wastingpotential

wastingpotential

drowning, always.
Feb 8, 2023
166
this is gonna sound so fucking weird cause ctb attempts fail literally so often, i'm living proof of it lol

i don't mean methods like being hit by a train or anything of the sort, i need something like an exact amount of pills to take that would guarantee i black out or get sick but not die.

"doesn't it sound like you're trying to seek attention?" yes thats exactly what i want
i feel like i can't afford to die right now because there's things i still want to wait out on before i try taking my leave again, but i genuinely cannot live in the household i'm in currently and nobody takes me seriously when i say i need to move out and to go back to where i previously lived (it's not the best either, but it's my only option rn)

i can't stand to live here any longer because my sa'er is also here and acts perfectly fine everyday, while i'm constantly terrified of being alone with him even, and seeing how nicely he interacts with biological relatives of mine makes me feel so weak. i'm terrified of opening up and not being believed so if i did speak up on what he did to me it would only be after i've escaped this place

so yes, if anyone can help me answer this question it'd mean a lot, most i can think of currently is a faulty amount of pills or self harming in an extreme form but deliberately missing areas that would be lethal.

thanks
 
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needthebus

needthebus

Student
Apr 29, 2024
132
Are you in a group home or living with relatives? I don't entirely understand your living situation and why you can't just get a job, save up, and leave. I am not trying to be insulting and just don't understand the circumstances.

If you want to live, at least for now, attempting a psuedo-suicide-attempt is really risky and dangerous. Serious attempts can always go wrong or they don't seem serious. There is no way to attempt a realistic suicide without incurring huge risk. It seems like there is likely an easier way to deal with this.

If you are placed there for care as a dependent adult (hopefully you are not under 18 because you shouldn't be here if you are), why can't you just tell whoever is managing you that "someone" in the house did something that's inappropriate sexually and you don't feel safe there and don't wish to discuss it further because it's traumatic and if they push they aren't respecting your boundaries?

You could also say something like "someone grabbed my ass when I was looking in the linen closet for something to get out. I didn't turn around because I was terrified and then they walked away, I didn't turn around since I was terrified and didn't move for a minute or two after, then immediately left and went on a walk, i am terrified to keep staying here" if you absolutely don't want to report being victimized. But if you are a dependent adult and they are a mandatory reporter, even this could get reported to police. You could always say the same thing to the police to get out of there, but then if you ever want to report the actual incident to police any sort of half-truths or distortions that you report now could make that harder. The mental health industry doesn't really respect people's boundaries, they just follow rules as they are told regardless of the affects on others, so you may want to research what rules apply in your area to determine if anything you share with a manager or conservator must be reported because of mandatory reporting laws. The only problem with that is that it's a lie so if you do want to later report what happened, it makes things confusing and you would potentially not be believed. Also, if you're a bad liar, it may come across as a lie.

There are sexual assault hotlines to talk with someone, and they may or may not be mandatory reporters so just research it beforehand. If you can call a sexual assault hotline and can determine beforehand they aren't mandatory reporters, they are more experienced and will be able to discuss better options possibly.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,228
I'm sorry for your situation but I think it's massively risky to actually do anything. Especially involving drugs. I imagine sufficient quantity to look like a genuine attempt may well start to harm major organs.

The only thing I can think of is to linger about on a bridge or popular suicide spot and wait for people to notice.

I completely understand why you can't stand living with an abuser. Sorry- personal to ask but, is it your families financial support you require to live back in your old place? Trouble is- if it looks like you've attempted suicide, I'm not sure that would make them want to let you move away. Wouldn't they want to keep a closer eye on you following that?

Is there anyone in your family you could trust with the truth about this guy? It must be a huge trauma to carry alone. I'm sorry.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
7,260
Frankly, I think it's a really bad idea. Just like there is no 100% guarantee of death by any ctb method, there is no 100% guarantee you will survive an attempt orchestrated to do just that.
 
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Mebius

Mebius

Student
Jun 13, 2024
184
4g of SN outta do it
 
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R

randal_bond

Me encantaria practicar ES con Hispanohablantes.
Oct 23, 2018
287
this is gonna sound so fucking weird cause ctb attempts fail literally so often, i'm living proof of it lol

i don't mean methods like being hit by a train or anything of the sort, i need something like an exact amount of pills to take that would guarantee i black out or get sick but not die.

"doesn't it sound like you're trying to seek attention?" yes thats exactly what i want
i feel like i can't afford to die right now because there's things i still want to wait out on before i try taking my leave again, but i genuinely cannot live in the household i'm in currently and nobody takes me seriously when i say i need to move out and to go back to where i previously lived (it's not the best either, but it's my only option rn)

i can't stand to live here any longer because my sa'er is also here and acts perfectly fine everyday, while i'm constantly terrified of being alone with him even, and seeing how nicely he interacts with biological relatives of mine makes me feel so weak. i'm terrified of opening up and not being believed so if i did speak up on what he did to me it would only be after i've escaped this place

so yes, if anyone can help me answer this question it'd mean a lot, most i can think of currently is a faulty amount of pills or self harming in an extreme form but deliberately missing areas that would be lethal.

thanks
Just read a post where a guy consumed 7g of Sodium Nitrite and survived without any permanent damage.
Or you can take lots of diazepam and sleep it off. Yo wont' die from it unless you're very unlucky. (Remember, 100% certainty is never guaranteed in such situations).
Completely avoid hanging because it may go not the way you want. Or just make a knot and put a stool underneath and let somebody discover this.
There. A bit of brainstorming for you. )))
 
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wastingpotential

wastingpotential

drowning, always.
Feb 8, 2023
166
personal to ask but, is it your families financial support you require to live back in your old place?
yeah, i'm financially dependent on them currently as i'm trying to finish up high school (i failed a year awhile back and because of moving so often the system keeps trying to push me back aswell cause of different curriculums.)

why can't you just tell whoever is managing you that "someone" in the house did something that's inappropriate sexually and you don't feel safe there and don't wish to discuss it further because it's traumatic and if they push they aren't respecting your boundaries?
(i'm over eighteen just to clarify your other statement, i don't wanna say my specific age but the range is between 18-20)

i live with relatives yes, the place i want to go back to has another relative of mine i lived most my life with so i trust them much more than anybody here (only started living in my current home late last year) i can try say what you suggested but it feels like a really big risk, if i say even this i feel like they'll push for further answers and if they don't believe me, it's gonna feel much worse being here cause i literally have nowhere else to turn to, i don't go outside or know any places besides the general area and the relatives i live with are all i have in this country..
 
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needthebus

needthebus

Student
Apr 29, 2024
132
yeah, i'm financially dependent on them currently as i'm trying to finish up high school (i failed a year awhile back and because of moving so often the system keeps trying to push me back aswell cause of different curriculums.)


(i'm over eighteen just to clarify your other statement, i don't wanna say my specific age but the range is between 18-20)

i live with relatives yes, the place i want to go back to has another relative of mine i lived most my life with so i trust them much more than anybody here (only started living in my current home late last year) i can try say what you suggested but it feels like a really big risk, if i say even this i feel like they'll push for further answers and if they don't believe me, it's gonna feel much worse being here cause i literally have nowhere else to turn to, i don't go outside or know any places besides the general area and the relatives i live with are all i have in this country..
Oh my gosh! You're in high school!? Things get so different once you are done with 18-19, it's such a chaotic time for everyone

Do not try some attempt just because you're living situation is bad and you need people to notice you're in pain, you could botch it and end up gone. That's the wrong way to handle it.

You're way too young and in a bad situation. Give life a try when you're in a better situation.

I would find out if a sexual assault hotline requires mandatory reporting in your area. There is a hotline Rape Abuse and Incest Network, I don't know if they would be required to report. There are likely things in your country.

Your brain changes a lot as a teenager and for some, but not all, people, things get a lot better once you are on your own and over 20.

https://www.rainn.org › about-rainn

there's probably other stuff out there too. just think about this, don't do something impulsive because this sounds like a situation that can get taken care of.

I'm not against people choosing to die, but an attempt seems like the wrong option when you are in high school. There are other ways to deal with this.
 
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easypeasy

easypeasy

Member
Jul 1, 2024
43
That's a good idea until you consider all of the reasons it's a terrible idea: you could become handicapped or brain damaged as a result. Your abuser would then have access to you so easily and you'll be worse off. Also, you may lose credibility or the affect might not have the result you want in terms of getting their attention. For example, you could just be labelled as "crazy". My cousin tried to ctb once on Panadol, nIbuprofen and lots of alcohol. When he told me, I didn't have sympathy for him. I simply didn't understand what was so bad he reacted that way and I wasn't affected by it. Neither were his parents. I don't know how old you are…but there could be a better way to get out of there with proof, without putting yourself at risk to get a reaction that likely won't have the affect you're after.

If you are seen as doing it for attention (and it will be…..because you are) people will just judge you as having weak character. I'm sure you don't but in life, it's better to accept that people will judge so you have to be a warrior. You need to be calculated, patient and smart. Don't show your cards and be one step ahead of this m*th*r f*ck*r.

Consider setting up your voice recorder or video on your phone when it's the two of you. Don't go through anything to get proof unless you're mentally capable of it but it is a smart idea. They wont suspect it. Then go immediately to the police. Your family might let you down.

If you're already at the point you need to do this for attention, sounds like they will let you down. That's why you go to the police and they will get you in touch with an SA resource centre. You're going to have to be super strong. SUPER strong. And find people to restore your faith in humanity. It doesn't have to be your family. It can be a police officer. If the first one doesn't help you…go to another police station. This is your life. Take it back. It's going to mean being a warrior.
 
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Mebius

Mebius

Student
Jun 13, 2024
184
4g of SN outta do it
actually OP you can die with as low as 2g so maybe try only 1g while drinking lots of orange juice. throw away the juice after your done so people wont ask why you drank it. ideally youd want to vomit a lot so it looks genuine. then just sleep on the floor and wait to be found. tell them you ingested 15g of SN, they prob believe it.
 
KillingPain267

KillingPain267

Enlightened
Apr 15, 2024
1,200
Make a suicide note and plan for it to be discovered. Maybe go to a lake and plan drowning, but let yourself be discovered based on that note. Police might come and escort you to a psych ward. It would count as an attempt without actually harming yourself since you were "rescued". In the note, you could explain your reasons and maybe a good case worker will help you on a path to find a place to live.
 
B

b_adr

Member
Mar 29, 2024
38
this is gonna sound so fucking weird cause ctb attempts fail literally so often, i'm living proof of it lol

i don't mean methods like being hit by a train or anything of the sort, i need something like an exact amount of pills to take that would guarantee i black out or get sick but not die.

"doesn't it sound like you're trying to seek attention?" yes thats exactly what i want
i feel like i can't afford to die right now because there's things i still want to wait out on before i try taking my leave again, but i genuinely cannot live in the household i'm in currently and nobody takes me seriously when i say i need to move out and to go back to where i previously lived (it's not the best either, but it's my only option rn)

i can't stand to live here any longer because my sa'er is also here and acts perfectly fine everyday, while i'm constantly terrified of being alone with him even, and seeing how nicely he interacts with biological relatives of mine makes me feel so weak. i'm terrified of opening up and not being believed so if i did speak up on what he did to me it would only be after i've escaped this place

so yes, if anyone can help me answer this question it'd mean a lot, most i can think of currently is a faulty amount of pills or self harming in an extreme form but deliberately missing areas that would be lethal.

thanks
Is there no one to whom you could actually voice your struggles in an honest way? And admit that the current situation is leading you to suicidal thoughts? Be vulnerable, don't be ashamed to cry if you want to. I truly believe that a lot can be solved with honest and transparent conversations.
 

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