New here. SN & info needed

[44nutz1977]

Hi folks.

I am in my early 40s. UK based. New here.

I know enough and thought enough to know that my option is now a one way ticket. This decision has not come lightly. After many many nervous breakdowns and trying so very hard I know what to do. And how to do it. But I cannot access one thing as easily as I would like. Peaceful book was informative and helped.

Alcoholic here. I relapsed in July 2021 after nearly 4 years sobriety. Stupidly I attempted to end whilst very drunk August 2021.

My plan has been there for several months. Letters written. Korea method and benzos.
I failed. Amazingly no one found out. It was late night when I went to a forest close y and tried.

I simply woke up on my bed and my housemate did not know either. I went back to the forest and found my glasses and bottle I drunk. Went back home and literally slept for 2 days solid. No harm done.

My memory of the event is blurred. I presumably vomited and made my way home. I attempted this in a nearby forest.
The plan was NOT to fail. Clearly no one should attempt this whilst drunk.

I am sober again and very clear. I need an extra third 'thing' to end peacefully and quickly.

So I am looking for SN. Recently I see a celebrity used. Though press stated that was 'ate' not 'ite'.

After looking for places to buy SN .... I am fearful. It clearly isn't straight forward. I see one UK site that does a 'check'... but I could phone them and explain it is for business use. But then they may want business numbers, more proof..

Everywhere seems to do a business 'check' of some kind.

Next time I will not fail and will attempt sober and very very organised.

Can anyone advise SN purchase for UK.
Right now it seems like that important third ingredient for one I decide to follow through properly and safely.

Thank you.

Can I say to any younger person out there... This is not preaching. But leaving young, in my opinion, is a tragedy. Press on into your 20s if you can.. keep trying to keep on.

That pain you feel can pass. It has come and gone for me. My mid 20s were painful. 30s pure madness... yet also fruitful. My 30s went SO fast and my 40s every single day has been agonising. Living in hell right now due to personal living circumstances too.

My point is make sure you are sure.

Right now I am100% certain. I hope no one here goes without being 100% certain either.

 

[lostmyhope86]

also if somebody want share source for sn you can't receive pm right now. Your account must be 24h old and have 7 to 10 post.
after you unlock the pm you must try to contact somebody he received sn to uk

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

That pain you feel can pass. It has come and gone for me. My mid 20s were painful. 30s pure madness... yet also fruitful. My 30s went SO fast and my 40s every single day has been agonising. Living in hell right now due to personal living circumstances too.

Can you give a quick rundown of your 20s? What made you think they were fruitful?

 

[44nutz1977]

also if somebody want share source for sn you can't receive pm right now. Your account must be 24h old and have 7 to 10 post.
after you unlock the pm you must try to contact somebody he received sn to uk

Thanks for info. It's crucial I don't get the SN stopped by authorities somehow...
That's my Main concern. Or raising suspicion to the person I love with.

I am still considering phoning one website in the UK and ask them. Give them the notion I want to use it for curing meat. I am not working right now but have years of chef experience.

I cannot provide any business documents at all and I bet thats what they need.

Can you give a quick rundown of your 20s? What made you think they were fruitful?

My 20s... Amazing time. I lived in Edinburgh. Just moved to a big city. Discovered sex (lots of it) as a gay man. Relationship. That was ultimately love/hate. Plus I was stalked.
My panic attacks and depression had me off work for just over one year when I was 23. I returned to work. There is a point when not working becomes... You get stuck. Depression can stick you. And you become isolated. Alone.

I returned to work and tried again. I had to resign from the job due to alcoholism and a gambling addiction. My ex partner turned psycho. I realised he was partly stalking me and shit turned bad.

My panic attacks were constant daily. Yet I was drinking to ease the panic.

I was on a merry-go-round of drinking to stop panic ... But withdrawl from alcohol brought even more panic.

I went to college when I was 26yrs old. Went back home to love with my mum. My dad died when I was 17. My mum ... Was a bit toxic for me. Loved her but she was too busy with her own very toxic boyfriend relationship.

Got a degree as a pro chef. Only just.... My college were very supportive as I needed time off with depression. But I just managed to pass. Actually getting an A+ degree HNC in pro cooking. I moved to England after meeting a lovely man. Things looked positive in my late 20s!
But depression kept hitting me. My mum passed in 2010. That was very toxic fell out with my family. She left nothing but debt.

Since 2010.... Life has been up and down. Every time I get somewhere my depression gets me. I managed to get a grip on alcoholism. I understand my problems there. Fully.
A.A. helped a lot.

But the past five years after trying so very hard the pain is unbearable. It's clear I have done my thing on Earth. I have done what I wanted. I absolutely do not have the desire or energy to rebuild. I don't want to be here. Humanity is crazy as fuck. I don't want to be a part of it. This has been a long thought out process.

In my 40s now... I mentioned younger people should really try their utmost ... Fight the demons .. I understand the complexities of mental illness. I certainly understand mine. It has beaten me now. I accept that.

Sleep is no longer a safe place. I dream lucidly. I always have. My dream state is one of hell and anxiety. I wake teeth gnashed. I have to wear a mouthguard. It takes at least an hour to exit the dream nightmare state. Then I spend the rest of the day... Still on constant dread and ... That's it. No more. I could list all the things I have tried. What I have done to want to live. I have tried much more than many. I have given it my all.

 

[Cheers]

You can find chemicals providers (including of sn) from abroad on alibaba, it's legit and i'm pretty sure it ships to the uk. The only downside is that most of the time you can't buy less than a kilo...

 

[44nutz1977]

A kilo is a LOT.

But I am willing to try any route that is safe.

 

[44nutz1977]

Still hoping for guidance about buying SN. Safely as possible.

 

[Cheers]

A kilo is a LOT.

Yeah, i don't know what i'm gonna do with all that but well, now i got room to fail a whole bunch of times i guess!

 

[44nutz1977]

I have been given a site for SN with the words 'cuisine' in the title. Based in Canada.
Can anyone confirm if this is legit? At around $59 ... It's a lot of money for me. The 59 will not even include shipping.

I wish there was just a place in the UK but it seems so difficult now.

Thanks all. Any help much appreciated. It will be peaceful for me just to have it. For when the time and day is right.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Based in Canada.

Based is right.

 

[Dot]

I have been given a site for SN with the words 'cuisine' in the title. Based in Canada.
Can anyone confirm if this is legit? At around $59 ... It's a lot of money for me. The 59 will not even include shipping.

I wish there was just a place in the UK but it seems so difficult now.

Thanks all. Any help much appreciated. It will be peaceful for me just to have it. For when the time and day is right.

Legit and tested by other users.

 

[44nutz1977]

Legit and tested by other users.

Ok thanks very much folks. I will have enough money next benefit day (times are damn tough) so shall try ordering 2nd Nov. That's a lot of money 60 dollars plus whatever they charge for shipping. But if it's safe and makes it here without trouble that's good with me.

It will be good just having it. Knowing I can use it when the day comes.

 

[Rational man]

Thanks for info. It's crucial I don't get the SN stopped by authorities somehow...
That's my Main concern. Or raising suspicion to the person I love with.

I am still considering phoning one website in the UK and ask them. Give them the notion I want to use it for curing meat. I am not working right now but have years of chef experience.

I cannot provide any business documents at all and I bet thats what they need.

My 20s... Amazing time. I lived in Edinburgh. Just moved to a big city. Discovered sex (lots of it) as a gay man. Relationship. That was ultimately love/hate. Plus I was stalked.
My panic attacks and depression had me off work for just over one year when I was 23. I returned to work. There is a point when not working becomes... You get stuck. Depression can stick you. And you become isolated. Alone.

I returned to work and tried again. I had to resign from the job due to alcoholism and a gambling addiction. My ex partner turned psycho. I realised he was partly stalking me and shit turned bad.

My panic attacks were constant daily. Yet I was drinking to ease the panic.

I was on a merry-go-round of drinking to stop panic ... But withdrawl from alcohol brought even more panic.

I went to college when I was 26yrs old. Went back home to love with my mum. My dad died when I was 17. My mum ... Was a bit toxic for me. Loved her but she was too busy with her own very toxic boyfriend relationship.

Got a degree as a pro chef. Only just.... My college were very supportive as I needed time off with depression. But I just managed to pass. Actually getting an A+ degree HNC in pro cooking. I moved to England after meeting a lovely man. Things looked positive in my late 20s!
But depression kept hitting me. My mum passed in 2010. That was very toxic fell out with my family. She left nothing but debt.

Since 2010.... Life has been up and down. Every time I get somewhere my depression gets me. I managed to get a grip on alcoholism. I understand my problems there. Fully.
A.A. helped a lot.

But the past five years after trying so very hard the pain is unbearable. It's clear I have done my thing on Earth. I have done what I wanted. I absolutely do not have the desire or energy to rebuild. I don't want to be here. Humanity is crazy as fuck. I don't want to be a part of it. This has been a long thought out process.

In my 40s now... I mentioned younger people should really try their utmost ... Fight the demons .. I understand the complexities of mental illness. I certainly understand mine. It has beaten me now. I accept that.

Sleep is no longer a safe place. I dream lucidly. I always have. My dream state is one of hell and anxiety. I wake teeth gnashed. I have to wear a mouthguard. It takes at least an hour to exit the dream nightmare state. Then I spend the rest of the day... Still on constant dread and ... That's it. No more. I could list all the things I have tried. What I have done to want to live. I have tried much more than many. I have given it my all.

Profound words. Thanks for sharing❤

 

[44nutz1977]

I am going to order from the 'cuisine' site next week. This is such a big deal for me and expensive. Can anyone else vouch for this site in Canada? It's costing 60 dollars. Based UK here.

Also, finally. I only have omeprazole here. Which after looking is not strictly an 'antiemitic'..
I now realise getting an antiemetic is fucking difficult. It's all I need! SN from a guaranteed source and I suppose now... An antiemetic. Maybe omeprazole will be ok but I must be sure to do this right. No failing.

 

[Eternity04]

I am going to order from the 'cuisine' site next week. This is such a big deal for me and expensive. Can anyone else vouch for this site in Canada? It's costing 60 dollars. Based UK here.

Also, finally. I only have omeprazole here. Which after looking is not strictly an 'antiemitic'..
I now realise getting an antiemetic is fucking difficult. It's all I need! SN from a guaranteed source and I suppose now... An antiemetic. Maybe omeprazole will be ok but I must be sure to do this right. No failing.

Good luck

 

[Dot]

I am going to order from the 'cuisine' site next week. This is such a big deal for me and expensive. Can anyone else vouch for this site in Canada? It's costing 60 dollars. Based UK here.

Also, finally. I only have omeprazole here. Which after looking is not strictly an 'antiemitic'..
I now realise getting an antiemetic is fucking difficult. It's all I need! SN from a guaranteed source and I suppose now... An antiemetic. Maybe omeprazole will be ok but I must be sure to do this right. No failing.

Ctb with IC sn yday
See Stans Guide in resource section for info on Anti-Es

 

[44nutz1977]

Ctb with IC sn yday
See Stans Guide in resource section for info on Anti-Es

Just tried to get an anti emitics from my GP.

But failed. I am suffering with migraines anyway so I didn't have to make up a story.
I gnash my teeth during the night and wake up BAD every morning with a headache and more. My teeth enamel is weak due to years of alcohol abuse plus my gums receedng. So I use a mouthguard at night that doesn't help much.

Anyway ... I asked my GP about something to help with headache and morning nausea.
but got I paranoid about specifically mentioning antiemitics. I am on other meds and he (nor I) really want to take anymore.

But I DO (must) have an antiemitic.

I didn't want to raise suspicion with my GP by naming pills in Stan's guide. My GP has now prescribed me amitriptyline... Which I don't want! It might help my headaches and bad nerves in the morning. but I don't want more pills for my nerves... Fuck sake.

Does this mean I have to search the internet for yet another black market pill? Looks like it. Just for an antiemitic?

Feeling fucking angry.

 

[Dot]

Just tried to get an anti emitics from my GP.

But failed. I am suffering with migraines anyway so I didn't have to make up a story.
I gnash my teeth during the night and wake up BAD every morning with a headache and more. My teeth enamel is weak due to years of alcohol abuse plus my gums receedng. So I use a mouthguard at night that doesn't help much.

Anyway ... I asked my GP about something to help with headache and morning nausea.
but got I paranoid about specifically mentioning antiemitics. I am on other meds and he (nor I) really want to take anymore.

But I DO (must) have an antiemitic.

I didn't want to raise suspicion with my GP by naming pills in Stan's guide. My GP has now

MayB online pharmacy help

Metoclopramide at Simple Online Pharmacy

Metoclopramide is a prescription treatment used to reduce nausea and sickness. You can buy Metoclopramide from our UK registered online prescribing service

www.simpleonlinepharmacy.co.uk

 

[44nutz1977]

I have antiemetic sorted I think.

Cuisine Canada site... ???
I go to process payment but it is not going further. I want to pay mastercard. Did anyone have payment problems there???

 

[Dot]

I have antiemetic sorted I think.

Cuisine Canada site... ???
I go to process payment but it is not going further. I want to pay mastercard. Did anyone have payment problems there???

Another membr had similar issue. Nt sure how solved bt order went through in end. Cld email website contact 4 advice.

 

[44nutz1977]

Another membr had similar issue. Nt sure how solved bt order went through in end. Cld email website contact 4 advice.

Sorted. It had to go thru PayPal.

 

[plsletmego]

I'm new here as well. Can anyone tell me where I can find sn in Canada / what the cuisine website is? I placed an order from a lab but I think it may be cancelled for being ordered to a residential building and not an organization :/

 

[44nutz1977]

I'm new here as well. Can anyone tell me where I can find sn in Canada / what the cuisine website is? I placed an order from a lab but I think it may be cancelled for being ordered to a residential building and not an organization :/

I'm not linking the site.
That's not up to me I have not been here long enough.

You have to use PayPal for the Canadian site. It seems legit to me. I am waiting for mine. I suggest you hang around here a while and speak to a few people.

It would be a terrible shame if the site goes down for any reason. It was my one way to source SN. Like you I tried elsewhere but would have been refused as I am not a business.

Good luck and take good care.

 

[plsletmego]

I'm not linking the site.
That's not up to me I have not been here long enough.

You have to use PayPal for the Canadian site. It seems legit to me. I am waiting for mine. I suggest you hang around here a while and speak to a few people.

It would be a terrible shame if the site goes down for any reason. It was my one way to source SN. Like you I tried elsewhere but would have been refused as I am not a business.

Good luck and take good care.

Sorry I should have specified can someone pm* me the site not post publicly. Thank you

 

[Dot]

@RainAndSadness jst realise tht pharmacy lnk hv postd cld b source risk. @44nutz1977 hs wht ws lookin4 now cld u poss remove th 2 posts w/ the link in.

 

[After Life]

is sodium dichlorocetate the same ?

 

[cambrai33]

I'm not linking the site.
That's not up to me I have not been here long enough.

You have to use PayPal for the Canadian site. It seems legit to me. I am waiting for mine. I suggest you hang around here a while and speak to a few people.

It would be a terrible shame if the site goes down for any reason. It was my one way to source SN. Like you I tried elsewhere but would have been refused as I am not a business.

Good luck and take good care.

Can't seem to pm you, could you try me please?

 

[44nutz1977]

@RainAndSadness jst realise tht pharmacy lnk hv postd cld b source risk. @44nutz1977 hs wht ws lookin4 now cld u poss remove th 2 posts w/ the link in.

Removed the one I can.. I think you have to delete the other one.

 

[Dot]

Removed the one I can.. I think you have to delete the other one.

Been up 2 long 4 self 2 delete. When mod know hopeflly ok

 

[44nutz1977]

Well. Astoundingly SN arrived today. That took 7 days! Astoundingly quick.

A few things. The packaging DOES state what is there. So make sure YOU are signing for the package. Its impossible to erase all tracks of ordering but at least minimise by discarding the invoice, packaging etc.
My order stated company name many times.

A person I live with noticed the package but I don't think has any idea what it is for. So again. Make sure YOU sign for it and no one else can see it!

Pic attached.. I have scrubbed out all info.

Very fast. Very reliable. But how long will this particular supply chain last for? I suppose people here just have to be ultra careful what information they give to others.

My decision has been long thought about. It is not impulsive and it will be when I am ready. I hope anyone else planning to leave makes sure they are prepared and ready. I know it ain't easy for so many. But preparing for this has been the most important decision.

I plan to ctb in about 2 weeks time. Though this may change...
But at least I now have all I need to do so safely and peacefully as I hope to.

Thanks SO SO much to this group for support and advice.