My Therapist is a little Strange…

[Draconian Alone]

I was talking to my therapist about the nightmares I've been having. They're usually pretty violent and have elaborate plots. She said that if you have violent thoughts it'll affect your dreams. She finally pressured me into telling the truth about how I have violent thoughts. I just have them to cope with the loneliness. And I like the anger, it keeps me sharp. But after I admitted I have violent fantasies, I had to practical grovel and downplay them, saying bullshit like, "but I know I'll never act on them!" And, "If it becomes more intense, I'll get actual help!"

Then, she said the thoughts were okay because they were a coping mechanism for my isolation. She promised not to tell anyone. She also said I'm really creative and I can use this stuff in my stories.

Fuck! Is she trying to trap me into a situation I can't escape? How do I gaslight her into not thinking I have these thought?! At the end of the session, I thought she was gonna write this stuff down in a file or database or something, but when I asked, she joked, "oh I'm gonna call the police and they're gonna arrest you" I scowled and walked out of the office.

 

[3/4Dead]

I think you're overthinking her response.
She's a therpist, it's her job to listen to things like this and not tell anyone unless you are in imminent danger, or state that you are about to actually harm someone. She is offering you a positive outlet for these emotions by suggesting to use this as fuel for your stories.

It's important you continue to tell her the truth, otherwise you are wasting both of your time. At most, if she takes any notes they will be for herself, to remember the conversation and refer to what you spoke about (thats why therapists take notes after all). I'm sure she was only joking to lighten the mood, as you seem very intense, and she wants to reassure you that she has no intention of escelating this, that it is safe to talk to her about these thoughts.

I would like to say, if the joke about calling the police upset you, you should tell her, as theraputic relationships are just that, relationships, she will not know where the line is which not to cross if you do not express that to her. She seems like a decent therapist, and I'd suggest you stick with it, and be sure you're communicating when she does things that are upsetting to you.

 

[ropearoundatree]

Basically, the laws & regulations may vary, depending on country -- but I believe they are bound & obligated by law; that if you make a substantial & credible "threat," to harming yourself (or others): e. g., "suicide," or 'homicide.' Then they are mandated to report it to the authorities. But perhaps as long as you keep it in, DREAM_LAND. As in more pure, Fantasy~!* / then you may be alright (all right?). If she doesn't take you seriously, as to actually going out & committing one of these crimes. So that is where the difference & the distinction, lies then. And it will be up to you to decide, on how to actually play it. She's paid to read you. How accurate is her assessment, thus far? Did you say she was new? Personally, if forced to choose--I'd error on the side of caution. But that is just me! Can always crank it back up ,If- & when: "trust," is established. Right now she may be trying to determine your baseline. As she's just getting to know you. Or not? It's really hard to say; when I'm not right there in the room w/U~ *so many non-verbal (cues). Body language/facial expressions. Tones & inflections. Etc., etc~>* Good luck!! :)