astrichaoz
And if I were someone else, would this be easier?
- Apr 15, 2024
- 30
Hello everyone, I need some advice. So, my SN has been ordered and it's on the way. I really hope it gets here and nothing happens to it. I can't wait, I've had multiple attempts before and I really feel like this is the one this time that's gonna work, I feel it in my bones. I don't think anyone is gonna get in my way this time. I'm ready to go. The only issue is my younger brother has a birthday near the end of February. I was waiting for that to pass to CTB, but I don't know anymore. I want to leave now. Im in a lot of pain everyday. I'm barely eating, I'm not doing my coursework for college, not paying attention in classes. I give up. I need this to end. But...he's turning 16 and he's already struggling with his own mental health problems, he's suicidal too. I don't want this to ruin anything for him. He deserves a good birthday, but I don't know. I'm in a lot of pain. I planned to end my life on March 13th, but I don't think I can wait much longer. I know this is a choice I have to make alone, but what would you guys do if you were in my situation? Im worried too that it's gonna make everyone miserable too and he won't really get to celebrate. What I'm doing is already considered selfish, so in my mind I'm just like...why not be a little more selfish and end it early? I don't know. Any insight would be appreciated, thanks.