Discussion Need some way to kill my emotions

[CrazyDiamond04]

I've been thinking of suppressing my emotions in order to better function. I have a bad tendency of overthinking and panicking in a lot of situations. I think that trying to be more stoic and "kill" the more emotional side of me will be beneficial to me in the long run. I'm trying to expose myself to more triggering stimuli in order to lessen my reaction to them but I'm not sure how effective it's been.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Emotions are the enemy. I would love to turn down the volume on my emotions too.
I often wonder what life would be like if we were emotionally neutral all the time.
I would prefer to be emotionally neutral because most emotions are useless and often cause unnecessary suffering and trouble .

 

[Dot]

I've been thinking of suppressing my emotions in order to better function. I have a bad tendency of overthinking and panicking in a lot of situations. I think that trying to be more stoic and "kill" the more emotional side of me will be beneficial to me in the long run. I'm trying to expose myself to more triggering stimuli in order to lessen my reaction to them but I'm not sure how effective it's been.

1 problm wth pushng thngs dwn = tht emotns wll fnd sme wy 2 cme out in a wrst wy l8tr

Thre r mre recvry rsourcs b-ing addd t/ sectn atm - possbly thre mght b smethng in thm whch cld gve a healthr altrn8tve

 

[sadwriter]

1 problm wth pushng thngs dwn = tht emotns wll fnd sme wy 2 cme out in a wrst wy l8tr

Yeah, I learned this the hard way. It only made things worse in the long run. (That didn't stop me from continuing to try & ignore my emotions to this day though, lol.)

 

[satomii]

I've been thinking of suppressing my emotions in order to better function. I have a bad tendency of overthinking and panicking in a lot of situations. I think that trying to be more stoic and "kill" the more emotional side of me will be beneficial to me in the long run. I'm trying to expose myself to more triggering stimuli in order to lessen my reaction to them but I'm not sure how effective it's been.

Ive tried doing the same I just don't know it's like a switch I can just turn it off... And not think about anything and rot in my room Or do whatever I was doing I just tell my brain to stop feeling anything

 

[Why am i still here]

you could try pills if your trying to stay away from SH or even smoke
BUT you might get addicted so your choice (i also feel like this sometimes :)

 

[poisonedminds]

i wish this was possible (in a sustainable way) but it's a highway to addiction, which will quickly make you worse & less functional

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Antipsychotics can do this

 

[distropian_]

Stoicism isn't about killing your emotions, it's about recognizing what you are feeling then choosing to not let them control you. Stoicism teaches you to respond to life rather than react to it. The dichotomy of control is a core concept in stoicism, focusing on what you can control and not worrying about what you can't control. Ultimately you can't run from emotions, but you CAN absolutely control them, self-mastery is the only way to true peace. An example would be if someone were to insult you, you wouldn't be able to change that, but you can choose to simply ignore it instead of getting angry and spending the next 20 minutes arguing with that person.
Can you control something? -> no -> then why worry?
Can you control something? -> yes -> then why worry?
I've been practicing stoicism for quite a while now and I can tell you that it absolutely helps, especially in stressful situations

 

[BeforeYouFallAsleep]

I can share my experience. I've been almost completely emotionless for the past 2 years after I had an emotional breakdown for 3 days. It is interesting to see how both extremes are fucking awful. I really know how it feels to have your emotions cranked to 1000% but having none at all is at least as bad if not worse.
It does help short-term but after some time you crave to feel SOMETHING, give me pain and sadness I DON'T CARE as long as it's something. This never-ending TV static, this void of emotions is hard to explain, especially for someone who experiences the exact opposite but I would like to feel something again...

And in case you're wondering how I lost them. I watched an Anime that had many correlations to my past and built up emotions/wishes/thoughts and after it ended I just broke down until my brain started to "protect" me, by shutting them off

 

[Cloud Busting]

For me, accepting my feelings is what works. I don't judge myself for how I feel. I just sit with it. As an example: If I'm feeling suicidal, I'm not a bad person. It's understandable I feel that way considering my circumstances. That actually helps; beating myself up makes me feel like I deserve to die and everything.

I'm joining local meditation groups in my area and am hoping studying Buddhism will make this easier. Being in the moment is a real struggle for me, so I'm trying to practice being more mindful. I've recently discovered the concept of radical acceptance and I like it a lot.

I have long wished I was a machine, or emotionless, because it would make life easier, and not turn me into an impulsive or avoidant monster.




Is the answer to kill these things, or learn to be at peace with them and not let them control you?

 

[Dot]

For me, accepting my feelings is what works. I don't judge myself for how I feel. I just sit with it. As an example: If I'm feeling suicidal, I'm not a bad person. It's understandable I feel that way considering my circumstances. That actually helps; beating myself up makes me feel like I deserve to die and everything.

I'm joining local meditation groups in my area and am hoping studying Buddhism will make this easier. Being in the moment is a real struggle for me, so I'm trying to practice being more mindful. I've recently discovered the concept of radical acceptance and I like it a lot.

I have long wished I was a machine, or emotionless, because it would make life easier, and not turn me into an impulsive or avoidant monster.




Is the answer to kill these things, or learn to be at peace with them and not let them control you?

Thre r sme rsourcs on th/ Wrkshts & wrkbks & th/ Therpy Methds Xplaind threds abt smethng calld Acceptnce & Cmmitmnt Therpy or 'ACT' whch gves tools 2 d/ xactly ths

Thre = also a lnk t/ a free shrt onlne intrductry crse on hw 2 lern ACT - in cse = usefl

 

[BLEH:3]

Look i do not recommend this as it costs a lot of money depending on where you get it, it can have serious side effects aside from what you want and you also have to hide it and a lot of other bullshit but, ketamine did it for me, 6 weeks straight then i stopped for a week cause i had a trip then another 5 weeks then 1 week tollerance break and did another 4 weeks. Emotions mostly gone and my brain is just fried. Don't recommend it for the reasons listed above but i don't know any other way

 

[lionetta12]

I've been thinking of suppressing my emotions in order to better function. I have a bad tendency of overthinking and panicking in a lot of situations. I think that trying to be more stoic and "kill" the more emotional side of me will be beneficial to me in the long run. I'm trying to expose myself to more triggering stimuli in order to lessen my reaction to them but I'm not sure how effective it's been.

You can go to a doctor and ask for CNS depressant medicine, also known as «downers, zombie pills» as they numb feelings and they can also help with sleep issues sometimes depending on which CNS depressant med you're on.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Thre r sme rsourcs on th/ Wrkshts & wrkbks & th/ Therpy Methds Xplaind threds abt smethng calld Acceptnce & Cmmitmnt Therpy or 'ACT' whch gves tools 2 d/ xactly ths

Thre = also a lnk t/ a free shrt onlne intrductry crse on hw 2 lern ACT - in cse = usefl

ACT is pretty cool. I had an ACT therapist when I was 19 but my mom was footing the bill and didn't like her, so she didn't let me go anymore (I didn't have a license so I relied on her for rides there.)

I kind of just blend whatever therapy methods work for me. I've found use in CBT (and DBT and ACT, which are derivatives,) and exposure therapy mostly. Thanks for sharing, as I may look into those worksheets!

Radical acceptance is actually a dbt principle, interestingly enough. Tara Brach advocates for it and has written a book on it, though I haven't read it yet.

 

[Dot]

ACT is pretty cool. I had an ACT therapist when I was 19 but my mom was footing the bill and didn't like her, so she didn't let me go anymore (I didn't have a license so I relied on her for rides there.)

I kind of just blend whatever therapy methods work for me. I've found use in CBT (and DBT and ACT, which are derivatives,) and exposure therapy mostly. Thanks for sharing, as I may look into those worksheets!

Radical acceptance is actually a dbt principle, interestingly enough. Tara Brach advocates for it and has written a book on it, though I haven't read it yet.

Yh ACT & DBT r considrd prt of th/ '3rd wve' of cogntve thrpies bcse thy inclde mndflnss & accptnce

Anothr in th/ sme grp = MBCT or Mndflnss Basd Cogntve Thrpy & slf wll b addng sme info on tht 1 also shrtly

 

[Cloud Busting]

Yh ACT & DBT r considrd prt of th/ '3rd wve' of cogntve thrpies bcse thy inclde mndflnss & accptnce

Anothr in th/ sme grp = MBCT or Mndflnss Basd Cogntve Thrpy & slf wll b addng sme info on tht 1 also shrtly

I haven't heard of that one. Sounds interesting.

I recently learned of internal family systems, which is kinda cool too.

Acceptance and mindfulness is literally what helps me… aha… just being a passive observer in this life, and going with the flow, shit happens, have a curious mind about it

I used to want to kill feelings, but I'm shifting to not wanting them to kill me

 

[refused]

I used to want to kill feelings, but I'm shifting to not wanting them to kill me

Trying to get to this place myself. Hard stuff.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

For me, accepting my feelings is what works. I don't judge myself for how I feel. I just sit with it. As an example: If I'm feeling suicidal, I'm not a bad person. It's understandable I feel that way considering my circumstances. That actually helps; beating myself up makes me feel like I deserve to die and everything.

I'm joining local meditation groups in my area and am hoping studying Buddhism will make this easier. Being in the moment is a real struggle for me, so I'm trying to practice being more mindful. I've recently discovered the concept of radical acceptance and I like it a lot.

I have long wished I was a machine, or emotionless, because it would make life easier, and not turn me into an impulsive or avoidant monster.




Is the answer to kill these things, or learn to be at peace with them and not let them control you?

You're right. It's just extremely difficult to manage a lot of the emotions; it's a war that never seems to truly end, y'know? I've been trying to get my anxiety under control and it's a massive pain in the ass. I think I've gotten marginally better with it but still, it's just exhausting.

 

[Dot]

I haven't heard of that one. Sounds interesting.

I recently learned of internal family systems, which is kinda cool too.

Acceptance and mindfulness is literally what helps me… aha… just being a passive observer in this life, and going with the flow, shit happens, have a curious mind about it

I used to want to kill feelings, but I'm shifting to not wanting them to kill me

IFS = intrstng bt 2 fddly fr slf prerfrncs

Slf hve persnlly alwys bn drwn mre t/ mndflnss & somatcs rathr thn 2 mch anlysng

Am nt agnst anlysng in genrl bt IFS spnds mch tme 'in own hed' fr slf

 

[Cloud Busting]

Trying to get to this place myself. Hard stuff.

It is. I keep slipping up, but it's part of the journey. Getting out of a beating yourself up cycle for experiencing crap emotions, or accepting your crap emotions and not reacting to them in a destructive way isn't something you just do overnight. It's a difficult and gradual process. I keep trying because I think mastering it eventually will be worth it.

You're right. It's just extremely difficult to manage a lot of the emotions; it's a war that never seems to truly end, y'know? I've been trying to get my anxiety under control and it's a massive pain in the ass. I think I've gotten marginally better with it but still, it's just exhausting.

I get it. Emotions are exhausting. I wish I was a machine, or a psychopath. Would make life easier for sure.

But then I wonder, is it really my emotions, or how I react to them?

Spoiler: "personal example"

I went to church (Unitarian universalist) on Sunday. We had circle group; the discussion was beauty.

I was so nervous… I was about to take the mic but I couldn't tell if someone else wanted to and I was awkwardly deciding if it was my turn or not… the guy sitting next to me had to help me get the mic cuz I was alternating between grabbing it and going back to my seat

So social anxiety really kicked in and I fumbled over my words and spilled my coffee

Oh my god I wanted to never return… but then the man took the mic and actually agreed with what I said and expanded on it. The lady who gave me a napkin was kind, and I made a friend and they were like, "you did great, you were just nervous!"

Also turns outs the guy who helped me with the mic and liked my thoughts on beauty despite the awkward delivery is the leader of the meditation group there and really hopes I attend it next Sunday before service

So… my anxiety wasn't the killer… it was how I reacted to it, as everyone else was proud I said my peace despite being so anxious… whereas I was humiliated cuz I thought I made a fool out of myself

So I allowed my anxiety to be an exhausting experience when no one else thought anything of it haha

 

[refused]

@Cloud Busting

That's awesome that you saw that experience through. Thanks for sharing that. It most certainly is not an over-the-night process. I find myself wondering how many years are required to master these thoughts and behaviors of mine. It is a journey for sure

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

It is. I keep slipping up, but it's part of the journey. Getting out of a beating yourself up cycle for experiencing crap emotions, or accepting your crap emotions and not reacting to them in a destructive way isn't something you just do overnight. It's a difficult and gradual process. I keep trying because I think mastering it eventually will be worth it.



I get it. Emotions are exhausting. I wish I was a machine, or a psychopath. Would make life easier for sure.

But then I wonder, is it really my emotions, or how I react to them?

Spoiler: "personal example"

I went to church (Unitarian universalist) on Sunday. We had circle group; the discussion was beauty.

I was so nervous… I was about to take the mic but I couldn't tell if someone else wanted to and I was awkwardly deciding if it was my turn or not… the guy sitting next to me had to help me get the mic cuz I was alternating between grabbing it and going back to my seat

So social anxiety really kicked in and I fumbled over my words and spilled my coffee

Oh my god I wanted to never return… but then the man took the mic and actually agreed with what I said and expanded on it. The lady who gave me a napkin was kind, and I made a friend and they were like, "you did great, you were just nervous!"

Also turns outs the guy who helped me with the mic and liked my thoughts on beauty despite the awkward delivery is the leader of the meditation group there and really hopes I attend it next Sunday before service

So… my anxiety wasn't the killer… it was how I reacted to it, as everyone else was proud I said my peace despite being so anxious… whereas I was humiliated cuz I thought I made a fool out of myself

So I allowed my anxiety to be an exhausting experience when no one else thought anything of it haha

Awww, that's a sweet example. It's nice to have such understanding people like that. I think that's also my biggest fear as well, making a fool of myself (Which, to be fair, I do pretty often but still).

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

If you havent yet, I'd consider looking into a acid trip, MDMA and/or mushrooms. Those always help me out after prolonged bad mental episodes.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Awww, that's a sweet example. It's nice to have such understanding people like that. I think that's also my biggest fear as well, making a fool of myself (Which, to be fair, I do pretty often but still).

My biggest fears (in no particular order) are making a fool out of myself, rejection, failure, and losing control.

Idk about you but anxiety is like my core problem that exacerbates my low self-esteem and depression. Every depressive episode is preceded by increased stress/anxiety, and I hate it. So tiring.

And I just try to be like, "yeah you're gonna be batshit terrified. And it will get easier with practice."

No pain no gain… I gotta feel discomfort in order to overcome the fear. It's not easy and I find myself avoiding more so than not

It took me til 28 to get a drivers license in America and three months to stop having intrusive thoughts about swerving the car or having near panic attacks… anxiety sux

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

My biggest fears (in no particular order) are making a fool out of myself, rejection, failure, and losing control.

Idk about you but anxiety is like my core problem that exacerbates my low self-esteem and depression. Every depressive episode is preceded by increased stress/anxiety, and I hate it. So tiring.

And I just try to be like, "yeah you're gonna be batshit terrified. And it will get easier with practice."

No pain no gain… I gotta feel discomfort in order to overcome the fear. It's not easy and I find myself avoiding more so than not

It took me til 28 to get a drivers license in America and three months to stop having intrusive thoughts about swerving the car or having near panic attacks… anxiety sux

I definitely feel you there. If I ever do end up CTBing it'll be because of my anxiety; it's my Achilles heel. The tiring aspect is the worst! Sometimes the stress is so bad that I can almost literally feel myself aging from it! And I'm always exhausted afterwards.