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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,659
So there's this idea in the New Age community, which was epitomised by the book and film The Secret, which claims that people create their own reality out of thin air by the thoughts that they think. This is sometimes referred to as manifestation, or the Law of Attraction. The Secret took it to the extreme of suggesting that a person has the power to manifest anything by taking no other action than positive thinking and mentally visualising their desire as if it were already so. For example, manifesting money by repeatedly picturing cash or repeating a mantra of being abundant. Interesting strategy.

The scientific references that New Agers cite revolve around quantum phenomena such as spooky action at a distance (quantum entanglement) and the conscious observer collapsing the wave function in the double-slit experiment. However, this interpretation of quantum physics is not supported by contemporary mainstream science (indeed, there is no concrete interpretation universally agreed-upon thus far) and unflattering terms like 'magical thinking' dismiss the entire notion as a mere psychological illusion similar to confirmation bias.

There are similar phenomena which are supported by the scientific mainstream, however. From a commonsense standpoint, an optimist with a can-do attitude will generally outperform someone who has given up trying, as per explanatory style. The placebo effect also suggests there can be measurable benefits caused by optimistic expectations. Conversely, the long-term thought patterns of depression can lead to all sorts of secondary health and lifestyle woes - not that this is exactly a choice.

The concept of manifestation was first brought to my attention in the '90s, and during its peak of popularity in the 2000s I had friends with a keen interest in the topic. The fatal flaw of many of them was that they were drawn to the excitement of thinking they had found a shortcut to overcome the drudgery of working long hours and developing substantive skills around matters such as financial management. Over time, most of them ended up quite disillusioned.

However, at one point I worked for a man who had quite a mystical, yet reasonably grounded persona. He was highly regarded as a psychic, and he believed in the New Age manifestation concept, with the caveat that practical action and hard work was essential. He also taught about 'going with the flow', which implies that life will generally sort itself out in positive ways if we take opportunities as they arise spontaneously; whether this is complimentary or contrary to the Law of Attraction is unclear.

He had some interesting stories. As a child, he had had a health ailment and it was predicted that he would grow up weak and underweight, yet he instead grew up tall and muscular. He emigrated to Australia with nothing but a suitcase of basic supplies, yet within a few years, he had found himself in an unexpected niche caused by another business suddenly collapsing. Thus began his own business.

After a handful of years of hard work, he was able to fully retire and live out his days in the forest. His spacious, secluded house had a distinctly old-fashioned charm. He had met his life partner back in the '90s (they are gay) and many years later, they attained the impossible dream of having children utilising a surrogate mother, and happened to have twins. The whole place has a distinct 'fairy tale' vibe, as if their lives are functioning under a different set of natural laws to everyone else. There are far too many little blessings and fortunate events in their lives to list here, but for the most part, it was one serendipity after another.

A cynical observer might minimise the metaphysical aspects of these outcomes and attribute his success to a mixture of hard work, luck and shrewd decision-making. The danger is that such an un-spiritual outsider may attempt to observe the situation with a straightjacket approach devoid of mystical thinking, drawing a biased conclusion as a result.

By contrast, the first spiritual book I ever read - Conversations with God - explained that the life that an individual manifests could end up a hellacious vicious circle of negative thoughts and experiences, or a joyous cycle of abundance. This pivots based on the subconscious 'sponsoring thought' that the individual's life is based on. (Obviously, for most regular people, the manifestation is a mishmash of both, but passable overall.) At this fundamental level, there are said to be only two possible states to act from: love or fear.

Anyway, the reason I've been thinking about this topic is I'm now coming up to a year of intensive effort at the gym. With my fragile energy levels, I've had to base my whole life around the desire for weight gain: I've pushed myself to the limit physically and refused to give up. With my insanely fast metabolism, I've had to force-feed myself day and night, including getting up multiple times per night to eat. So imagine my surprise when, despite gaining weight according to the scale, I look almost the same as the day I started! I still feel frail and weak compared to 99% of guys. Frankly, this dastardly outcome is bordering on defying the laws of physics.

It is pushing my buttons because this has been the theme at every level. I have worked crappy jobs for over 2 decades, and admittedly at least have a humble house to show for it, but the general theme is of having a fraction of the abundance of people who have only pushed themselves a fraction as hard. Attempts at connection with other humans can only be regarded as a total disaster despite endless attempts. And after so many years of stress and denial of human affection, physical and mental health are degraded to the point where change is unlikely and the decision to CTB is basically unavoidable. Even attempts at purely spiritual, non-material evolution have been remarkably anticlimactic despite following a proven pathway.

I'm not too opinionated about the existence of God, but if I had to give a blunt assessment, I would describe him as a big elitist asshole in the sky who loves pampering his favourite people endlessly, yet has no conscience about letting the unloved ones rot, suffer and go insane in subhuman conditions. Despite the consensus of NDE research and lofty religious views, it seems pretty clear that God only loves some people. I have actually had people tell me I am 'jinxed' because of weird misfortunes that only seem to happen to me. My subconscious thought is one of unworthiness, lacking any blessings, having to work twice as hard and get almost nothing to show for it. There's an underlying bitterness, an expectation of rejection and an antipathy for life at a very deep level.

But sometimes that I have wondered with horror if the cruel, smug, negligent qualities that I project onto 'God' are not 100% identical to nfather, the closeted sadist who raised me to be a public whipping boy and set-up-to-fail laughing stock. From the New Age perspective, I have manifested an entire life of inexplicable ruin by basing the whole manifestation on the poisonous legacy of a hateful father. Granted, there's little control over one's subconscious mind, and it's hard to beat myself up when I have genuinely done the right things.

But in the final, dying assessment, I can't help but wonder if the New Agers are onto something after all.
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,763
I don't believe in the law of attraction per se (I threw the secret book in the trash when i read that poor people are because they have negative thoughts) but i do believe that every soul is in a different energy, in a different vibration, there are people who are in better energetic currents which translates into more pleasant lives and others who are like in a lower astral.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,670
So there's this idea in the New Age community, which was epitomised by the book and film The Secret, which claims that people create their own reality out of thin air by the thoughts that they think. This is sometimes referred to as manifestation, or the Law of Attraction. The Secret took it to the extreme of suggesting that a person has the power to manifest anything by taking no other action than positive thinking and mentally visualising their desire as if it were already so. For example, manifesting money by repeatedly picturing cash or repeating a mantra of being abundant. Interesting strategy.

The scientific references that New Agers cite revolve around quantum phenomena such as spooky action at a distance (quantum entanglement) and the conscious observer collapsing the wave function in the double-slit experiment. However, this interpretation of quantum physics is not supported by contemporary mainstream science (indeed, there is no concrete interpretation universally agreed-upon thus far) and unflattering terms like 'magical thinking' dismiss the entire notion as a mere psychological illusion similar to confirmation bias.

There are similar phenomena which are supported by the scientific mainstream, however. From a commonsense standpoint, an optimist with a can-do attitude will generally outperform someone who has given up trying, as per explanatory style. The placebo effect also suggests there can be measurable benefits caused by optimistic expectations. Conversely, the long-term thought patterns of depression can lead to all sorts of secondary health and lifestyle woes - not that this is exactly a choice.

The concept of manifestation was first brought to my attention in the '90s, and during its peak of popularity in the 2000s I had friends with a keen interest in the topic. The fatal flaw of many of them was that they were drawn to the excitement of thinking they had found a shortcut to overcome the drudgery of working long hours and developing substantive skills around matters such as financial management. Over time, most of them ended up quite disillusioned.

However, at one point I worked for a man who had quite a mystical, yet reasonably grounded persona. He was highly regarded as a psychic, and he believed in the New Age manifestation concept, with the caveat that practical action and hard work was essential. He also taught about 'going with the flow', which implies that life will generally sort itself out in positive ways if we take opportunities as they arise spontaneously; whether this is complimentary or contrary to the Law of Attraction is unclear.

He had some interesting stories. As a child, he had had a health ailment and it was predicted that he would grow up weak and underweight, yet he instead grew up tall and muscular. He emigrated to Australia with nothing but a suitcase of basic supplies, yet within a few years, he had found himself in an unexpected niche caused by another business suddenly collapsing. Thus began his own business.

After a handful of years of hard work, he was able to fully retire and live out his days in the forest. His spacious, secluded house had a distinctly old-fashioned charm. He had met his life partner back in the '90s (they are gay) and many years later, they attained the impossible dream of having children utilising a surrogate mother, and happened to have twins. The whole place has a distinct 'fairy tale' vibe, as if their lives are functioning under a different set of natural laws to everyone else. There are far too many little blessings and fortunate events in their lives to list here, but for the most part, it was one serendipity after another.

A cynical observer might minimise the metaphysical aspects of these outcomes and attribute his success to a mixture of hard work, luck and shrewd decision-making. The danger is that such an un-spiritual outsider may attempt to observe the situation with a straightjacket approach devoid of mystical thinking, drawing a biased conclusion as a result.

By contrast, the first spiritual book I ever read - Conversations with God - explained that the life that an individual manifests could end up a hellacious vicious circle of negative thoughts and experiences, or a joyous cycle of abundance. This pivots based on the subconscious 'sponsoring thought' that the individual's life is based on. (Obviously, for most regular people, the manifestation is a mishmash of both, but passable overall.) At this fundamental level, there are said to be only two possible states to act from: love or fear.

Anyway, the reason I've been thinking about this topic is I'm now coming up to a year of intensive effort at the gym. With my fragile energy levels, I've had to base my whole life around the desire for weight gain: I've pushed myself to the limit physically and refused to give up. With my insanely fast metabolism, I've had to force-feed myself day and night, including getting up multiple times per night to eat. So imagine my surprise when, despite gaining weight according to the scale, I look almost the same as the day I started! I still feel frail and weak compared to 99% of guys. Frankly, this dastardly outcome is bordering on defying the laws of physics.

It is pushing my buttons because this has been the theme at every level. I have worked crappy jobs for over 2 decades, and admittedly at least have a humble house to show for it, but the general theme is of having a fraction of the abundance of people who have only pushed themselves a fraction as hard. Attempts at connection with other humans can only be regarded as a total disaster despite endless attempts. And after so many years of stress and denial of human affection, physical and mental health are degraded to the point where change is unlikely and the decision to CTB is basically unavoidable. Even attempts at purely spiritual, non-material evolution have been remarkably anticlimactic despite following a proven pathway.

I'm not too opinionated about the existence of God, but if I had to give a blunt assessment, I would describe him as a big elitist asshole in the sky who loves pampering his favourite people endlessly, yet has no conscience about letting the unloved ones rot, suffer and go insane in subhuman conditions. Despite the consensus of NDE research and lofty religious views, it seems pretty clear that God only loves some people. I have actually had people tell me I am 'jinxed' because of weird misfortunes that only seem to happen to me. My subconscious thought is one of unworthiness, lacking any blessings, having to work twice as hard and get almost nothing to show for it. There's an underlying bitterness, an expectation of rejection and an antipathy for life at a very deep level.

But sometimes that I have wondered with horror if the cruel, smug, negligent qualities that I project onto 'God' are not 100% identical to nfather, the closeted sadist who raised me to be a public whipping boy and set-up-to-fail laughing stock. From the New Age perspective, I have manifested an entire life of inexplicable ruin by basing the whole manifestation on the poisonous legacy of a hateful father. Granted, there's little control over one's subconscious mind, and it's hard to beat myself up when I have genuinely done the right things.

But in the final, dying assessment, I can't help but wonder if the New Agers are onto something after all.
Yes, I believe in manifestation and the laws of attraction and assumption. Have you heard about Neville Goddard?
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,659
Yes, I believe in manifestation and the laws of attraction and assumption. Have you heard about Neville Goddard?
The name rings a bell but I am not familiar with his work. Would be interested to hear more about your experience.

(I threw the secret book in the trash when i read that poor people are because they have negative thoughts)
Very fair point. There were a lot of misleading aspects to The Secret phenomenon, including the one you mention. Commonsense says that billions of people are born into poverty and lack any meaningful opportunities for a better life. 'Spiritual' millionaires who lash at them for purported negativity makes for a pretty ugly sight.

Then, on the other hand, some people do tend towards success given halfway reasonable opportunities. A virile mentality is a part of this, and it seems plausible that there's a metaphysical element to it also.
 
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Zegers

Zegers

Enlightened
Dec 15, 2021
1,763
here's a metaphysical element to it
Where you are born, DNA, environment, everything is a trend of what your life will be like generally.
 
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Lys_C15H25N3O_d3

Lys_C15H25N3O_d3

Student
Sep 19, 2023
142
The name rings a bell but I am not familiar with his work. Would be interested to hear more about your experience.


Very fair point. There were a lot of misleading aspects to The Secret phenomenon, including the one you mention. Commonsense says that billions of people are born into poverty and lack any meaningful opportunities for a better life. 'Spiritual' millionaires who lash at them for purported negativity makes for a pretty ugly sight.

Then, on the other hand, some people do tend towards success given halfway reasonable opportunities. A virile mentality is a part of this, and it seems plausible that there's a metaphysical element to it also.
What is practiced in reality is magick. and the more people you have chanting higher the probability of "outside interference" to what is referred as "occult". A lot of euphemisms and sugarcoating the royal elitists have done to popularize the approach to the new aeon, While i remember back then that the excuse "you didn't think positively enough" is a handy loop for keeping people "positive".. i think the intent was really to bring "new ideas of philosophy and quantum science to be embraced like religion had always its role in society. Go figure what the CERN (where they have the large hadron electron collider) that place, which spawned the www (and that creepy girl band les terribles cernettes) is known to host a lost of conspiracy theories, but why on earth the top paid scientists the ones supposedly "breaking through" why do they all seem to flirt with the esoteric? the swiss railroad opening ceremony (with the researchers dressed in labcoats, undressing and jumping around very curious baphomet effigy .. Even the crowd looked shocked at "what the hell are they doing?" and the supposed "mock-up" human sacrifices that numerous witnessess asked the cops but turned out it was only a "new age thing" mixed with the statue of shiva and the staged sacrifices were just a cultural art performance" ok... Tell me of any thelemite (appart from led zeppelin dude, whats his name, jimmy paige? was he succesful? happy? dont even know if he's alive anyway he bought aleister crowley castle. and yeah theres a lot of symbolism in every "mock-up ritual" or "performance" entities care not about "good" "evil" such concepts are non-existant. even the abrahamic/jewish/christian god can be pretty much the demiurge. meaning theres little to zero significance concepts as "pity, mercy cruelty, good bad etc" . transforming "reality in accordance to one's will" and of course some pacts or commerce with goetia daemons, when this new age wave began and people started accepting as celebrities stated "i am now a scientologist" (really? what does a scientologist do or believes? has the name "science" anything to do with it?" some people might not even realize they're perfoming ceremonial magick . what can i say? i miss the time i was atheist skeptic. problem with skepticism is that, you only believe what you can prove and some people, they want to REALLY prove it, like poking around, reading some stuff made available nowadays really serious, and i regret ever trying to mess with that, simply made me lose all my confidence and coincidentally brought the worst *until now events in this ridiculous life,.. i DOUBT all that crazy stuff would have happened had i not played with stuff you cant understand let alone control, and the dudes who are serious, for years they are "initiates".. anyway i was high o LSD once and said i would die in a stupid accidental way when i least expected it. the next day. thats exactly what happened. i had been pronounced dead after 1month of coma. they said they were about to drill holes and do all the common procedure had i not woke up pulling all that those damn tubes , had no voice no idea what year was what happened where was i who was i. i wasnt supposed to come back, AND the worst is that i recall every detail of the comatose trip. they seemed funny and nonsensical for 2018.. some things that happened after 2018 both irrelevant and stupid both and remarkable in personal life and in the world in general, people around me saw me as "sensitive" and blablabla all the stuff i really never bought. anyway i lost my right hand movements, not long after a sick bullethole like necrosis started to appear on the left leg (which today has its ligmnents totally destroyed in another "non-related" incident . turns out it was a certain spider bite that in hours necroses the limbs etc, doc asked "how many hours " , it was 2 weeks, i felt a burn i thought it was a cigarrete tip or something im gonna have to change the nickname after that one, but moral of the long story - all this new age stuff is linked to energies which no one can understand but one thing they have in common are not sad endings, but a string of chaotic unfortunate miserable life events that come pilled up and seals the fate of one's life (talk about becoming crippled, physically mentally .. incredibly ill but never enough to die. i wouldnt be typing all this textwall if somehow it wasnt linked, goddamn it i miss the comfort of "being sure that theres after the end its lights out no rolling credits whatsoever.. anyway.. such practices (magick not the secret) completely disregards whatever conceptions of "positive" "negative" "good" "bad" so yeah i ve had enough as you can see.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,670
The name rings a bell but I am not familiar with his work. Would be interested to hear more about your experience.


Very fair point. There were a lot of misleading aspects to The Secret phenomenon, including the one you mention. Commonsense says that billions of people are born into poverty and lack any meaningful opportunities for a better life. 'Spiritual' millionaires who lash at them for purported negativity makes for a pretty ugly sight.

Then, on the other hand, some people do tend towards success given halfway reasonable opportunities. A virile mentality is a part of this, and it seems plausible that there's a metaphysical element to it also.
Basically, his philosophy is that our thoughts create our reality, and that you have to believe that you already have what you desire. You need to live in that mindset. Let's say that you want to be rich. You need to imagine being rich and act as if you are already rich. I don't mean wasting your money or spending it on useless things, but rather living a life of abundance and generosity. Of course, nothing in life is free, and to get rich you probably have to work hard and make a lot of money as well. But Neville said that you have to get into the mindset and way of thinking. He says to believe that you already have what you desire. Imagine money coming into your wallet or bank account. Imagine someone sending you $1000. Visualize your desire/what you want becoming reality. Fake it till you make it. You have to believe that you already have your desired outcome. Oh he also says that what you assume to be true will manifest and end up happening. This is why it's so important to change your thoughts and mindset, because your assumptions will become reality

He also has a teaching of revision, which means that you can revise the past by imaging it in your ideal way. Instead of what actually happened, believe that what you wanted to happen occurred instead. Some people say that revision could actually change what happened and change the events of the past, but I believe that it only changes your perception of and feelings about it. I've heard that this method has allowed people to find closure with things that happened in the past.

Idk, last week I was really craving steak and challah bread, and then my neighbor invited me to dinner. Guess what was there? Steak and challah.

I think I've used manifestation and the laws of assumption and attraction before as well (unwittingly and unconsciously), probably to get into my college and internship, and first job. I only found out about Neville or manifestation last year tho…I also got a reply from a job application in a field that I'm interested in working in, and they're interested in moving me to the next stage, but this still isn't my "ideal" if that makes sense. So far my ideal job and ideal companies are still rejecting me 😭 granted it's a really competitive and difficult field, but yeah
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,659
Basically, his philosophy is that our thoughts create our reality, and that you have to believe that you already have what you desire.
This part is identical to the teachings of Neale Donald Walsch, who was my first spiritual teacher going way back to the '90s. The challenge for me was having massive amounts of negative image due to chronic childhood abuse. Asking me to suddenly think positive as of today is like asking me to build a rocket in my backyard and go to the moon.

The part about needing to take practical action is also a huge part missing from a lot of teachings.

If anyone is curious to experiment with it, there's a simple technique that I've flirted with in the past. Write a list of 10 things that you are genuinely grateful for and repeat it daily. Be open and watchful for any coincidences or events which come up and seem to reflect the energy of the list. If it proves an effective energetic way of manifesting an expansion of whatever you feel gratitude for, there is the potential for a positive feedback loop.

Conversely, it's easy to fall into negative vicious circles. Even Eckhart Tolle tells of his younger days when he had a view that bad things always happen to him. And he says that bad things did happen to him until he gave up that belief. The possible claim being made is that people are actually very powerful but most not channeling their energies consciously. It's an idea worthy of consideration.
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,670
The name rings a bell but I am not familiar with his work. Would be interested to hear more about your experience.


Very fair point. There were a lot of misleading aspects to The Secret phenomenon, including the one you mention. Commonsense says that billions of people are born into poverty and lack any meaningful opportunities for a better life. 'Spiritual' millionaires who lash at them for purported negativity makes for a pretty ugly sight.

Then, on the other hand, some people do tend towards success given halfway reasonable opportunities. A virile mentality is a part of this, and it seems plausible that there's a metaphysical element to it also.
What do you think/believe the metaphysical element is? Luck or destiny? Yeah, it's interesting how some people seem to make the most out of every opportunity they're given, while others like me can never utilize them well. I seem to self-sabotage, when there's something good or going well in my life I always have to ruin it. I too wonder what factors are at play here…
 
Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
3,659
What do you think/believe the metaphysical element is? Luck or destiny? Yeah, it's interesting how some people seem to make the most out of every opportunity they're given, while others like me can never utilize them well. I seem to self-sabotage, when there's something good or going well in my life I always have to ruin it. I too wonder what factors are at play here…
It's a very difficult question to answer simply and accurately, as there are different nuances which gets crazier as we go deeper.

From a commonsense standpoint, someone with an optimistic outlook will invest more energy into achieving goals than someone who doesn't bother because they are sure they would fail anyway. As hockey player Wayne Gretzky famously said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Hence, motivational talk emphasises the importance of aspiring to peak performance and resilience during tough times.

Taking a more psychological angle, when we are mistreated when growing up, we internalise feelings of unworthiness and become stuck in patterns of self-sabotage. Some therapies aim to teach us a basic sense of having rights and having permission to be ourselves in order to correct this childhood glitch.

Going down a rabbit hole, concepts like prayers to deities or manifestation are based on belief in invisible or unconventional forces. Such things will be dismissed as magical thinking by staunch materialists, and this approach can also be harmful if used to try and bypass the need to put practical efforts in. But I've seen enough weird coincidences to retain an open mind.

Then there's the realm of Eastern philosophy, where the very question of identifying as the human body and thoughts of the brain gets called into question, and potentially free will itself. Hence, ideas like predestination arise. The primary goal becomes a permanent shift in identity from personhood to limitless consciousness. People who have been through this so-called awakening report a radically different outlook, tending to live spontaneously and feeling enjoyment even in the mundane.

From this 'Enlightened' perspective, the conventional way of living - feeling unsatisfied with life and striving for improvement - is falling for the scam of the human mind over and over. All thoughts discourage us from being in the present moment. The mental sense of self aspires to future salvation, yet is actually causing the very problem (feelings of dissatisfaction) it is selling the solution to. Yet most people are at its mercy because they buy into the idea that they are their thoughts.
 
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Lys_C15H25N3O_d3

Lys_C15H25N3O_d3

Student
Sep 19, 2023
142
Not sure if i can post links but i am sure you can copy and paste them if interested (if ya can't find the PDFs anymore. i think i have them somewhere in teh drive, i knew someday the would be taken out. and judging by the most "practical" version of "reality according to thought"


Psychonaut - Liber Null from petter j carroll i think?

can't remember but im pretty sure this 70s books was kinda of a hype when i was last read it in 2017 but i didnt read this one alone, it wasnt only about reading either.. haha,. it involved a lot ot... "magical altered states of mind" or so they say, and ... a lot of concentration thought medidation everything will try to disrupt but eventually you overcome ... the downside? think that that saying "give someone power or at least let him think he has then you'll really see what someone is"
i had a very weak mind. its too easy to get blinded by such amazing stuff at first. though imp retty sure someone determined can .. . find there s maybe a thing or 2 useful in it
What do you think/believe the metaphysical element is? Luck or destiny? Yeah, it's interesting how some people seem to make the most out of every opportunity they're given, while others like me can never utilize them well. I seem to self-sabotage, when there's something good or going well in my life I always have to ruin it. I too wonder what factors are at play here…
yeah the doctor once called it was "borderline".. that i "like dangerous thrilling situations " (nah i dont think so, i could say trouble used to go after me, but i applied the optmistic concept "Face every disagreement/trouble/conflict/fight/death-threat as if it were your last!" of course ,. the self-sabotaging thing went too far, too foo far beyond fixing every second is painful.. some 8 hours sober and ... theres a ton of reasons not to be "Fate / Destiny ? used to think that was all nonsense now i guess if even IF YOU DONT WANT to,.. you "self - sabotage false-flag all the way to the deep-state" i don't what to think of ? its fate or just destined to commit the same mistakes over and over? if not the same , anything that would false-flag self sabotage, . so we can say if up to this point it has been like this,. so yeah i guess its destiny .. its fate.. and no, it never is something joyful or special it is what it is so we re i nserious trouble we 're a danger to ourselves
 
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sserafim

sserafim

they say it’s darkest of all before the dawn
Sep 13, 2023
8,670
It's a very difficult question to answer simply and accurately, as there are different nuances which gets crazier as we go deeper.

From a commonsense standpoint, someone with an optimistic outlook will invest more energy into achieving goals than someone who doesn't bother because they are sure they would fail anyway. As hockey player Wayne Gretzky famously said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Hence, motivational talk emphasises the importance of aspiring to peak performance and resilience during tough times.

Taking a more psychological angle, when we are mistreated when growing up, we internalise feelings of unworthiness and become stuck in patterns of self-sabotage. Some therapies aim to teach us a basic sense of having rights and having permission to be ourselves in order to correct this childhood glitch.

Going down a rabbit hole, concepts like prayers to deities or manifestation are based on belief in invisible or unconventional forces. Such things will be dismissed as magical thinking by staunch materialists, and this approach can also be harmful if used to try and bypass the need to put practical efforts in. But I've seen enough weird coincidences to retain an open mind.

Then there's the realm of Eastern philosophy, where the very question of identifying as the human body and thoughts of the brain gets called into question, and potentially free will itself. Hence, ideas like predestination arise. The primary goal becomes a permanent shift in identity from personhood to limitless consciousness. People who have been through this so-called awakening report a radically different outlook, tending to live spontaneously and feeling enjoyment even in the mundane.

From this 'Enlightened' perspective, the conventional way of living - feeling unsatisfied with life and striving for improvement - is falling for the scam of the human mind over and over. All thoughts discourage us from being in the present moment. The mental sense of self aspires to future salvation, yet is actually causing the very problem (feelings of dissatisfaction) it is selling the solution to. Yet most people are at its mercy because they buy into the idea that they are their thoughts.
I think I was probably emotionally mistreated growing up. I was criticized a lot when I was young, and I still am being criticized to this day. My mom always has to criticize me for anything and everything I do, so my self esteem is shit. She's never said anything positive about me, it's always negative. She's never encouraged me or praised me either, so I never got any positive feedback or reinforcement. She always has to make negative comments on me and she always underestimates me as well. She says stuff like "oh you won't be able to do this", "you're not capable enough to do this", "you don't have the ability to do this". I think being subject to her criticism is a factor in me self-sabotaging, because she's ingrained this negative mindset in me, and she's made me not trust myself.

You said that there were therapies to overcome this. Would you mind elaborating? Thanks so much
 
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You said that there were therapies to overcome this. Would you mind elaborating? Thanks so much
That sounds like an awful thing to go through. My parents were similar except they rarely said anything negative, preferring to use passive-aggressive methods to inflict harm.

The first thing to understand is that this is unfortunately something that happens to many people. There's the better part of a million members of a Reddit community dedicated to survivors of so-called narcissistic parents. I think validation has a place so this might be worth taking a look. Of course, that doesn't leave us with any solutions.

I can also recommend this YouTube channel which skillfully summarises a lot of relevant information to bring you up to speed on the basics. Going further, if you can access a good therapist in your area, this would be ideal since they could figure out the best method to proceed. It might be necessary to cut all contact with abusive family members for the indefinite future if you can possibly do so.

The basic idea is that your nervous system needs to be reprogrammed. You need to be able to feel safe (except for brief periods when there is some threat in your immediate environment), to know that you have a right to express yourself and to understand that you deserve to be treated with love and respect. We are talking about the subconscious here, so the change needs to go far deeper than an intellectual understanding.
 
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