kilowatt
Guns don't kill people I kill people
- Sep 9, 2023
- 377
Possible TW for abuse. Skip to the last line or paragraph if you don't want to read the background.
I'm gonna be honest, I miss spending weeks at a time in a hospital, just for the sake of the peace, but more important than that I'm facing a really uncomfortable situation. I don't feel safe in my own home. I am 19F (soon to be 20) and I still live with my mother. It's not something I truly enjoy but I find it better than being homeless.
I've had a rough relationship with my mom for almost my entire life, to some points she tends to get violent and aggresive over what I consider ''unimportant stuff'', but, however, that has gotten worse and worse since she's started using substances, very often, all of a sudden. I don't mean to judge anyone that does so, but seeing my own mother gradually decrease the quality of her life is just sickening, not to mention the effects it has on me. What I'm scared the most is of her finding out something she's not supposed to and snapping at me. I've taken uncountable slaps and hits and even been humiliated by her but I'm afraid this time it could end up worse.
That's why I want to get myself into a hospital rather than have her get me in a hospital. I'm talking about at least a 1 week stay until I find someway to help the situation, I'm in a little panic right now so it's hard to think every option straight but this one seems the best temporary solution. We have health insurance so it wouldn't be a problem. I just need a quick way to get hospitalized with minimal damage that could be permanent. What's a succesful way I could use to get myself in a hospital without a lot of permanent damage? So far my ideas would be OD, but I'm not experienced in the domain so I'm unsure what kind of pills to take, a bigger self-harm attempt, but not certain if that could get me to stay more than a few hours, or starving myself for a while until I can no longer stay conscious. I've done the last one before but I'm not sure if I still have the willpower.
Any suggestion is welcomed!
I'm gonna be honest, I miss spending weeks at a time in a hospital, just for the sake of the peace, but more important than that I'm facing a really uncomfortable situation. I don't feel safe in my own home. I am 19F (soon to be 20) and I still live with my mother. It's not something I truly enjoy but I find it better than being homeless.
I've had a rough relationship with my mom for almost my entire life, to some points she tends to get violent and aggresive over what I consider ''unimportant stuff'', but, however, that has gotten worse and worse since she's started using substances, very often, all of a sudden. I don't mean to judge anyone that does so, but seeing my own mother gradually decrease the quality of her life is just sickening, not to mention the effects it has on me. What I'm scared the most is of her finding out something she's not supposed to and snapping at me. I've taken uncountable slaps and hits and even been humiliated by her but I'm afraid this time it could end up worse.
That's why I want to get myself into a hospital rather than have her get me in a hospital. I'm talking about at least a 1 week stay until I find someway to help the situation, I'm in a little panic right now so it's hard to think every option straight but this one seems the best temporary solution. We have health insurance so it wouldn't be a problem. I just need a quick way to get hospitalized with minimal damage that could be permanent. What's a succesful way I could use to get myself in a hospital without a lot of permanent damage? So far my ideas would be OD, but I'm not experienced in the domain so I'm unsure what kind of pills to take, a bigger self-harm attempt, but not certain if that could get me to stay more than a few hours, or starving myself for a while until I can no longer stay conscious. I've done the last one before but I'm not sure if I still have the willpower.
Any suggestion is welcomed!