Method Need some advice on my plan (firearm)

[TAW122]

Disclaimer: This will be a very long post as it shows the plan in detail and covers every aspect, from planning, obtaining, and finally, the attempt.

I have decided on using firearms as my method, and for some people, obtaining one and then being able to find a time and location for it is easy. However, for me, given my circumstances and situation, it is harder than I imagined. With that said, here are some facts about me.

I have Aspergers syndrome and social anxiety, which makes my interactions between people really awkward. That alone makes it difficult to hide any suspicions or red flags, not even counting other behaviors. I don't live alone currently as I have a few roommates. In the coming month or so, two of my roommates will move out, which makes it a little bit easier, but not by much, especially when the owner and the other roommate is around very oftenly. To make matters worse, since they live with me and the people close to me, know that I am not normal and am depressed, just not suicidal. Therefore, I cannot let them find out that I am planning to own a firearm nor that I have one (whenever I get access to them).

In the recent weeks, the people around me know that I'm depressed due to life circumstances and other situational depression causes. They also know that I'm quite moody, so I will not follow through with my plan until things have cooled down. I also don't want to wait to long and miss an open window of opportunity. I've considered gun shows around my state as well as my budget. I can afford a long gun as well as some basic accessories with it, like bullets, additional magazines, range bag, etc.

Additional facts are that I have never been arrested, detained, nor convicted of any crimes. I have also never been adjudicated mentally defective nor involuntarily committed to a mental institution. Furthermore, I don't do illegal drugs either. Thus, I am very confident I can pass a background check.

The Plan

Part I: Acquiring the Firearm

I know my local and state laws regarding the kind of guns that I am allowed to own as well as the process it takes to get one, so I'm set in that aspect. However, knowing that I must go through human interaction face to face, and that I have social anxiety as well as Aspergers (some weird quirks or behaviors), I'm afraid they might go with their gut feeling and just decide to deny the sale of the firearm to me.

In my state, handguns require a pistol purchase permit, which requires me to go through with the Sheriff of the county that I live in, which is an extra process in and of itself, being at the mercy of the Sheriff him/herself. There are some counties that are more stringent and require references (non-family), or extremely long waiting periods. Then assuming that I get the permit (after BG checks and application as well as vetting), then I would be able to go to a gun store/gun show to purchase a pistol, which the former (gun store) requires a background check.

Thus, I'm choosing the long gun route as my state has fewer hoops to jump through to get it. All it takes is an valid ID (Driver's License), filling out the appropriate form (ATF 4473), and getting a NICS background check (which should come clean), and no waiting period. The vast majority of people who have purchased firearms walk out the same day they purchased it, after they cleared the background check.

Part II: Hiding The Firearm while waiting

So after I've obtained said firearm, the problem arises of transporting it back to where I live and also hiding it from my roommates and owner of the house. Before anyone criticizes me about thinking about secretly storing a firearm in my own room where I'm renting from, the owner isn't really against gun rights, but I'd rather just avoid having to explain why I bought a gun (legally and well within my rights). Since the owner knows my situation, I'm afraid it would be hard to negotiate or explain things when I actually obtain a firearm, even for legitimate reasons.

It may be easier with only one roommate and the owner, and I understand that since I'm renting from the owner and technically, the owner can evict me if she wants to, it's something I want to avoid if there is way around it.

I have considered storage spaces and areas where I can store my firearm, but that brings up logistical issues, such as whether the storage facility will allow firearms, climate control (must avoid humidity more than anything), and also accessing the firearm without arousing suspicion (imagine just carrying a long gun into the trunk).

The other caveat is when transporting the firearm from my car into the house and vice versa. I suppose I could try to use the veil of darkness (night time) as the area I live in isn't really dangerous, but there just might be some unscrupulous people at odd times of the night, plus neighbors might get nosy too.

Part III: Getting To the Location (Transit and Set up)

So after hiding the firearm until it's time to use it, I am having some issues finding a secluded location, where I will be alone by myself, without interference, and also getting to the location without raising red flags. I've considered a motel/hotel room, but some motels and hotels may not allow firearms. Also, I don't want to draw attention to said luggage if I am carrying a long gun.

I've considered disassembling the gun so it is easier to put into different bags and transport it (afaik, the only part in a sporting rifle that is considered a firearm is the lower receiver, so laws in regards to transporting it will be tightly regulated - it is treated like a firearm even though it is just a component, therefore it must be in the trunk while in transport unless one has concealed weapons permit).

I have also considered the woods and other rural areas, but I don't really have any ideas of "really" rural areas and what they are. There are likely going to be people around and about during those areas, and any strange behaviors could raise suspicions and alarms. I've considered mountains and camp sites but don't really have much ideas beyond that.

Part IV: The Attempt Itself

The final part is doing the deed, and once I made it this far, then only the survival instinct and making sure there are no interventions or interferences while attempting. I will also have to account for things like gun jams, or technical difficulties, so I must be discreet while being effective. The more time and obstacles I can put between myself (hopefully a corpse after the attempt) and first responders as well as anyone who would try to "save" me the better. It is a shame that I might not be able to practice and have to succeed on first try, but I've done my homework in regards to where to shoot and which caliber is sufficient. I have also decide to add some things for further insurance of a successful attempt, which includes delaying responses and making it difficult for them to get to me fast.

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I'm probably overthinking this, but given that I only have one attempt on this and cannot afford any screw ups (during acquisition and attempt), I want to make sure I'm about as close to 100% of succeeding as possible. I may be paranoid, but it's better to be too careful than to even be careless, because one slip up and everything goes to shit and the plan is ruined.

With that said, I must also have an alibi for times when things don't work out, or suspicions arise. This is important in all the parts of the process, from buying the firearm, to hiding it, and finally to using it.

If anyone has any advice or suggestions that will help me in my situation, feel free to post and let me know. If I'm too vague on certain parts, it's done so I don't reveal any identifying information out on the Internet as it's too risky to do so.

 

[Oblivion]

oh man, no one's going to read that, we're all just a bunch of depressed individuals

 

[useless]

The rest of your plan is good, but the beginning is flawed. You're not going to be able to acquire a firearm if you act "off." The dealer's not going to sell to you.

If you can wait a while longer: dedicate a few months* to curing your social anxiety. You can do this with self-help books and practice in public. By the end of it, you'll be able to talk calmly with strangers, and not screw up important encounters (like buying a gun). You need to seem relaxed and confident, which is impossible if you're tensed up, clammy, stuttering, and can't make eye contact.

After more suicides at gun ranges, organizations have been educating range/shop keepers on who looks depressed, and what questions to ask if they're suspicious. Unless you can find someone to privately sell to you (check armslist for that), you probably won't be shooting yourself any time soon. Better to have patience and get it right than to waste your chance on guaranteed failure.

*It only took me that long, and I was hikikomori for years. I couldn't answer the door. I ran away if someone said "hi." Even posting online gave me panic attacks. You can interact with people; it should take you even less time to get rid of yours.

oh man, no one's going to read that, we're all just a bunch of depressed individuals

Seconded, I skimmed. So many words fry my brain.

I don't really have any ideas of "really" rural areas

Use google maps.

the problem arises of transporting it back to where I live and also hiding it from my roommates and owner of the house.

Why not keep it in the trunk?

 

[atwasoa]

Buy a gun
Hide it in your room where none of your friend allowed to use.
Go to a below average hotel or camping site
Do it.
Your situation doent look challengic as you May think.
Majority of the users dont have access to firearms. Wich is considerably more preffered/easy way to ctb.

 

[TAW122]

@Oblivion
I think I went overboard with the post, but I was more afraid of missing any important details and not knowing what to do. In the future, I will strive to be more concise while hitting all the main points.

@useless
Thanks for your thorough response. Reading what you mentioned has given me hope. I still have at least another 2 months before I decide to go through with it, and I can wait until the next gunshow (should be in October sometime). Personally, I can interact with people, and even though I feel ok (yet anxious or nervous), sometimes I just don't know how others will see me (even if in my mind I feel confident). I do talk a bit quiet though, but I make an effort to appear normal (or as normal as I can).

Thanks for the confidence boost and I'm hoping I am able to pass off as being somewhat normal but not too aloof. Two things I want to ask are: If I'm questioned to why I'd want a rifle instead of a shotgun, pistol, or any other firearm in general, would saying target shooting be sufficient and the fact the rifle has less recoil than a shotgun and most pistols be sufficient? Also, what alibi could I use if someone close to me ever finds out that I own a firearm (I will try my best to hide it), and asks tough questions? I will try to not give off any signs of depression or aloofness (easier said than done), but they know my financial situation (currently unemployed, some savings, enough to last a few months before going broke and homeless) and I don't want them to think I'm either irresponsible with money, priorities, or any hints that I'm going to kill myself at some point in the future?

Final remark regarding the trunk, well I wouldn't want to leave it in the trunk at all times because if I live a normal life (as in doing everyday, daily stuff, travelling around, I don't want to leave a firearm in the trunk and in some areas, having a firearm around the premises is illegal) during the interim, I don't want to have an expensive piece of tool just in my trunk. Also, I would need to take it out of the packaging before the time I actually use it.

@atwasoa
You're probably right that I'm overthinking this, it's usually the critical parts of my plan that I'm mostly worried about, such as the human interaction (knowing what to say, having an alibi or explanation when questioned), and hiding the weapon from the owner and roommates (so this way I would not even need to explain anything to begin with). Once I get through those parts, then finding the location and time would be the easiest part of my plan.

 

[useless]

I do talk a bit quiet though

To speak louder and clearer, read a book aloud to yourself every day. Speak from the diaphragm, and fix your posture. Try to move your face and emote while you talk, it helps with enunciation.

If I'm questioned to why I'd want a rifle instead of a shotgun, pistol, or any other firearm in general, would saying target shooting be sufficient and the fact the rifle has less recoil than a shotgun and most pistols be sufficient?

Target shooting sounds like a good excuse. Look up nearby gun ranges and mention you've been considering one of them, if you must. It may draw out the purchase, but try to act like you're new to the hobby and really want to enjoy it; ask for reccommendations you'll never use, tips for beginners, the owner's preferences. You just want to come off as normal and casual as possible. Don't bring up recoil unless they do first.

what alibi could I use if someone close to me ever finds out that I own a firearm (I will try my best to hide it), and asks tough questions?

Say you want it for self defense. If you're going to be homeless soon, it's plausible. Other than that, I don't know. I haven't figured out what to say if anyone finds out when I buy a gun, either. Don't get caught. Even if you do, and police confiscate it, you can go to the station at a later date, and they just give it back to you.

I wouldn't want to leave it in the trunk at all times because if I live a normal life (as in doing everyday, daily stuff, travelling around, I don't want to leave a firearm in the trunk and in some areas, having a firearm around the premises is illegal)

You could leave it in the trunk until a time when everyone's out of the house. If necessary, lure them out somehow. If you really need somewhere else to hide it, look for an abandoned wilderness area and bury it well, in a waterproof container.

 

[Kev]

I'm also planning on using a gun, and I am fortunate enough to live in a state with some of the least restrictive gun laws in the country so getting a pistol is no problem.

When purchasing the gun, try to limit interaction if you think they will become suspicious the more they interact with you. Just walk in, browse their selection, and ask to buy the one you want. If asked why you want it, just say you want to get into the hobby of shooting and/or make up some bullshit about how your friend got his house broken into and now you have been thinking about getting something for self defense. You want the transaction to be short, sweet, made with confidence, and straight to the point. Watch a good comedy movie or stand up right before so your mood is perkier. It's easy to act happy and relaxed if you have been laughing a lot. Maybe have a beer or two (don't over do it) before as well so you're more relaxed and you won't overthink things.

As a plan B, if they won't sell to you, you could just go to another gun shop and try again, or look online in your local area for private gun classified listings. I don't know what state you live in, so I don't know the gun laws, but generally the rules for buying a gun from a private seller are more relaxed than buying from a FFL. Also, a private seller is much less likely to give a shit if you seem "off" or whatever.

If someone you know asks you about why you have the gun, say the same thing you said to the dealer, e.g. want to get into the hobby, friend's house got broken into so you want self defense. If they pry or don't believe you, you can always act a little offended and say some shit about how this is a free country, 2nd amendment, shouldn't have to explain yourself, its your money you can do what you want with it, etc. Something along the lines of affirming that your story/reason is true, and saying if they don't believe you then that's their problem.

When it comes to transporting the gun, you could put it in a duffel bag or suitcase with some clothes and say you're going out of town or taking your duffel to the gym. This will also arouse less suspicion if you go to a hotel since it's perfectly normal to bring luggage with you.

If you want to avoid dealing with hiding and transportation entirely, you could go buy the gun immediately before you plan on driving to the location you want to CTB at.

Once you are alone in your car with the firearm in your possession in the truck, I think at this point you don't have to worry. A shot that is aimed roughly at the brain stem (right above the ears from the side or in between the eyes from the front), will absolutely guarantee instant, irrevocable death, especially with a rifle round. You don't need to worry about getting resuscitated, there is absolutely nothing modern medicine can do if your brainstem is nonfunctional. I'm planning on doing it in a hospital bathroom, surrounded by doctors, so they can retrieve my corpse quickly and harvest the organs because I want them to be donated, which I will express in a note. If you can, I would also urge you to maybe do it close to a hospital and bring a note saying "DNR: Do Not Resuscitate" and also that you want your organs to be harvested immediately for donation so that they don't waste time trying to save you. I figure at least this way we're doing some good for the world.

Either way, I wish you good luck and hope you find peace, one way or another.

 

[TAW122]

Things have changed for the time being. Temporarily life has improved, so this opens up some more options for my plan. Ultimately, I still would like to die (long term) and at least having a method available and accessible makes me much more relaxed and comfortable. So working with the laws in my state, NC, specifically, I've considered either going the buying gun parts (rifle) over the long course of time and then assembling it when I have it all, or maybe just buying the rifle itself. I've thought about this because the more money I can save while still being just as effective, the more flexibility I have in choosing the time and location as well as other minute details before I go.

So specifically with my amended plan. Would discreetly buying the firearm, say for a hobby/target shooting/collecting/educational purpose or something, and then storing it away (hidden) work? Then if people give me shit for it, I would then have an legitimate reason and right for owning a rifle. I would do everything I can to avoid anyone in my life to have knowledge that I own a firearm, but of course, it is always good to have an alibi or reasons if people decide to dig into details or question me.

This is something that I am planning to do over the course of months, especially if I'm going the DIY route and buying gun parts to assemble. Also, over the course of months (assuming people still have the impression that things are good for me) the odds of suspicion or them questioning me goes down. I will however need to remain vigilant and careful of my actions and demeanor if/when I own a firearm because I cannot afford them to link suicidality with firearm ownership.

Any thoughts on my changes to my plan?

 

[Quiet Jay]

1. When purchasing have some preprepared questions about the gun you are purchasing. 2. Make sure to stand up straight. 3. Look like you have your s*** together(Boots, Jeans, belt, work shirt). 4. How long is the firearm? You can use a cot bag to store the firearm if it isn't too long. There are discreet rifle bags online as well.

 

[TAW122]

I'm going for an modern sporting rifle, an ar15 specifically since it is a long gun that has more power than most pistols but also less recoil than a shotgun. Also, given my states laws on pistol purchases, a long gun is easier to obtain with less of the hassles of going through a pistol purchase permit or going through a concealed carry permit (which only applies to handguns).

Also, I've thought about suit bags for transporting rifles, but I don't know if that will be considered concealed when transporting it from a car to a house or vice versa? Anyways, a cot bag is also good too, I just need to make sure that I am not in violation of some concealed firearm law (because the last thing I want is getting into legal trouble and losing access to firearms).

Finally, I'm thinking that once I bought the rifle, I've also looked into disassembling it for easier transportation and getting around, this would mean that I can put other gun parts in other bags and only the lower receiver is considered the gun AFA the ATF or the authorities are concerned, and the rest of the components are just hunks of metal and plastic. Therefore, the lower receiver would still need to be stored legally but with only the LR alone, it should be easier to transport in a locked box. Then the other parts can go into luggage bags and other bags. How does that sound?