Venting New Year's Resolutions When You Have Barely Any Sense Of Identity

[NormallyNeurotic]

I want to move on in life. I almost CTB in 2024. But like... what do I do?

Pretty sure the guy who I'm in love with wants nothing to do with me (my fault, definitely, but I don't think I'll ever move on so I'm settling for a life without love).

My disabilities, mental AND physical are getting worse. I've been discovering more and more horrific trauma that I wasn't aware of and it's happening to fast to come to terms with but also not fast enough to put a face to the monster.

I'm in a semi-abusive situation, with very little support too.

I guess maybe... I could put a New Year's Resolution to finally get to the bottom of the trauma. My therapist is a hypnotherapist and specializes in DID so it may be possible if we make a plan. Because this is eating me away bit by bit and I don't know what will be left.

I could also make some sort of gender-related New Year's Resolution. Chase gender euphoria more often. Be more unapologetically trans and queer? I could start to exercise and lift small weights again. The only issue would be managing my eating disorder.

I could make some sort of art related one, music, singing, or drawing, encourage myself to draw more? My art block has sucked, maybe I should find a way to mitigate that in the long run? Get to a point where I can do commissions for money? I've also been wanting to learn to animate better. Maybe I can work on that and see how my animating started at the beginning of 2025 versus the end next year.

There's so little I know about myself. I feel like putting medical gender affirming care and/or training in things that will help for my future career in theatre I want to pursue are dumb to put as a resolution given how low income we are right now.

I guess my question is... does it have to be one thing? What do I pick? How specific? How do I manage it? I honestly don't remember if I've ever had one! But I want to try. Any advice?

 

[Life_and_Death]

I guess my question is... does it have to be one thing? What do I pick? How specific? How do I manage it? I honestly don't remember if I've ever had one! But I want to try. Any advice?

it can be anything you want. i even saw a fb post about it being funny or something (i cant recall).

personally, i wouldnt make it too specific or too high of a goal. it seems most people fail those by putting expectations too high.
personally last year my resolution was really basic. just be here. dont die basically.
i cant suggest anything specific, im not sure what would work for you, but i really think that basic and general instead of hard and specific helps and makes the chances of doing it more likely.
and no it doesnt have to be 1 thing although i would worry about the mental stress with trying to keep up with more than 1. but whatever works for you

example, people will put pressure to go to the gym, or start a diet when maybe "treat my body better" might be a better option

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

Update: I think I'm going to learn to properly animate. I suck at frame-by-frame, so I'll add that to my repertoire alongside the "tweening." Nothing too intensive yet, just little things.