Never be the first

[Alchemist]

Am I the only one who feels angry/sad of being the last choice? People seem to only talk to me when there's nobody else to talk. No matter if it's IRL on on the internet, when there's more people around I always get forgotten. Maybe even wanting to be the most important person to someone is just another proof that I'm an asshole that deserves nobodies friendship.

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

I'm not even the last choice. Hardly anyone cares to talk to me at all

 

[Zer0]

I'm always thinking that people don't like me, they just let me be around and pretend to care about me sometimes to fool me.

 

[Koal]

It hurts because I only get to see my friend for one hour a week, but she'd rather spend it messaging people on her phone that she can talk to basically whenever because it's on her phone.

But of course I'm not going to ask if we could ever message eachother. I just can't convince myself that she'd ever want to so I could have the courage to reach out like that.

 

[ayanonikki]

i always feel this way... i get this embarrassing sense of hope irl or online that somebody is taking a liking to me and i build up the idea in my head, until i find them in another situation and they choose to talk to someone else instead, and they will give that pitiful smile towards me or the insignificant small talk. it makes you wonder what you were to that person at the point when you thought they had taken a liking to you.

i think with all the people in this world though it's ridiculous to believe there is no one you'll find a true connection with. i've met people who have felt they deserve no love because they have always been knocked down by being used by people or just being their last choice, but I've found myself in so much admiration of these people, that they could hate themselves so much despite so many amazing things about them.

disappointment and rejection hurts, a lot, but you will certainly find someone who will choose you as their first choice, if you search for the right person in the right place. it'll take time.

 

[Alchemist]

i always feel this way... i get this embarrassing sense of hope irl or online that somebody is taking a liking to me and i build up the idea in my head, until i find them in another situation and they choose to talk to someone else instead, and they will give that pitiful smile towards me or the insignificant small talk. it makes you wonder what you were to that person at the point when you thought they had taken a liking to you.

i think with all the people in this world though it's ridiculous to believe there is no one you'll find a true connection with. i've met people who have felt they deserve no love because they have always been knocked down by being used by people or just being their last choice, but I've found myself in so much admiration of these people, that they could hate themselves so much despite so many amazing things about them.

disappointment and rejection hurts, a lot, but you will certainly find someone who will choose you as their first choice, if you search for the right person in the right place. it'll take time.

I get what you mean, but after looking for 32 years of failures there's no other choice to accept that person doesn't exist. There's a number of disappointments and backstabbings one can endure before giving up entirely.

 

[ayanonikki]

I get what you mean, but after looking for 32 years of failures there's no other choice to accept that person doesn't exist. There's a number of disappointments and backstabbings one can endure before giving up entirely.

i get it completely. however, whenever i visit these kind of posts i always try to look at them with the idea that the op is looking for some sort of change or is tired of the way things are. i think it's better to lay out the positives rather than jumping straight to the negatives, which can have a much more permanent effect. i know it's difficult to find the energy within you when you feel like the tank has been emptied entirely. it's hard to see any other direction until it is given to you and something changes in your life. maybe i am too hopeful because i haven't experienced much life yet, but i also feel I can be quite the person to jump to a catastrophic and pessimistic mindset, so i understand what you are saying also. i hope you find your way, whatever it may be.

 

[Alchemist]

i get it completely. however, whenever i visit these kind of posts i always try to look at them with the idea that the op is looking for some sort of change or is tired of the way things are. i think it's better to lay out the positives rather than jumping straight to the negatives, which can have a much more permanent effect. i know it's difficult to find the energy within you when you feel like the tank has been emptied entirely. it's hard to see any other direction until it is given to you and something changes in your life. maybe i am too hopeful because i haven't experienced much life yet, but i also feel I can be quite the person to jump to a catastrophic and pessimistic mindset, so i understand what you are saying also. i hope you find your way, whatever it may be.

I think if we all are here is because we know what kind of change we want. I had a similar outlook 9 years ago when things were a bit better, then I was thrown again into reality. But for now my only hope is leaving this world one way or another.