Newbie

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

So I'm new here but not new to this.
I've been depressed as long as I can remember.
Depression and Passing Away thoughts have been my constant and consistent Family and home.
She'll never leave me
I prefer to say Passing away instead of S.
Lately I've been really sad and angry about opportunities I've missed trying to pass away.
But one that haunts me most is why did I not try during the Pandemic.
It was the perfect opportunity but I didn't.
I remember thinking for a second
Mi Mi you're going to regret not trying.
Well 3 yrs later and I do.
It's all I think about.
I crave it.
I desire it.
I want it more than anything.
I know I'm not the only one but it feels like I'm the only one.
I'm screaming and crying on the inside because I'm Trapped in a world I don't belong and doesn't deserve me.
The crazy thoughts that go through my mind.
I work in a casino...I often pray for a active shooter to come in and pop me first.
I get jealous when I hear on the news how a innocent person was taken..wishing it was me instead because they didn't deserve to pass that way.
Praying to God to please not wake me on earth but in heaven.
I used to dream about love and friendship and family.
Now all I want is a quiet, peaceful, painless quick Passing.
NoOneLovesMiMi

 

[MusicEnjoyer:D]

You deserve peace and tranquility. Existence is really painful for those of us who suffer from depression. Here you will find a lot of people going through similar struggles.

 

[NoOneLovesMiMi]

You deserve peace and tranquility. Existence is really painful for those of us who suffer from depression. Here you will find a lot of people going through similar struggles.

Thankyou

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it's true that not everyone is meant to exist in this cruel, hellish world, it's the reality that the only relief lies in being permanently free from everything and it does sound so tiring what you've had to endure. I hope that you eventually find freedom from all the suffering, it's really understandable just wishing to pass away peacefully, such a thing sounds so incredibly ideal to me, I really envy those who no longer exist here.