![Qua](/data/avatars/l/62/62289.jpg?1683248256)
Qua
there's no turning back now
- Apr 30, 2023
- 65
I feel so absolutely terrible like every single day is a misery. I was born into one family that was fucked up and fucksd up my mental health then my mom and me started a new family with a different guy and it's the same if not worse literally my whole life has been a mess has been fucking me up has been destroying me inside out I can't take this anymore I don't even care about my mother's feelings now if I hurt myself. I came back to cutting after 5 months of being clean, I came back to hitting punching myself after like 1 year of being clean and I feel like absolute shit also because I can't cut "properly" like I'm scared of this for some reason. Rn I'm sitting outside with my dog it's 9pm and I either won't come back until they call me back of some shit cut I'm so done I swear I wanna disappear I wanna die I want to feel physically bad so I don't feel mentally bad. I plan on not sleeping the whole night so I exhaust myself I'm so done I can't I started abusing calming meds to drug myself cuz then I don't feel anything anymore and I know it's bad but what else am I supposed to fucking do
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