Venting Need a goddamn tape over my mouth!

[Cookiedough8956]

I cannot hide my feelings at all! I'm so envious of people who can. Its like once i get started i can't fucking stop. And i just blurt whatever the hell is on my mind, just going off.
I'm tired of ruining relationships this way. Its 100% my fault, and then when I come to apologize, i feel so bad, because I know the cycle will repeat. And the worst part, it was all a damn blur and it lasts so short. How many times will a person forgive me? Or brush it off? No wonder they all leave. I don't blame them one bit! I'd be tired of me too!

 

[kohaku]

I cannot hide my feelings at all! I'm so envious of people who can. Its like once i get started i can't fucking stop. And i just blurt whatever the hell is on my mind, just going off.
I'm tired of ruining relationships this way. Its 100% my fault, and then when I come to apologize, i feel so bad, because I know the cycle will repeat. And the worst part, it was all a damn blur and it lasts so short. How many times will a person forgive me? Or brush it off? No wonder they all leave. I don't blame them one bit! I'd be tired of me too!

I have BPD and also Asperger's which makes me have a HUGE thing for honesty and being blunt and I know how you feel. I can't control emotions, I can't bottle them up because they're so extreme. People have abandoned me for this a lot and it's always hell for me. It's the reason why I want to ctb, because this keeps going on forever.

 

[Marawa]

this has been said of me as well & now that I have physical mobility issues, I've been abandoned & abused. I really don't know what I do. I suspect that any hint of desperation repels some
Others I know were just users. it all just hurts

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I have BPD and also Asperger's which makes me have a HUGE thing for honesty and being blunt and I know how you feel. I can't control emotions, I can't bottle them up because they're so extreme. People have abandoned me for this a lot and it's always hell for me. It's the reason why I want to ctb, because this keeps going on forever.

Im sorry you deal with both, i have BPD and this alone causes ppl to leave me. Who wants ti deal with an emotional mess?
Its damn near impossible bottling it up..and its like when i do- it feels so uneasy and no amount of self harm could fix it. I just gotta blurt it out.

this has been said of me as well & now that I have physical mobility issues, I've been abandoned & abused. I really don't know what I do. I suspect that any hint of desperation repels some
Others I know were just users. it all just hurts

That's fucked up ppl would esp use u cause of physical issues
Ppl make me fucking sick. I cant wait tk CTB.
Even when users abandon - it srill hurts. Its someone separating from you nontheless. Ppl are selfish as hell too. They dont get what they want ? Irs goodbye. And not a very nice good bye either.

 

[Marawa]

Im sorry you deal with both, i have BPD and this alone causes ppl to leave me. Who wants ti deal with an emotional mess?
Its damn near impossible bottling it up..and its like when i do- it feels so uneasy and no amount of self harm could fix it. I just gotta blurt it out.


That's fucked up ppl would esp use u cause of physical issues
Ppl make me fucking sick. I cant wait tk CTB.
Even when users abandon - it srill hurts. Its someone separating from you nontheless. Ppl are selfish as hell too. They dont get what they want ? Irs goodbye. And not a very nice good bye either.

You hit the nose in this post. I had a car accident 11 years ago. I was successfully running a small business raising my kid taking care of elder family members running this one & that one to the store. Was seeing a few guys.
it effected my knee & thyroid in a way I became disfigured. Only 1 of those guys stuck out the 1st year with me. Only 1 gf came around when I was flat on my back from surgery. Out of about a circle of 20 ppl. My own son then 18 but still in hs would come in the house & walk right past me like get Pam to do it. I thought it was a phase. 10yrs 2 grandkids later-Ive never met them not even video conference
sorry for the long rant. I dated a psych who said bpd isn't even a real diagnosis, just a catch all when you don't fit anything else.
maybe its bpd maybe were empaths preyed on by psycopaths