NEVER go on Reddit to get help

[torturedbylife]

I'm back on this site because it's like the only decent community on the internet.
I've tried to find some support for when I was down and I made the horrible decision to get that on Reddit. I got it out about my friendlessness, my abusive family, the amount of bullying I had to deal with, the fact that I'm drawn to alcohol. It was awful. People on there really go out of their way to make you feel worse than you were before posting. My experiences and feelings were disregarded because others have it worse and if I'm healthy I shouldn't complain about anything. Others think that I chose this way of life and that it can be solved by being positive. Others asked me why do I need a friend anyway. Wtf, ain't I a human as well? Can't I have the need of belonging somewhere? To talk with someone? Why do you think everyone else has friends? It made me miserable and feeling that I'm bothering for only posting there and venting, but unfortunately this is how some redditors are. Only out there to make themselves feel better and pat each other on their shoulder. Yeah, I'll never go there for help ever again. The comments in suicide and depression subreddits are the same thing repeated over and over again. Don't even get me started on the relationship advice subreddit.
These were my experiences with trying to get help from there. Really toxic.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

Damn. I'm sorry for your experience. You're human and your experiences are valid. It's hard for me to put into words but your suffering isn't less meaningless just because others have it worse off and you're physically health. Nobody is bothered by you venting here, I don't know why it's so vastly different for Reddit. I used Reddit once and posted I was suicidal too and almost all the comments were telling me to keep living and that someone loves me. Sanctioned Suicide? Post your suicide note here and everyone wishes you well and a nice trip.

 

[Red]

"One man's pain doesn't lessen another's."

Least we got this place! Lots of people here that remember the above, much to their credit - most used reactions are hugs and hearts

 

[nigelhernandez]

Can I ask what exactly did they say to you?

 

[WastedSpace]

I've tried to find some support for when I was down and I made the horrible decision to get that on Reddit. I got it out about my friendlessness, my abusive family, the amount of bullying I had to deal with, the fact that I'm drawn to alcohol. It was awful.

You're definitely not alone. Lots of people have had really terrible experiences on reddit and other social media. To me it almost feels like you're talking with an A.I bot because they recycle the same 10 responses to everyone who posts.


I don't have solutions for you but I just want to remind you of a few things. First, A child - or an adult for that matter - should NEVER be bullied or abused. It's unacceptable. You have EVERY RIGHT to feel angry, disappointed, frustrated, upset, hopeless, devastated, vengeful or any other feeling about it.

Second, humans are meant to be part of a community. We lived in small tight knit tribes for the vast majority of human history. The modern way of life is not normal. Yes you deserve to have a friend and a family. And yes its normal to want that. Anyone who says differently can go fuck themselves.

My experiences and feelings were disregarded because others have it worse and if I'm healthy I shouldn't complain about anything. Others think that I chose this way of life and that it can be solved by being positive.

Third, please take this the way it's intended (with compassion and empathy) but if you were "healthy," you wouldn't be on this site. Did you know that emotional pain activates the same parts of the brain as physical pain? I was just reading about it the other day. The emotional pain you've experienced is causing your mind and body to suffer enormously. You are fucking allowed to be affected by that. Hang in there friend, you're not alone.

 

[torturedbylife]

Can I ask what exactly did they say to you?

Can't copy paste from reddit mobile but I'll try to reproduce as best as I can.
One of them said why do I need anyone else because there are other people who are by themselves and have jobs and hobbies. Maybe they're content with being like that lmao? I am not. They also said that because I envy people who have friends no one would want to be my friend because of that and compares this to drunken and negative people. Well guess what, no one wanted to befriend me before I started to be envy and an alcoholic lmao. And in the end that I only need myself. Yeah, I only need myself while everyone else has caring people in their lives. In other words, keep drowning in your misery you downer!

The other one basically said to stop complaining, snap out of it and fix myself. Like it's an easy thing to do, you just clap your hands and magic happens! Also said that I shouldn't complain and that some of us are dealt with a bad card and should just deal with it.

Damn. I'm sorry for your experience. You're human and your experiences are valid. It's hard for me to put into words but your suffering isn't less meaningless just because others have it worse off and you're physically health. Nobody is bothered by you venting here, I don't know why it's so vastly different for Reddit. I used Reddit once and posted I was suicidal too and almost all the comments were telling me to keep living and that someone loves me. Sanctioned Suicide? Post your suicide note here and everyone wishes you well and a nice trip.

Yeah it's always like that, they say that there are people that love u, that it's only temporary and life is worth living or they just throw some random numbers called suicide hotline. They live in their own little fuzzy bubble.

You're definitely not alone. Lots of people have had really terrible experiences on reddit and other social media. To me it almost feels like you're talking with an A.I bot because they recycle the same 10 responses to everyone who posts.


I don't have solutions for you but I just want to remind you of a few things. First, A child - or an adult for that matter - should NEVER be bullied or abused. It's unacceptable. You have EVERY RIGHT to feel angry, disappointed, frustrated, upset, hopeless, devastated, vengeful or any other feeling about it.

Second, humans are meant to be part of a community. We lived in small tight knit tribes for the vast majority of human history. The modern way of life is not normal. Yes you deserve to have a friend and a family. And yes its normal to want that. Anyone who says differently can go fuck themselves.




Third, please take this the way it's intended (with compassion and empathy) but if you were "healthy," you wouldn't be on this site. Did you know that emotional pain activates the same parts of the brain as physical pain? I was just reading about it the other day. The emotional pain you've experienced is causing your mind and body to suffer enormously. You are fucking allowed to be affected by that. Hang in there friend, you're not alone.

I totally agree with you. That's why I came back here. Because I need a community since I have no one outside of this.

I actually experienced how emotional pain causes physical pain. Sometimes when I'm depressed my stomach hurts. Definitely not pleasant.

 

[Georgii]

" eVeRyThInG iS fInE " " bE pOsITiVE , tHe cHaNgE sTaRts WiTh yOu ."

Don't get me wrong ,for the people that actually manage to better themselves on their own, to get out of the "mud" , hooray cheers whatever .

But to drag down and bicker on a already down with the mud person is a new kind of low .To just think change is something that all can do just because of their will is pure ignorance ,especially when ignoring one suffering with bs like "oThErS hAvE oT wOrSe "
Feel free to vent your heart out ,rage it out if you need .

 

[Philosykos]

In the years I've spent on reddit I've seen a lot of things; kindness and compassion however were very few and far between. It should tell you something when in most subreddits very simple questions with very simple answers get nothing but downvotes, snide remarks and sarcastic non-answers.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Had similar experiences. If I'm not getting totally ignored I'm getting invalidated by people that think that pushing past mental issues is easy. I've never understood the mindset. You can't lift a building by 'just pushing harder' so why would you be able to rewire all of your emotions and habits alone just by trying? Doesn't make any sense, what do people even think our brains are? I also totally agree with the bit about loneliness; loneliness is awful and unhealthy and virtually nobody can live a happy life alone.

 

[Varstraben]

Never count on reddit to talk about something serious, it's a fun place but every things are derided on this website. Respect and sympathy are not the mojo on this kind of website (including FB, TW, or other public social network). It's sad to say, but the most respectful place on the internet I have ever see is .. here, on this forum.
If you need to talk about your sadness and not being judged for it, say it here or in private with someone who can really hear you.

 

[ocd is bad]

I used to use Reddit but I stopped because of how toxic it can be. You post something serious and you get ignored, dismissed, or insulted. When I stumbled along this site, I couldn't believe how much nicer and more supportive everyone is in comparison.
I'm really sorry they treated you the way they did. As far as your part about envying people with friends, I don't believe any decent person derserves to not have friends. I always struggled with this growing up and it's a very sad, lonely life. You should be able to vent about it online without having a hotline number shoved in your face.

 

[TAW122]

Yeah, Reddit is a cesspool and irrational, toxic-positivity bullshit, and also has it's own microcosms of trolls and other toxic communities. I, at best, only use reddit for reference or finding the occasional gold nugget posts, or threads that support pro-choice views and right to self-determination.

Also, one more reason to avoid posting on Reddit is it's tight censorship nowadays for anything unpopular or controversial. Hell, even questioning the mods or admins who enforce (or power trip) is met with more threats of punishment and bans.

 

[Epsilon0]

I find Reddit hard to navigate and also full of people ready to impart advice on everyone.

No bueno.

 

[draw a circle]

I think it's like that in most places; we can't really do anything about toxic positivity and all that except to ignore/avoid them. God knows why I never said any of the things I've said here to my irl/other online friends.

The only thing I like about reddit is the supernatural/creepy posts lol

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I found some sympathetic kind people on reddit but it's mostly unhelpful toxic trolls, immature people who make snide witty comments to gain fake internet points, very toxic environment and empty platitudes. I deleted reddit and all social media for good. SS is all I use now.

 

[ocd is bad]

I deleted reddit and all social media for good. SS is all I use now.

I did this too. I can't remember ever being happy from using social media, and I can't even count the times it made me feel bad about myself, especially Reddit.

 

[Life sucks]

Reddit is toxic. Full of toxic stuff like downvoting and attacks. No matter what the subreddit is, there is toxicity. Maybe there is some information but the bad communication and toxicity is extreme.

 

[BlueStarz]

SS is a good place with the majority of people being awesome humans (okay, a few exceptions occasionally)... You can totally vent on here.
My humble impression is that the Magnificent Moderators are also helpful in making the 'culture' on here more friendly but don't put up with any crapola either. Nice!

 

[so tired or manic]

honestly half of what I use reddit for anymore is to stick up for the minorities. everyone there is, WELL I HAVE IT WORSE SO IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THAT BAD. the ptsd subreddit is full of that. you'd think a place for people who have experienced trauma would have some form of empathy, but good lord.

it's also full of know-it-alls. even knowing everything about one topic doesn't give you the whole picture.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Reddit is cool for things like photography, science and engineering. Those kind of subreddits are pretty nice from my own experience; they are just people asking questions and others politely responding. However there's the nasty side to Reddit, and it's usually the subreddits that are more about "subjective" topics; those are the places where folks can get really mean.

 

[Imgonnadie]

yeah. reddit is very fucking terrible. only good for fact based informational stuff