Story My Suicide Countdown Journal

[EmptyBlackSoul]

Goal: Find Peace Before My 30th Birthday

Why:

• Aging out of youth resources
• Ex (my rapist) stole years of my life I will never get back
• I'm alone and have lost hope in being loved intimately again
• No money. Barely living on disability.
• Life feels like it's falling apart every month

Reasons to live:

• My family, cat and friends
• My fans (I'm a writer)
• I'm apparently "gifted"
• Supposed chance of happiness within the time I have left.

[ENTRY: 222 Days Remaining]​

So adding onto the fact that I've been stressed and miserable, it would seem I've also gotten a little sick as well (most likely COVID). Now I can't go anywhere to ease my loneliness for a while. Yah, more insolation (sarcasm). I guess the best thing I can do is occupy myself with my writing for now. Maybe I can do that Novel November thing. I wanted to try some voice narration, but forgot my throat is sore.
I also recently suffered having my heart stepped on, but hopefully that just helps me become more numb to life's torment.

 

[WornOutLife]

Gratz on writing down this journal even though it might've not been easy.
Sorry about the bad things have happened to you but I really admire your guts and organization to go for it.

I'll probably do something similar. Ty 4 the inspiration <3.