My SN is coming monday!

[Sinkinshyp]

I just checked tracking my SN will be here monday. I'm excited. Trying to work on a phone call with doc to get an antiemetic. I see my pain doc monday so I will have my oxy and xanax that day to. I know it's going to be very hard to wait out until Oct 13. My mind is going you can go do it next week! My son died in an accident oct 13 so rather than make my family suffer 2 different dates I will go on the same day my son went. I think I'll use my oxy sparingly this month. I looked at calendar my next pain mgmt appt will be Oct 12th! perfect. If I can save enough back this month I can combine next month and od on my oxy, xanax and sn.

 

[Ready2GoNow]

I'm so sorry to hear about your son, and that you're leaving us. You sound like such a thoughtful person, even planning the date so your family doesn't have to mourn on two separate dates. I think those of us on here are too selfless, kind and sensitive for this brutal world. Whatever happens I hope you find exactly what you seek, and I hope it's peaceful and pain free. Sending you lots of love

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I'm so sorry to hear about your son, and that you're leaving us. You sound like such a thoughtful person, even planning the date so your family doesn't have to mourn on two separate dates. I think those of us on here are too selfless, kind and sensitive for this brutal world. Whatever happens I hope you find exactly what you seek, and I hope it's peaceful and pain free. Sending you lots of love

thank you for all your kind words. I wish there could be a place a town.. where all the people who are suffering could meet up. Not to CTB but to show eachother- we are loved. Rebuild and somehow make the best place to live. I bet very few would CTB- because our hearts are so broken we want to heal others. I believe I am going to be reunited with my son, I cant wait. 3 years I haven't hugged him. I don't know if I can hug as a spirit I hope so!

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm sorry that you had to experience the loss of your son like that. I like the idea you have of planning to CTB on the same date as his death though. It's got me wondering if I shouldn't do the same thing on the exact day that I lost my mom from cancer. I think that it would not only prevent my family from having two separate days to have bad memories of, but it might also help the rest of them to understand why I have been wanting to do this since then.

If you stick with your plan, I hope it brings you the peace that you need.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I'm sorry that you had to experience the loss of your son like that. I like the idea you have of planning to CTB on the same date as his death though. It's got me wondering if I shouldn't do the same thing on the exact day that I lost my mom from cancer. I think that it would not only prevent my family from having two separate days to have bad memories of, but it might also help the rest of them to understand why I have been wanting to do this since then.

If you stick with your plan, I hope it brings you the peace that you need.

Thank you hun. Can I ask how old are you? how long ago did your mom pass? I can't imagine loosing my mom and I'm 48. If your grief and depression stem from your moms death have you tried grief counseling? or a grief group?

 

[Deathbydemo]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. That's devastating. I think it's really nice you are choosing to go on the same date as your son, that's another special way to be bonded forever with him. Hope you're successful with getting AE. Let us know how it goes! I am trying with my doctor on Monday (saying all the things you're supposed to say) so fingers crossed.

I wish you peace.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Thank you hun. Can I ask how old are you? how long ago did your mom pass? I can't imagine loosing my mom and I'm 48. If your grief and depression stem from your moms death have you tried grief counseling? or a grief group?

I'm 27 and it's been 3 years since then. I did have some grief counseling after that and I did start to feel better for a little while, but then some other bad things happened and I ended up being depressed again. It caused me to realize that this horrible world of ours isn't the place for me.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I'm 27 and it's been 3 years since then. I did have some grief counseling after that and I did start to feel better for a little while, but then some other bad things happened and I ended up being depressed again. It caused me to realize that this horrible world of ours isn't the place for me.

you are so young hun. I'm so sorry you lost your mom and have been through bad things. They say the first 2 years of grief are the hardest. I will be just like you- 3 years in october. I'm not trying to talk you out of anything just offering advice from a mom and a 48 yr old woman. Only you know what will give you peace. Would you consider grief counseling again? or a grief group? I know groups are scary to most of us. not sure how you feel about one. If you do facebook I might be able to find a group specific to people who've lost their parents.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. That's devastating. I think it's really nice you are choosing to go on the same date as your son, that's another special way to be bonded forever with him. Hope you're successful with getting AE. Let us know how it goes! I am trying with my doctor on Monday (saying all the things you're supposed to say) so fingers crossed.

I wish you peace.

thank you. It's beyond devastating. I died when that officer said He died. I've just been forced to exist the last 3 years. I'm trying to figure out what to say hence I haven't called for an appt yet... good luck with your ae. I'm going to keep updated here. I also hope I can help someone here because I have been through alot. Maybe I can give someone some advice and they will see things differently. I am a mom, I have a big heart and it hurts so many younger folks are in so much pain. I wish I could just give you all a hug and let you know it will be alright, you are loved and you aren't alone

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Only you know what will give you peace. Would you consider grief counseling again? or a grief group? I know groups are scary to most of us. not sure how you feel about one. If you do facebook I might be able to find a group specific to people who've lost their parents.

I appreciate the thought, but I don't think it will actually help at this point. Thanks for the suggestion anyway.

 

[Drowning fish]

I am so sorry for the death of your son and the suffering that makes you want to die.

Reading this makes me want to reconsider... I don't want my mum to suffer my loss... maybe I'll hang in there longer for her.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I am so sorry for the death of your son and the suffering that makes you want to die.

Reading this makes me want to reconsider... I don't want my mum to suffer my loss... maybe I'll hang in there longer for her.

I don't know how old you are. I don't know what has brought you to want to CTB. It might be something you can change, fix, grow from and live. You can live for her right now- but figure out what has brought you to want to CTB and see if there is a way to make you happy. As a mom without her son - I can tell you she is going to suffer. Other moms 20 years in this have told me it never goes away, you ALWAYS yearn for your child. You eventually learn how to walk but it's always a pain and emptiness. I cannot live without my son. I have existed for the last 3 years without him. I just want a hug and I love you buddy I love you to Ma...

I don't know how old you are. I don't know what has brought you to want to CTB. It might be something you can change, fix, grow from and live. You can live for her right now- but figure out what has brought you to want to CTB and see if there is a way to make you happy. As a mom without her son - I can tell you she is going to suffer. Other moms 20 years in this have told me it never goes away, you ALWAYS yearn for your child. You eventually learn how to walk but it's always a pain and emptiness. I cannot live without my son. I have existed for the last 3 years without him. I just want a hug and I love you buddy I love you to Ma...

you grew in your moms body. It's been proven that women who have had sons- have their sons dna in their brain. You become bonded as 1.. life without that part of yourself is just very unbearable.