JustSomeoneOnline
Barely floating along
- Mar 9, 2023
- 65
i might ctb soon so i atleast want someone to know my story even if its just stangers online.
This is probably going to be really long so... idk decide if you want to read it or not ig
my mother's father cheated and divorced his wife to marry a woman who was a lot prettier, i dont know most of the details but my moms life was somewhat rough. my dad had abusive parents who beat him and he dropped out of high school. my mom who got into one of the top unis in her country gave up on her education when she met my father. both of their parents hated that they were together so my father got my mom pregnant so they would be forced to marry each other. the child my mom gave birth to was me. after giving birth to me she moved in with my dads family who treated her like shit since they were rich. my dad stood up for her in the beginning but after marriage he changed and he started abusing my mom with them. eventually my mom had my younger brother and when i was 4 she took us and fled to the US. my moms dad (the cheater) encouraged her to go to america so thats why we went. She had my rich father buy her a house there and had my younger sister there. After that until i was 5 she was a semi normal mom and she had a lot of nannies to help with the younger siblings but once i turned 6 everything changed. my mom fell into a deep depression and was being finically and verbally abused by my fathers family all the time. the nannies were all fired and she locked herself in her room 24/7 leaving the kids with me. but i was just a kid, i didnt know how to do anything. "im hungry," my siblings cried to me, "please i want to eat," they said. the first year we lived off the take out leftovers my mom ordered all the time. when i turned 7 my mom's real mom (the woman her dad cheated on) came to help us. she couldnt get my mom out of her room but she cleaned up the house taught me how to cook and clean and look after everyone and taught me the route to my school so i could walk there myself instead of seeing if my mom was in the mood to send me to school that day. the only problem was that my moms mother had cancer and she was old and weak and eventually she had to leave. but that was ok since i learned how to cook and clean from her so i could take care of my mom and siblings. i was the main caretaker in the house from ages 7-9. oh i forgot to mention while all this was going on my mom was extremely mentally unstable and would shout, beat me up, and lock me in rooms all the time. but only me, she treated my siblings like they were glass. one moment i remember quite clearly is her trying to lock me (7 at the time) in a small dark room and i was on all fours trying to crawl out but she got fed up and kicked me on the face. i had a huge foot shaped bruise on my face for the next couple of days, lol. this went on until i was 10 and my fathers family got fed up and forced my mom to bring us back to china. there i had a semi normal life for the first time, except my mom, my siblings and i got verbally, finically and physically abused a lot. my siblings had never experienced something like that before since they were always protected so i tried to shield them to the best of my ability. but at least i got to go to school regularly and i didnt have to cook every single meal and clean up after other all the time anymore. my school life had never been good anyways, i got good grades but no one cared enough and i was bullied a lot too and my teachers essentially ignored all my cries for help. when covid hit my mom saw that as a chance to escape so she brought me and my siblings to canada. there things essentially went back to the way they were when we were in the US. until my mom had a change of heart and decided to be a semi decent parent???? i was a teenager at the time and i didnt understand her sudden change of heart but it made life a lot easier. she cooked, cleaned and was only verbally and physically abusive to me like 5 out of 7 days a week. she suddenly decided that mental health was now more important than anything and kept talking about how my siblings (not me) had rough lives and were struggling mentally. lol. i should mention my sister stopped school at grade 1 and my brother at grade 3 due to my mom not forcing them to go. i remember one time she was telling me how i should validate my brothers mental struggles while throwing glass cups at me. this happened cause i told her he needed to go to school and that if he didnt it was going to ruin his life. anyways i started sh around grade 5 before i even knew what i was doing, lol and ive had a bad habit of binge eating since age 6 cause little me liked the feeling of pain when my stomach was full, so i never knew eating wasn't supposed to hurt untill last year. this binge eating later turned into bulimia around grade 5 too. i attempted suicide for the first time in grade 8 by overdosing which got me into the hospital and while they were stripping me to do tests they found all my sh scars i had been hiding. when my mom saw them she just looked disgusted, and that was the last thing i remember before passing out for 2 days. i woke up 2 days later to be immediately thrown into the psych ward. for the next couple of years there were multiple visits to the psych ward for my suicide attempts and now my mom still hasnt changed, i cant ever leave her cause i love her and my dad a a jackass lmfao. thats all the energy i have to write right now so i might update this sometime later. sorry for the literal wall of text. so essentially im just a loser waiting to die. my counselling hasnt really helped, neither have the meds so im really just stuck in this shitty place until i decide to kick the bucket. thank you to anyone who read the entire thing it means a lot to me. it really does. the more i read this the more i start to think my life wasnt really that bad lmfao
This is probably going to be really long so... idk decide if you want to read it or not ig
my mother's father cheated and divorced his wife to marry a woman who was a lot prettier, i dont know most of the details but my moms life was somewhat rough. my dad had abusive parents who beat him and he dropped out of high school. my mom who got into one of the top unis in her country gave up on her education when she met my father. both of their parents hated that they were together so my father got my mom pregnant so they would be forced to marry each other. the child my mom gave birth to was me. after giving birth to me she moved in with my dads family who treated her like shit since they were rich. my dad stood up for her in the beginning but after marriage he changed and he started abusing my mom with them. eventually my mom had my younger brother and when i was 4 she took us and fled to the US. my moms dad (the cheater) encouraged her to go to america so thats why we went. She had my rich father buy her a house there and had my younger sister there. After that until i was 5 she was a semi normal mom and she had a lot of nannies to help with the younger siblings but once i turned 6 everything changed. my mom fell into a deep depression and was being finically and verbally abused by my fathers family all the time. the nannies were all fired and she locked herself in her room 24/7 leaving the kids with me. but i was just a kid, i didnt know how to do anything. "im hungry," my siblings cried to me, "please i want to eat," they said. the first year we lived off the take out leftovers my mom ordered all the time. when i turned 7 my mom's real mom (the woman her dad cheated on) came to help us. she couldnt get my mom out of her room but she cleaned up the house taught me how to cook and clean and look after everyone and taught me the route to my school so i could walk there myself instead of seeing if my mom was in the mood to send me to school that day. the only problem was that my moms mother had cancer and she was old and weak and eventually she had to leave. but that was ok since i learned how to cook and clean from her so i could take care of my mom and siblings. i was the main caretaker in the house from ages 7-9. oh i forgot to mention while all this was going on my mom was extremely mentally unstable and would shout, beat me up, and lock me in rooms all the time. but only me, she treated my siblings like they were glass. one moment i remember quite clearly is her trying to lock me (7 at the time) in a small dark room and i was on all fours trying to crawl out but she got fed up and kicked me on the face. i had a huge foot shaped bruise on my face for the next couple of days, lol. this went on until i was 10 and my fathers family got fed up and forced my mom to bring us back to china. there i had a semi normal life for the first time, except my mom, my siblings and i got verbally, finically and physically abused a lot. my siblings had never experienced something like that before since they were always protected so i tried to shield them to the best of my ability. but at least i got to go to school regularly and i didnt have to cook every single meal and clean up after other all the time anymore. my school life had never been good anyways, i got good grades but no one cared enough and i was bullied a lot too and my teachers essentially ignored all my cries for help. when covid hit my mom saw that as a chance to escape so she brought me and my siblings to canada. there things essentially went back to the way they were when we were in the US. until my mom had a change of heart and decided to be a semi decent parent???? i was a teenager at the time and i didnt understand her sudden change of heart but it made life a lot easier. she cooked, cleaned and was only verbally and physically abusive to me like 5 out of 7 days a week. she suddenly decided that mental health was now more important than anything and kept talking about how my siblings (not me) had rough lives and were struggling mentally. lol. i should mention my sister stopped school at grade 1 and my brother at grade 3 due to my mom not forcing them to go. i remember one time she was telling me how i should validate my brothers mental struggles while throwing glass cups at me. this happened cause i told her he needed to go to school and that if he didnt it was going to ruin his life. anyways i started sh around grade 5 before i even knew what i was doing, lol and ive had a bad habit of binge eating since age 6 cause little me liked the feeling of pain when my stomach was full, so i never knew eating wasn't supposed to hurt untill last year. this binge eating later turned into bulimia around grade 5 too. i attempted suicide for the first time in grade 8 by overdosing which got me into the hospital and while they were stripping me to do tests they found all my sh scars i had been hiding. when my mom saw them she just looked disgusted, and that was the last thing i remember before passing out for 2 days. i woke up 2 days later to be immediately thrown into the psych ward. for the next couple of years there were multiple visits to the psych ward for my suicide attempts and now my mom still hasnt changed, i cant ever leave her cause i love her and my dad a a jackass lmfao. thats all the energy i have to write right now so i might update this sometime later. sorry for the literal wall of text. so essentially im just a loser waiting to die. my counselling hasnt really helped, neither have the meds so im really just stuck in this shitty place until i decide to kick the bucket. thank you to anyone who read the entire thing it means a lot to me. it really does. the more i read this the more i start to think my life wasnt really that bad lmfao
