulting me and as such you gonna be due handled. Not because I'm angry at you, I don't believe in anger, but because I treat people based on how they treat me. That's the only way. For me that is.

I don't care if she forgot about it or not. It's an interesting episode in my life so ofcourse I remember it. Here it was relevant so I talked about it. Not because I'm bitter or angry at her. But if I ever have the chance to pay her back - I will. And if me and her are starving and I got a piece of bread - you better believe I'm eating the whole damn thing )

 

[ctoan]

Well in North Korea normal person would cry his eyes out when Kim Jong Il died. Normal doesn't equal healthy. And it's only healthy behaviour I'm interested in. So unlike yourself I don't think twice about NOT smiling back. Smiling is very important, it's ultimate expression of happiness. And my happiness is not your backyard.

You on the other hand is faking your feelings and expressions, faking happiness - so that you elicit some benefit. So that others treat you better as you're saying. Which is highly unhealthy, and I personally without thinking twice would rather die than live like you. So for me benefit here is quite big as you may imagine.

I already explained why I don't smile back several times. So it's kinda funny you still asking 'why should you have a reson not to smile back, she didn't do anything to you'. It's not about her doing anything to me, it's about me never smiling unless I'm naturally happy. Which is the only true way for me. I'm not asking you to smile at me either.

You're saying about bitterness - yet it's you who started to get nasty with me when you learned about my position. And I'm not bitter about her either. But she fucked with me. Everyone who fucks with me - I will hit them back one way or another. I don't care whether you believe I should smile back, or dress proper, or hold some views - if you wish to punish me for it then you're hater who is assaulting me and as such you gonna be due handled. Not because I'm angry at you, I don't believe in anger, but because I treat people based on how they treat me. That's the only way. For me that is.

I don't care if she forgot about it or not. It's an interesting episode in my life so ofcourse I remember it. Here it was relevant so I talked about it. Not because I'm bitter or angry at her. But if I ever have the chance to pay her back - I will. And if me and her are starving and I got a piece of bread - you better believe I'm eating the whole damn thing )

"pay her back"

jesus christ man, she doesnt even remember you anymore and you write something like this?


do you even realise how you sound?


also

"I don't believe in anger"

" if I ever have the chance to pay her back - I will"


lol



and

"But she fucked with me."

because she smiled to you like to every other customer?

lol.



so much negative energy. so much bitterness. look how much energy you waste for that shit.





its just very irrational behavior of you, eg a rational psychopath would have smiled. i dont understand you. for me its just stupid. but okay its your life..

 

[Rollo]

"pay her back"

jesus christ man, she doesnt even remember you anymore and you write something like this?


do you even realise how you sound?

"But she fucked with me."

because she smiled to you like to every other customer?

lol.

I don't care how it sound man. And why would I care how a 'rational psycopath' would act? He's psycopath, so he's unhealthy by definition. All of it rational. It's just you can't wrap your head around the fact that my priorities are different from yours. I'm not scared of ill treatment. And I will never fake happiness to avoid it.

It doesn't matter if she remembers it or not. I mean if I bully the shit out of you - would it matter to you if I remember it or not? Or is that you don't believe in giving people back their change? So that anyone can put you down and you wan't talk back? I think you're simply being hypocritical here cause you agree with her sentiment.
And you need to pay attention. I greeted her, she smiled at me (not even a usual smile - a very playful one), then I didn't smile back and then she proceeded to fuck with me during my session. Just was extremely rude, raised her voice etc. If you ever were treated like shit by somebody who despises you - you know how it goes.

And how do you know if she smiles to every other customer or not - you just pulling this stuff out of thin air.

I don't have to be angry to hit somebody back. Agression doesn't equal anger.

And I'm not wasting any energy - I want to respond you hence it's what I do. It's you who's displaying all the negative energy. Just like her you don't like people who don't smile at you and you believe they're worthy of being disrespected and put down. So it's you guys who are on assault here. Not me. I'm merely being me.

 

[ctoan]

nah you are highly contradicting yourself. and while you still hold a grudge against her and flood your body with cortisol she has forgotten about you a long time ago and dont burden herself with that kind of shit

"(not even a usual smile - a very playful one"

"And how do you know if she smiles to every other customer or not - you just pulling this stuff out of thin air."

oh did it hurt your ego?

im curious why is it important to you that it was a special smile just for you? what are you indicating?

normally people who work with customer smile all the time. during college i worked in sales part time and i smilled at people all the time, young, old, female or male. people who work at stores, customer service etc are told to smile at customers aswell ...and the list goes on...easy psychology

"Just like her you don't like people who don't smile at you and you believe they're worthy of being disrespected and put down. So it's you guys who are on assault here. Not me. I'm merely being me."

i just think you are stupid. you dont know how humans work and to use this for your own advantage. smiling doesnt cost anything but can give you benefits so where is the problem except your ego?

and i neither like you nor dislike you. you are too unimportant for that. you dont affect my life. whether you would kill yourself tommorow or win the lottery...both things wouldnt bother me