Venting No future for me, don't tell me there is one.

[suicidalaspiefemale]

military family. i attempted suicide two years back. i'm a lesbian, my parents are homophobic, my dad doesn't believe in me, i hate myself, i have chronic depression, i have low self worth, i've wanted to kill myself a long time ago., i have anxiety, aspergers, and untreated ADHD. my life is worthless. Because of my suicide attempt that led to me being hospitalized, i may not be able to move to Korea with my family. if i do, i won't be able to apply for a job on post. i just wait for the day i can be happy. i can't deal with my mistakes anymore.
i sell nudes to earn cash so i can buy some shit to fuckin help me cope with all the days i want to fuckin end it already
every day is another day i live to see my mistakes fuckin with my life.
it's all hell. hell. hell. hell.
i've been thru so much fuckin pain it's fuckin insane
whoever advocates against suicide has never had suicidal thoughts themselves.
i've never won in my life, and I don't want to deal with any further disappointment.

 

[one4all]

@suicidalaspiefemale I feel there is a future for you. Maybe not in this world though.

 

[suicidalaspiefemale]

@suicidalaspiefemale I feel there is a future for you. Maybe not in this world though.

was about to be pissed, but then I read the second sentence and remembered that there are not a lot of self-righteous cunts on this site.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I am so sorry for your suffering. I wish I could help you.

 

[one4all]

was about to be pissed, but then I read the second sentence and remembered that there are not a lot of self-righteous cunts on this site.

I'm glad you read the whole post. Not reading a few things in a post can really through off your perspective of it.
I

thank you.. emotional support and/or bitcoin donations are completely welcome.

No pity fuck?

 

[suicidalaspiefemale]

I'm glad you read the whole post. Not reading a few things in a post can really through off your perspective of it.
I


No pity fuck?

I'd prefer bitcoin

 

[one4all]

EDIT: I need someone to walk me through the suicide process... I know I sound shitty or whatever saying this, I'm trying to scramble around and earn/take donations in bitcoin to buy some nembutal. My bigger problem is trying to get the money for the nembutal, I don't know where the hell to buy it. please, PLEASE let me know if you can help in any way. I'd insert the Bernie Sanders meme but I'm lazy as shit.

Have you looked at the PPH, the Resource pages and searched threads?
Alot of info is there. See what works for you, not other people. Then ask more specific questions about things.

 

[suicidalaspiefemale]

Have you looked at the PPH, the Resource pages and searched threads?
Alot of info is there

I'm stupid, I'd feel better if someone were there to help me.

 

[one4all]

Good luck. I'm not your Huckleberry

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I'm stupid, I'd feel better if someone were there to help me.

You're not too stupid to figure out bitcoins, you can do it. See the list of methods on the Resources Compilation, you're smart enough.

 

[jgm63]

PM-ed you some info.....

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

military family. i attempted suicide two years back. i'm a lesbian, my parents are homophobic, my dad doesn't believe in me, i hate myself, i have chronic depression, i have low self worth, i've wanted to kill myself a long time ago., i have anxiety, aspergers, and untreated ADHD. my life is worthless. Because of my suicide attempt that led to me being hospitalized, i may not be able to move to Korea with my family. if i do, i won't be able to apply for a job on post. i just wait for the day i can be happy. i can't deal with my mistakes anymore.
i sell nudes to earn cash so i can buy some shit to fuckin help me cope with all the days i want to fuckin end it already
every day is another day i live to see my mistakes fuckin with my life.
it's all hell. hell. hell. hell.
i've been thru so much fuckin pain it's fuckin insane
whoever advocates against suicide has never had suicidal thoughts themselves.
i've never won in my life, and I don't want to deal with any further disappointment.

I feel you brother, no future here, I hope you find peace and hope to see you wherever we go (:

 

[faust]

You're not too stupid to figure out bitcoins, you can do it. See the list of methods on the Resources Compilation, you're smart enough.

There was one guy who has always been called stupid, but in 2012 he purchased bitcoins because he found that funny and sold in 2017. It is obvious that those who were calling him stupid are still working 10-12 hours a day...
@suicidalaspiefemale Please, do not call yourself stupid, you are not.

 

[suicidalaspiefemale]

There was one guy who has always been called stupid, but in 2012 he purchased bitcoins because he found that funny and sold in 2017. It is obvious that those who were calling him stupid are still working 10-12 hours a day...
@suicidalaspiefemale Please, do not call yourself stupid, you are not.

I meant, like, the nembutal situation. i know about btc.

 

[faust]

I meant, like, the nembutal situation. i know about btc.

Whoever you are, I wish you find your peace

 

[suicidalaspiefemale]

Whoever you are, I wish you find your peace

thank you... you don't hope that i LIVE.. you hope that I find peace.

 

[faust]

thank you... you don't hope that i LIVE.. you hope that I find peace.

That depends only on your decision, dear! Some people find peace while living, some only dying. I did not mean you don't have to live. I just find a bit sad to wish a person to live who is desperate. To live such a life? No, everybody deserves a better life or a peaceful death

 

[ImSoTired]

military family. i attempted suicide two years back. i'm a lesbian, my parents are homophobic, my dad doesn't believe in me, i hate myself, i have chronic depression, i have low self worth, i've wanted to kill myself a long time ago., i have anxiety, aspergers, and untreated ADHD. my life is worthless. Because of my suicide attempt that led to me being hospitalized, i may not be able to move to Korea with my family. if i do, i won't be able to apply for a job on post. i just wait for the day i can be happy. i can't deal with my mistakes anymore.
i sell nudes to earn cash so i can buy some shit to fuckin help me cope with all the days i want to fuckin end it already
every day is another day i live to see my mistakes fuckin with my life.
it's all hell. hell. hell. hell.
i've been thru so much fuckin pain it's fuckin insane
whoever advocates against suicide has never had suicidal thoughts themselves.
i've never won in my life, and I don't want to deal with any further disappointment.

I swear to god you just quoted my life...

 

[suicidalaspiefemale]

I swear to god you just quoted my life...

we should be friends.