Method Need some technical advice on jumping

[sad_delulu]

Hey everyone! My first post on this forum. Been thinking to put a venting prefix, as I'm going to vent for a bit, but mainly need advice for a method.

Due to being limited in resources (mostly willpower) I was considering two mostly available methods for me: jumping and partial hanging. I've ruled out partial hanging, after trying to faint myself a few times and figuring out I'm too pussy for that. At least with jumping I will only require one burst of courage to finish it all. I have access to a window at 19th floor, which from what I've read should be sufficient considering landing at something solid. I have a couple of questions though if anybody is willing to help:

1. The 'landing zone' is not very big in area and I'm a little worried I might land on something softer/hit the wall or the car. Would appreciate materials/calculations on how to jump properly to land in the solid zone. Or how do I understand if there's enough place to land reliably? How vertical will the flight be? Should I push myself off the building and how strong?
2. While method is very reliable in theory, I failed to gather any statistics other anecdotes of people surviving after their parachute hadn't open. What are the odds here? I think if there's a significant risk, I might push myself for car decapitation method, which in my understanding should be like 100% reliable with the proper rope, anchor and speed.
3. Is there a way to increase chances/speed up death in case of unlucky landing? I have no balls nor skills to ensure head landing. So I'm afraid of having a couple of terrible minutes before I die or worse turning into a vegetable. I was thinking of doing something like a knot around my neck (like a tourniquet method) right before jumping? Was also considering stabbing myself in the neck before the jump, but don't believe I could ever pull that off.

Thank you for your replies and advice in advance! Sorry for my English if something is off, I'm not a native speaker.

Spoiler: Venting part for those who for some reason feels like reading it

It feels like so many thoughts, but actually I'm just ruminating around a small subset of thoughts. She was cheating on me for the last 3 months. That was a hit, of course. But she wanted to stay, promised to change. I didn't listen, I forced her out. Now she's most likely with that other guy she was telling me is nothing and she only wanted to be with me, but blah-blah-blah. To be honest, I was thinking about suicide for a long time before that. I almost took this event as a gift, as now I had proper reason to divorce. I thought I was going to regenerate and get some of my vitality back once I'm left alone and without her problems. But I was wrong. It doesn't get better. I don't want her back but I'm still hurt by the events.
I had a previous attempt as well, after which I was sent to a mental hospital and it was a truly terrifying experience. That taught me if you're going to try, you better succeed.
And my job. I'm an IT guy and God what a bullshit we're doing. Almost everyone is pretty nice to me and overall, but I just can't stand that low performance, useless meetings, ambiguity. I could be literally skipping weeks or maybe even months of work and nothing would have changed, literally nothing. I believe that's true for most of my colleagues. What kind of welfare is that?
And finally myself. I feel destroyed. I felt smart some years ago, but now I understand that I'm a borderline idiot. I can't manage my life, my job, nothing. I do not have any goals. And every day is just the pain and shame of not being able to achieve anything. So I do hope this is finally it. Like many on this forum I've been reading for a couple of days, I am very afraid of the process of dying, but ironically it requires one of the things I wasn't able to accept in life - taking risks. So even for killing myself I have to push myself and get better in it for a few seconds.

 

[sad_delulu]

UPD: did some research on what I can get here in terms of pills. Looks like Diphenhydramine (dimedrol) is kinda available here and ChatGPT suggests that doses over 1000mg are considered lethal for adults, which is just 20 pills to swallow. Thinking to mix with vodka (increases lethality as well) right before jump. Should play two roles for me:

• Help me jump in the first place (as a reason not to go potentially painful and less guaranteed poisoning route)
• I assume it should be practically zero chance of survival with that cocktail in my blood + jump

In my previous attempt many years ago, I passed out on the ladder after mixing baclofen with alcohol. I wanted to try being sober this time just for the sake of really making a decision, but looks like a little motivation + some guarantees of the result is what I'm going for.

 

[Douggy82]

UPD: did some research on what I can get here in terms of pills. Looks like Diphenhydramine (dimedrol) is kinda available here and ChatGPT suggests that doses over 1000mg are considered lethal for adults, which is just 20 pills to swallow. Thinking to mix with vodka (increases lethality as well) right before jump. Should play two roles for me:

• Help me jump in the first place (as a reason not to go potentially painful and less guaranteed poisoning route)
• I assume it should be practically zero chance of survival with that cocktail in my blood + jump

In my previous attempt many years ago, I passed out on the ladder after mixing baclofen with alcohol. I wanted to try being sober this time just for the sake of really making a decision, but looks like a little motivation + some guarantees of the result is what I'm going for.

Take Diphenhydramine off your list. It's very unlikely to cause death at any dosage. It's also likely to cause damage to your body. I think this might have even been added to stickies on the site.

 

[sad_delulu]

It's very unlikely to cause death at any dosage

Just ordered this and refreshed the page. Money is whatever at this stage of course.
Do you think it's useless even if used not as method itself, but as a safety (lol) net for the main method? My assumption here it will be harder for doctors to save me in a vegetable form if they encounter not only fall trauma, but also a poisoning of some kind, even though it may be not that lethal by itself.
And I do still see the value as a final push, because SI won't be triggered so much by just drinking, but ending up in mental hospital again I hope scares me enough.

AI's are so unreliable for that! Thank you for your comment

 

[sad_delulu]

Few hours of dark left and hopefully a few hours of me. I'm really craving for attention there to be honest and hate myself for that. Luckily this shame ends

 

[Romanticize]

dude, DO NOT even try to OD on diphenhydramine [DPH] - it's very unreliable, and gives horrible physical and mental effects when overdosed. Don't even use it as a "side" drug, dont use any drug which can be lethal, the only drugs to OD are CNS depressants

 

[sad_delulu]

Do you assume the risk of me not doing the jump in the end? Or am I not right that this OD should lower the chance of me being a vegetable after the jump?

 

[Rynalia]

Looks like Diphenhydramine (dimedrol) is kinda available here and ChatGPT suggests that doses over 1000mg are considered lethal for adults, which is just 20 pills to swallow.

Just a plug on this specific part.

I've abused DPH with doses above a gram and chased with alcohol quite a few times. Definitely not as lethal as you would expect.

Worlds of fucked during usage and pretty damaging after the fact though!

Seriously, don't fuck with DPH. (You don't want to live to feel the consequences.)

 

[Lostandfound82]

UPD: did some research on what I can get here in terms of pills. Looks like Diphenhydramine (dimedrol) is kinda available here and ChatGPT suggests that doses over 1000mg are considered lethal for adults, which is just 20 pills to swallow. Thinking to mix with vodka (increases lethality as well) right before jump. Should play two roles for me:

• Help me jump in the first place (as a reason not to go potentially painful and less guaranteed poisoning route)
• I assume it should be practically zero chance of survival with that cocktail in my blood + jump

In my previous attempt many years ago, I passed out on the ladder after mixing baclofen with alcohol. I wanted to try being sober this time just for the sake of really making a decision, but looks like a little motivation + some guarantees of the result is what I'm going for.

Please don't use diphenhydramine as a method it should definitely be listed as a non method. I have taken doses higher than that amount and it causes some really terrifying hallucinations plus some scary physical complications. It becomes a deliriant at high doses like that and will more than likely cause unwanted trauma.

 

[ALonelyFreak]

I'm sorry but jumping isnt very easy I know from experience I had the possibility to just jump and I didnt use it

 

[sad_delulu]

Okay, thanks everyone for advice! I'm finally over with watching useless youtube and hopefully going for it. If I don't come back and you need a confirmation - male at Batumi, Georgia. Dunno if it's gonna be on the any news though. Otherwise I will return to tell you what a pathetic pussy I was once again
Not using DPH in the end. GPT suggests to tie my legs to slightly increase probability/speed of the lethal outcome. Good luck everyone, thanks for that place to hang around for my last hours where I've met at least someone who's feeling the similar pain. Makes me feel not so selfish
By the way, some info I was able to extract from ChatGPT (if you believe it) says that falling from 19th floor is almost guaranteed almost painless oneshot. Especially if you manage to land on your head. But that's what really hard to manage. Anyway, should be >99% lethal if you consider the height and falling onto the solid ground, like asphalt/concrete

 

[Lyn]

Okay, thanks everyone for advice! I'm finally over with watching useless youtube and hopefully going for it. If I don't come back and you need a confirmation - male at Batumi, Georgia. Dunno if it's gonna be on the any news though. Otherwise I will return to tell you what a pathetic pussy I was once again

Once I was considering jumping from Orbi while I was still there... But I wasn't completely done yet at that time and didn't have the guts, unfortunately. And the landing spot seemed to be a bit off.
There is nothing pathetic in backing out, jumping is not that easy.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish you peace no matter what.