v0id
my brain has claimed its glory over me
- Jul 12, 2023
- 31
i met a friend here at SaSu months ago. we're living in the same country and we hit it off. i met him when i needed him the most, and he met me when he needed me too. hours before he ctb, he said he wished we'd met earlier so our friendship could've been longer.
we were in the same boat. we understood our suicidality best, and we talked without pretense. we accepted we'd die early and that it's the only way we'll have peace. but it hurts so damn much.
we were talking before he ctb. i knew i couldn't save him, nor he'd want to, just like how i would be. he was so fucking desperate to get out of here. when i realized what he was doing, all i wanted to do was beg him to stop.
to people like us, i know that dying is the only way out. i want to say that i'm relieved that he finally got the peace he had always wanted, but it hurts too much. meeting him was like a light to me this year. i wanted someone to understand, and there he was.
i was in denial when i woke up and when i went through my day, until i found the account of his family. he's gone now. i don't what i should do, or how i could carry on.
last time he replied to me, he asked me if we could jam in spotify together, and we did. he last listened to by What Once Was by her's.
i miss him so much already. i think i always will. wait for me there, will you, j?
we were in the same boat. we understood our suicidality best, and we talked without pretense. we accepted we'd die early and that it's the only way we'll have peace. but it hurts so damn much.
we were talking before he ctb. i knew i couldn't save him, nor he'd want to, just like how i would be. he was so fucking desperate to get out of here. when i realized what he was doing, all i wanted to do was beg him to stop.
to people like us, i know that dying is the only way out. i want to say that i'm relieved that he finally got the peace he had always wanted, but it hurts too much. meeting him was like a light to me this year. i wanted someone to understand, and there he was.
i was in denial when i woke up and when i went through my day, until i found the account of his family. he's gone now. i don't what i should do, or how i could carry on.
last time he replied to me, he asked me if we could jam in spotify together, and we did. he last listened to by What Once Was by her's.
i miss him so much already. i think i always will. wait for me there, will you, j?
i'm sure that my sweet boy is watching my back, waiting patiently until we meet there. i'll be listening to our favorite songs together for now 
