narcissistic abuse

[okkkk]

still coming to grips with how I never had a chance to begin with and so much of my life has been painful due to the simple accident of birth. This sobering truth is unbearable to carry around. Very few people even comprehend what it is to have the people who brought you hear set you up for constant failure. If anyone here gets it and is also trying to become self actualized we should talk. Id hate to waste words on some university of Phoenix graduate who cant actually be bothered. Ive only found solace in communicating issues to people who can at least comprehend the situation. I cant regain what i was denied but I refuse to submit to the cruel fate i live in.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I hear u and get ur pain...Narcissistic abuse has got to be one of the most degrading, evil, and debilitating types of abuse there is..The narcissist is cold, evil, callous, and takes pleasure in hurting others ..I have dealt with a few in my life..

The best advice I can give to deal with a narcissist is, if at all possible, DON'T!

STAY FAR FROM THEM.

@GoodPersonEffed has some very informative info/threads on the narcissist and can possibly offer some insight..U should take a look..

P.s. Not that I am one, but what's wrong with a University of Phoenix graduate? The institution an individual attends or has attended doesn't mean s/he will or won't be able to grasp ur issues, empathize with u, and even offer great advice.. I know a few Ivy League graduates (Harvard) and 2 are very emotionally disengaged and very insensitive. I could be misinterpreting ur statement, but that sounds a bit shallow..

 

[Fedrea]

still coming to grips with how I never had a chance to begin with and so much of my life has been painful due to the simple accident of birth. This sobering truth is unbearable to carry around. Very few people even comprehend what it is to have the people who brought you hear set you up for constant failure. If anyone here gets it and is also trying to become self actualized we should talk. Id hate to waste words on some university of Phoenix graduate who cant actually be bothered. Ive only found solace in communicating issues to people who can at least comprehend the situation. I cant regain what i was denied but I refuse to submit to the cruel fate i live in.

I'm sorry to hear you've been a victim of these people. In your family or just folk you've come across in life? I wrote a thread on this lately https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/attracting-narcissists-sociopaths.43003/page-2#post-800576

 

[okkkk]

I hear u and get ur pain...Narcissistic abuse has got to be one of the most degrading, evil, and debilitating types of abuse there is..The narcissist is cold, evil, callous, and takes pleasure in hurting others ..I have dealt with a few in my life..

The best advice I can give to deal with a narcissist is, if at all possible, DON'T!

STAY FAR FROM THEM.

@GoodPersonEffed has some very informative info/threads on the narcissist and can possibly offer some insight..U should take a look..

P.s. Not that I am one, but what's wrong with a University of Phoenix graduate? The institution an individual attends or has attended doesn't mean s/he will or won't be able to grasp ur issues, empathize with u, and even offer great advice.. I know a few Ivy League graduates (Harvard) and 2 are very emotionally disengaged and very insensitive. I could be misinterpreting ur statement, but that sounds a bit shallow..

Thanks for replying & ill check out those threads. with The Phoenix thing was just trying to express how ive found the average therapist to be pretty dull when it comes to emotional insight. & I used to be the kind of person who thought a therapist could do no wrong. It took several visits to several therapists to make me realize that at my level of pay I wasnt going to get any real treatment. And that sad reality gives me angst for the whole concept. I was naive to think every person who decides to major in psychology is actually concerned with healing my specific pain. Theyre concerned with having food to eat and a place to live. Its just a job and a safe one. Im not condemning online college or all therapists, im just trying to express how im beyond the need for basic therapy and im frustrated with how much time ive wasted talking to a string people who literally dont care. Its a job.
I now know if i ever seeked it out again I would have to get specialized treatment for narc abuse and CPTSD. So maybe I would have a fighting chance at seeing someone who could actually comprehend it.

 

[Meditation guide]

if i ever seeked it out again I would have to get specialized treatment for narc abuse and CPTSD.

Most therapists in my experience are worse than useless if not downright harmful. There are a few really great ones who specialize in narcissists and their codependents on youtube so if you search there you are more likely to find one you resonate with. Generally, therapists either don't understand what it's like to be a narcissist's victim, or they are one themselves in my own personal experience.

 

[okkkk]

Most therapists in my experience are worse than useless if not downright harmful. There are a few really great ones who specialize in narcissists and their codependents on youtube so if you search there you are more likely to find one you resonate with. Generally, therapists either don't understand what it's like to be a narcissist's victim, or they are one themselves in my own personal experience.

Exactly thats all im trying to say. When I was younger I was more swayed by someones title and had yet to realize how little it actually means. Literally anyone can become a therapist. The concept of therapy is essential to any kind of emotional self awareness but rarely works out in practice in my experience. I find much more salient and well articulated ideas on youtube than I ever had in years of therapy and thats literally just because they can actually comprehend the abuse. Because we share a similar strain of it. You cant even pay people to care or understand if they truly do not.

 

[Lostandfound7]

Thanks for replying & ill check out those threads. with The Phoenix thing was just trying to express how ive found the average therapist to be pretty dull when it comes to emotional insight. & I used to be the kind of person who thought a therapist could do no wrong. It took several visits to several therapists to make me realize that at my level of pay I wasnt going to get any real treatment. And that sad reality gives me angst for the whole concept. I was naive to think every person who decides to major in psychology is actually concerned with healing my specific pain. Theyre concerned with having food to eat and a place to live. Its just a job and a safe one. Im not condemning online college or all therapists, im just trying to express how im beyond the need for basic therapy and im frustrated with how much time ive wasted talking to a string people who literally dont care. Its a job.
I now know if i ever seeked it out again I would have to get specialized treatment for narc abuse and CPTSD. So maybe I would have a fighting chance at seeing someone who could actually comprehend it.

Got it! Sorry, I interpreted wrong..

It's a shame that many, if not most, r pretty much useless for treatment. And u have to go thru 100 just to find one mediocre one..I have heard very few individuals say they have found a therapist they r totally happy with and find extremely helpful. And the really good ones prob charge a pound of flesh ..smdh..

R u still searching?

 

[Meditation guide]

You cant even pay people to care or understand if they truly do not.

You have to experience some things yourself to understand them and being a narcissist's victim is one of those things.
It's important not to overlook how you also accepted a relationship with one too and didn't have the natural defenses to reject them. This goes back to childhood programming.
There was a theory that some people are born and bred to be the "supply" targets for narcissists the way chickens are born and bred for food. Interesting.

 

[Fedrea]

You have to experience some things yourself to understand them and being a narcissist's victim is one of those things.
It's important not to overlook how you also accepted a relationship with one too and didn't have the natural defenses to reject them. This goes back to childhood programming.
There was a theory that some people are born and bred to be the "supply" targets for narcissists the way chickens are born and bred for food. Interesting.

I maintain you just need low self-esteem and probably emotional sensitivity to act as "supply". That's because when I had good self-esteem I went through years of adult life without encountering any of these people and as soon as I became depressed with low self-esteem I got targeted by them

So sometimes that low self worth will come from childhood. But sometimes you develop it. And just because you have low self-esteem from a bad childhood doesn't mean it always has to be like that. Like I think a lot of people, when their self-esteem improves, these people stop targeting us

 

[Meditation guide]

And just because you have low self-esteem from a bad childhood doesn't mean it always has to be like that.

It's not from low self esteem. It's from being so used to being in a house for the first 18 years of your life where there was always narcissistic abuse and chaos that you don't know anything different.

It just never occurred to put up any boundaries. Take it from me you can have good healthy self esteem and still become a target of narcissists due to not knowing that someone should be rejected. And you are drawn to these narcissists because you spent your childhood trying to help and fix the ones in your family.

 

[Fedrea]

It's not from low self esteem. It's from being so used to being in a house for the first 18 years of your life where there was always narcissistic abuse and chaos that you don't know anything different.

It just never occurred to put up any boundaries. Take it from me you can have good healthy self esteem and still become a target of narcissists due to not knowing that someone should be rejected. And you are drawn to these narcissists because you spent your childhood trying to help and fix the ones in your family.

Ok that's interesting, thanks

 

[okkkk]

Got it! Sorry, I interpreted wrong..

It's a shame that many, if not most, r pretty much useless for treatment. And u have to go thru 100 just to find one mediocre one..I have heard very few individuals say they have found a therapist they r totally happy with and find extremely helpful. And the really good ones prob charge a pound of flesh ..smdh..

R u still searching?

For a therapist? no. But for like minded people who wish to become self actualized and swim against the current yes. Now with hindsight i realize I was doing most of the heavy lifting when it came to vocalizing my trauma. Which isnt worthless, it would be pointless to dwell on the uselessness of all the time i spent spilling my guts to someone who gets paid hourly. But now armed with that knowledge its extremely unlikely you will ever find me on a therapists couch.

You have to experience some things yourself to understand them and being a narcissist's victim is one of those things.
It's important not to overlook how you also accepted a relationship with one too and didn't have the natural defenses to reject them. This goes back to childhood programming.
There was a theory that some people are born and bred to be the "supply" targets for narcissists the way chickens are born and bred for food. Interesting.

This was definitely the case for me and it causes me mental anguish. I would like to know the yt channels you find helpful if youre willing to share.

 

[Meditation guide]

For a therapist? no. But for like minded people who wish to become self actualized and swim against the current yes. Now with hindsight i realize I was doing most of the heavy lifting when it came to vocalizing my trauma. Which isnt worthless, it would be pointless to dwell on the uselessness of all the time i spent spilling my guts to someone who gets paid hourly. But now armed with that knowledge its extremely unlikely you will ever find me on a therapists couch.


This was definitely the case for me and it causes me mental anguish. I would like to know the yt channels you find helpful if youre willing to share.

The best, skip the rest:
Dr Ramani
Dr Daniel Fox
Derrick Jaxn >>> entertaining yet really tells it like it is-- slanted toward women's issues with men.
Assc Direct Channel >>> brief and easy to listen to and understand, down to earth
Lisa A. Romano
Peace and Harmony >>> takes some getting used to but goes into much more depth than usual. She really digs down deep into what they do and how it affects you.