Venting Narcissistic friend makes my depression about him

[lost.ghost]

I had posted something on social media saying I felt like no one cares about me, and I felt like everyone would be happier without me. Well this seemed to offend a friends ego so much that he messaged me about it. He said "the fact that you would say no one cares about you is INSULTING to me and others when we obviously do and you know we do. You do everything for attention, and are two sided and fake with everyone. I try to reach out to you but you won't answer or hang out with me" like, just let me be sad for a minute. Just let me vent. Saying that it's insulting to you makes me feel guilty for feeling like this, and it makes me feel like a piece of shit for thinking this way. I can't just turn off these thoughts. I can't raise my self esteem. It hurt so much

 

[Jean4]

I am so very sorry. Nobody deserves to be treated that way.
You do not need a narcissistic friend. However, a narcissist can't be a true friend.
It is better to be alone than with someone who doesn't treat you with respect.
Come here and talk to us. :)

 

[Ark]

Have to agree with Jean4. You don't need a "friend" that can't be a true friend when you need them to be the most.

I am sorry for how you are feeling. And if you don't have anyone you can talk to about it like Jean4 said, you can always talk to us here.

 

[realjunes]

I agree with Jean4 and Ark. You don't need that kind of negativism when you are already in distress. Come here to "vent" and as you know, we have a whole category called "Vent" that you posted on, where else can you get that service?

 

[Jean4]

I agree with Jean4 and Ark. You don't need that kind of negativism when you are already in distress. Come here to "vent" and as you know, we have a whole category called "Vent" that you posted on, where else can you get that service?

@SinisterKid @SinisterKid. Lookie Lookie! People agree with me. May never happen again!

 

[realjunes]

I had posted something on social media saying I felt like no one cares about me, and I felt like everyone would be happier without me. Well this seemed to offend a friends ego so much that he messaged me about it. He said "the fact that you would say no one cares about you is INSULTING to me and others when we obviously do and you know we do. You do everything for attention, and are two sided and fake with everyone. I try to reach out to you but you won't answer or hang out with me" like, just let me be sad for a minute. Just let me vent. Saying that it's insulting to you makes me feel guilty for feeling like this, and it makes me feel like a piece of shit for thinking this way. I can't just turn off these thoughts. I can't raise my self esteem. It hurt so much

We are having a thread right now about narcisstic people in your life, lots of experience with that for
forum members. You can check it out if you wish.
[Discussion] Do you have a Sociopath or a Narcissist in your life?

 

[DiiDii]

I had posted something on social media saying I felt like no one cares about me, and I felt like everyone would be happier without me. Well this seemed to offend a friends ego so much that he messaged me about it. He said "the fact that you would say no one cares about you is INSULTING to me and others when we obviously do and you know we do. You do everything for attention, and are two sided and fake with everyone. I try to reach out to you but you won't answer or hang out with me" like, just let me be sad for a minute. Just let me vent. Saying that it's insulting to you makes me feel guilty for feeling like this, and it makes me feel like a piece of shit for thinking this way. I can't just turn off these thoughts. I can't raise my self esteem. It hurt so much

Honestly people like this suck. There's way too many of them out there. The especially bad ones are the ones that are suicidal too and try to block your issues out so they can just vent about themselves. There was this one 'friend' that used to cut me off every time I tried to talk about my mental health and claimed she had it worse because of her bipolar and that I could always 'get over it' whilst she would suffer her whole life. I still can't get over the fact people gatekeep depression and try to flex that their depressions are worse than yours.

 

[Grandexit]

I have a malignant narcissist in my step- family. They cannot be friends, true family, partners or any other role that requires a real interpersonal bond. The nature of their malformation is that they cannot care about anyone else. There are some really good psychiatrists on u tube (surprisingly) that break down narcissism really well. What most of them say about changing, fixing or curing a narcissist is "run away". By playing their games, you feed their narcissistic supply. That's what they are after. You're nothing but a battery to power up the spotlight that needs to shine on them 24/7. No fixing it. Just run away and save yourself the complete aggravation and mental depletion. Delete this person from your life, don't feed the spotlight. You won't win.

 

[oopswronglife]

I f'ing HATE narcissists. My family is full of them. Society is full of them. The internet has a higher than irl concentration of them because they can get away with it even more without consequences. One just got impeached. They are the worst kind of people, they cause so much pain and misery. They have no empathy. They don't spread love and kindness. They take, burn, harm, use. Ego and greed ruin the world and narcissists are pure ego and greed.

 

[realjunes]

I f'ing HATE narcissists. My family is full of them. Society is full of them. The internet has a higher than irl concentration of them because they can get away with it even more without consequences. One just got impeached. They are the worst kind of people, they cause so much pain and misery. They have no empathy. They don't spread love and kindness. They take, burn, harm, use. Ego and greed ruin the world and narcissists are pure ego and greed.

That is a very passionate and important rant. We have a thread today discussing narcissists and sociopaths, it would be great if you would cut and paste your post on that thread to add it to the posts on this subject on that thread.

Do you have a Sociopath or a Narcissist in your life

 

[Farmmaa]

I had that happen to me on social media as well. It was my very first Christmas without any of my kids, so I posted about how hard it was. A 'friend' sent me a PM and demanded that I delete my post because he found it much too depressing !!??!! He is no longer a friend.

Also booted from my life is the friend who said that if I stopped saying/thinking I was stressed and depressed, then I wouldn't be. ( cause we all know its just all in our heads and if we simply think positively, life will be sunshine and lollipops )

I worked for one of the worst narcissist/borderline sociopath for four years... the mind games, gas lighting and mental/emotional abuse was a huge stepping stone to my depression spiral.

 

[c824767]

I had posted something on social media saying I felt like no one cares about me, and I felt like everyone would be happier without me. Well this seemed to offend a friends ego so much that he messaged me about it. He said "the fact that you would say no one cares about you is INSULTING to me and others when we obviously do and you know we do. You do everything for attention, and are two sided and fake with everyone. I try to reach out to you but you won't answer or hang out with me" like, just let me be sad for a minute. Just let me vent. Saying that it's insulting to you makes me feel guilty for feeling like this, and it makes me feel like a piece of shit for thinking this way. I can't just turn off these thoughts. I can't raise my self esteem. It hurt so much

I totally hate the "you are selfish because you want to die" assault. So what if I am selfish. I need to look after me. No one else can really do it. If I cannot do this any more, I have to go. If I think I can still do it, but not for much longer, I go on, day by day. I hardly ever think about the future and if I do I am Sh*t scared...

 

[Pan]

Don't let this false friend effect your self esteem. Narcissists are largely inhuman and empty inside. Clearly, you are not. Be kinder to yourself and breathe a sigh of relief, knowing in turn that you have access to real feelings that are unavailable to the petulant, self absorbed cuckhold.you describe.

 

[Azizw126]

Majority of people do not understand how it looks like to be cursed with depression.
It's one of the most mysterious puzzle to solve.
I had a friend like the one you have, after getting an advice from social worker to cut any relationship with him since he was putting a tremendous pressure every day, accusing me of being attention whore and just making up being depressed and suicidal.
It's weird that we do need attention and care all the time but in the same time we want to reject this attention

 

[Pan]

You want to reject this attention because you are a good person who, in your sensitivity, you do not wish to burden others. Remember—+not only is this normal, it is the sign of a good person!

 

[notjustyetagain]

so you state that you feel unloved -- which is very different from stating that you are unloved -- and your friend: 1) ignores your feelings; 2) starts arguing with something you never even implied; 3) guilt-trips you; and 4) starts insulting you for good measure? it seems that they struggle with listening and offering emotional support at a minimum. none of that is your fault. i hope you don't take their deficiency too much to heart, and that you have other friends who are more interested in your feelings, why you have them, and what they can do to help. vent away! <3