New here

[rattenkrieg]

Hi all.

I became depressed three months ago after losing my job due to a drug-induced manic episode. I've started Zoloft and rn at the highest dose it's still not helping. I spend all day in bed in the dark and reading this forum has given me some solace. Suicidal ideation began recently and I came here, but I find myself reading the recovery forum more than the other one.

I'm comforted by the option to CTB but I feel like I'll never go through with it because of fear. Anyone else feel similar? Also I guess things could get better after all, although it's very hard to see through depression tinted eyes.

I wish you all peace and good health, mental and physical.

 

[western_heart]

Welcome!

I'm comforted by the option to CTB but I feel like I'll never go through with it because of fear. Anyone else feel similar?

that's how I used to feel, perhaps a decade ago, but over time my defenses wore down. I denied being suicidal to myself even as I was visualizing my own death and coming up with methods. It's only within the last year that I have admitted to being suicidal

 

[rattenkrieg]

Welcome!


that's how I used to feel, perhaps a decade ago, but over time my defenses wore down. I denied being suicidal to myself even as I was visualizing my own death and coming up with methods. It's only within the last year that I have admitted to being suicidal

Thank you. It's hard to admit that you're suicidal, passively or not. I hope you're in a better place nowadays.

 

[gogoprince]

It's so hard to see positive things when depression colors your perception. It shows a lot of strength that you can have optimism despite all that you've suffered through.

I hope, if you're new to having suicidal thoughts, you can balance your time spent here with time spent on more positive forums. It's nice to know that you can be honest here about suicide without feeling judged, but this place can be a real bummer sometimes.

Good luck on your mental health recovery.

 

[GZ6W_DAmtgo]

I didn't expect this either, but this forum is a very comforting place most of the time. Best wishes to you. :)

 

[Ashu]

I'm curious about your user name: "war of rats"?

 

[rattenkrieg]

I'm curious about your user name: "war of rats"?

It's a name for the "style" of combat in Stalingrad, the major world war 2 battle. Fighting in destroyed buildings, underground tunnels, etc.