Venting New Years Eve

[diytopsurgery]

I'm alone. For new years. I expected it to be honest, I'm kinda a pity friend. But I didn't think it would hurt this much.

I'm at home. My dad is on his laptop. My mom is drunk upstairs. My sister is holed up in her room as usual.

I feel sick. Everyone tells me that next year will be my fastest year yet. It will all be worth it after next year. I'll go to college. I'll make new friends.

I don't really want to. I think I might ctb in June, so at least I can give my classmates a better grade in their exams.

Until then. I'll be on here. The only place and people I can talk to.

 

[PrisonPlanetBreak]

I am sorry about how you feel. I am at home as well, with my mom. It feels bad, but I'm also not into parties, and I hate staying up late in the night, since that's when my mind has more time to wander. I always go to sleep at 1AM or so on New Year's Eve, after I pretend for a bit that I am excited for another year, after hearing exactly this... every single year:
​

Everyone tells me that next year will be my fastest year yet. It will all be worth it after next year.​

But it never really changes.... and it becomes tiring to hear it every year, when I know nothing will change, and the new year is just as worthless as the last.​

 

[Mirrory Me]

Yes, sometimes you can understandably feel lonely even when others are around. I hope the coming year will go better than you expected - I'm looking forward to it myself, even if it brings new challenges.

 

[diytopsurgery]

I am sorry about how you feel. I am at home as well, with my mom. It feels bad, but I'm also not into parties, and I hate staying up late in the night, since that's when my mind has more time to wander. I always go to sleep at 1AM or so on New Year's Eve, after I pretend for a bit that I am excited for another year, after hearing exactly this... every single year:


But it never really changes.... and it becomes tiring to hear it every year, when I know nothing will change, and the new year is just as worthless as the last.​

Thank you, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I'll most likely sleep before the countdown- staying up will only depress me.

Yes, sometimes you can understandably feel lonely even when others are around. I hope the coming year will go better than you expected - I'm looking forward to it myself, even if it brings new challenges.

Thank you for your reply :) I hope your New Year goes as well as you hope

 

[Zebulon]

This new years eve it the worst for me so far. Partly because I didnt expect to make it to the end. And would be the first where I dont watch the fireworks
But I did a coinflip with another user and the coin said its time to see the fireworks. Lets see how my mood is after that

 

[GhostKing714]

I am very similar to you. I was so very lonely when I was in HS, I literally only had two friends and I never went out to parties not even to the mall alone because my parents would not let me. I though uni would be the solution to all my problems. I could finally leave my parents behind, as I moved abroad, and I could finally be who I wanted to be and have friends and be happy. Turns out I'm shit no matter where I am. I lost all my friends by the end of my second year, some because I had a fall-out with one of them and they all took his side and some others were never my friends to begin with; I went abroad for my third year, which was fun but it was only a temporary thing I lost all connection with the people there because we are so far now and sadly we were never that close; and now in my fourth year I tried to piece back my life only to come to terms with the fact that I'm basically trying to start again right at the end.

Long story short, as I realise I rambled a bit haha, uni does not magically fix your life, and there is no guarantee that it will make you happy. I was in the same spot as you four year ago, I wanted to ctb and I was going to do it on my 18th birthday in July. I didn't because I got into uni and thought that would solve everything, but four years later I'm in the same, even worse now, spot. So I'll just tell that you should not listen to what others say and if you think that ctb is the way, then you should do it, no matter what others say because they can never truly understand what you feel and go through.

 

[SmollMushroom]

I'm alone. For new years. I expected it to be honest, I'm kinda a pity friend. But I didn't think it would hurt this much.

I'm at home. My dad is on his laptop. My mom is drunk upstairs. My sister is holed up in her room as usual.

I feel sick. Everyone tells me that next year will be my fastest year yet. It will all be worth it after next year. I'll go to college. I'll make new friends.

I don't really want to. I think I might ctb in June, so at least I can give my classmates a better grade in their exams.

Until then. I'll be on here. The only place and people I can talk to.

I'm on the same boat... I've spent new years eve with my family at home many times, but this year it's even worse... Well I wouldn't be spending it on a suicide forum if it weren't, I guess hehe...
But yeah, jokes asides, things have only gone downhill the past years for me. I wish things will improve for you and your family tho. You should celebrate all together!

 

[Zebulon]

Update:
I was outside and it went better than expected. I needed to wait, till there where no more families in the hallway, so I dont need to talk to them. Then I went to a bridge and yeah, sucked that I was the only one standing alone and everyone else was happy. BUT the fireworks were nice.
On my way back I saw a dude from my university and needed to akwardly avoid talking to him, because no way I can say that I'm spending New Years alone. Ill get memed to death for that.

 

[diytopsurgery]

Clock just struck 12 by me. I got up to go talk to my dad but he went to bed without me noticing. At least we got to talk about new years on here? That's all I'm holding onto right now.

 

[Zebulon]

The new years talk on here was really wholesome in a way (?). Just so you know that you arent alone with your suffering.
Thanks to that I could finally make the purchase for some RC opioids. Lets hope its the real deal, so I wont have to suffer another year.

 

[BBBB]

I'm home alone too.

 

[reiII]

happy new years, diytopsurgery! :DDD i really like your username and status.
i am alone too. like you though, alone with people all around me. but i have the best wishes for your year to come. i hope that's not too sappy. i think i just wish i had someone to spend it with. i also have a bias for lain.

 

[diytopsurgery]

happy new years, diytopsurgery! :DDD i really like your username and status.
i am alone too. like you though, alone with people all around me. but i have the best wishes for your year to come. i hope that's not too sappy. i think i just wish i had someone to spend it with. i also have a bias for lain.

Happy New Year's to you, too! I hope you feel a little less alone having us on here :) being alone surrounded by people sucks. It's the weirdest thing that I can never explain to ppl IRL. I'm always open to chat if you need!

Also thanks! Lain is the most relatable character ever imho. Great to see a fellow fan in the wild <3