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k488n23_

k488n23_

New Member
May 30, 2023
3
# 2 After the Spark.
You can't have the only thing that can comfort you,
ever again.

He wont call, wont save you.
He left so easily -
you, quietly grieving.

Grieving the love you didn't try to find,
that he lit.
Lit, fed -
but didn't stay to tend.

You were too much.


# 3 Found but lost.
My phone holds your voice,
A recording found; one I didn't make. Didn't need.

For one whole hour, you took me home,
you cared.
Asked me to stay.
Wanted me close; even before we were together.

A soulmate lost, you don't care anymore.
Please ask me again, I'll answer.


# 5 Disgust.
You wont ever move on from him,
not truly.

All the things you did, the thought of doing them with someone else -
disgust and fear.

You planned a future,
with him.

But you were too much -
and you're left alone in that future.


# 6 At Night
Every time I try to fall asleep, my mind turns to you.
You'd hold me, love me.

But you're not real, and I can't sleep with you anymore.
So I don't -
until I pass out.

Pass out and dream of you,
who regrets everything.
Who has came back.

But you're not real, and I wake up.
Wake up wishing I was asleep.

# 7 What could I have done?
Loosing interest, distancing messages -
when did it start?

Did you stop loving me before our last night,
was it a final push?

What could I have done,
said,
or became
to be lovable?

Were you planning how to breakup with me -
holding me
3 days before you asked to talk?

# 9 My Side Of The Bed
'Do you wanna come over?'
You texted, drunk-
hours after asking me if I saw us as a couple.

'Do you wanna sleep here tonight?'
You asked, drunk.

We paused to get pajamas, from my house-
from my bed, cold and soulless.

I didn't know where to lay, or how to hold you-
but you showed me: my side of the bed.

You showed me how to hold, and be held.
How to love, and feel loved.
How to feel the safety in vulnerability, trust.

We woke up, sober-
without any regrets.
You still held me, until I had to leave.



The very next night; you texted, sober.
'Do you wanna stay over and watch a movie?'

I returned to my side of the bed whenever you wanted me there-
when you needed a reward,
a reward that lost its shine as your interest faded.



'Sorry if I've been distant lately'
'I think we should talk in person'
You texted, sober.

'I don't see this relationship going anywhere'
you said, on one random Tuesday-
emotionlessly sober.

The Tuesday we always spent together.

You took the sheets from the bed and folded them away for Christmas-
took me from the bed, and folded me away.



How I wish you were drunk, and I was still a reward.
 

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