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tiredandconfused

Member
Sep 14, 2021
52
Hi.

I live in England, Hampshire not far from Basingstoke. I need to run away but am struggling to figure out how and where. I live in a DV refuge, have left behind my whole life. Been in 4 refuges and changed identity. I'm safe from my past relationship but I don't have it in me to start again.

Im not coping and want to disappear. The pressure here to adjust and settle in a new home is too much pressure and commitment. I've been happy with my decision to CTB but could never do it here. Not fair on the staff and other residents. I have wanted to run for a long while but can't do the street homeless thing again. Been there before many a time. I don't have the money to just go to a random hotel. I don't want to be around lots of people so hostels are too much for me. I really don't know what to do.

I am grateful for the help I've had here but they are hoping for a future for me I don't want. The more time has gone by the more I want to run. Be invisible whilst I finally make the decision to ctb or not. It's hard because I can't mention the S word to anyone but that's all I think about.

I hope this makes sense and I appreciate any advice or viewpoints.
 

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