so, i just wanted to vent. I am going to end myself soon so why not?
I have always been a very emotional person. I have had dark thoughts but they were never that bad to drive myself to suicide but here i am.
I was a good student, my family isn't really very ideal or something but we make it work. I had a very simple life and that's all i wanted. Never asked for much.
we were financially well off but i never really cared about the luxuries, emotional well being was always my top priority naturally.
let's just say it got triggered when i got involved with a person and things didn't go so well.
I cared and loved them way too much. And even after all this time it gives me way too much pain.
i started failing in every aspect of life, my mental health being in shards. I thought i could get back up on my feet but it's clearly i am unable to.
i hate having bad blood with people and with a person so close, it kills me.
i know i will never recover from this and the emotional pain and burden from this is way too much to take. Literally way too much.
the things i go through on a daily basis are not pretty.
my appetite has been gone since months now. My physical health deteriorating.
I don't see hope. And people always say oh it'll get better but deep in my heart i know it will always hurt and i just can't deal with that.
Some people here are homeless and going through extreme financial and other distress and may think i'm full
Of shit but they way it hurts, It wants me to kill myself every second of every day.
i have ordered sn, i also do have access to some meto.
i'm going to end it. I wish things wouldn't have been the way they are but this burden is just too much. I don't want to be someone who just is dependent on other people and is always in low spirits.
my brain is fucked.
my heart is fucked.
it's just time.
please don't ask if i'm sure, because i am.
i am failing at everything and i don't have the energy to get back up.
for someone as low maintenance as me, who has never asked for anything, this is too much to take.
I have always been a very emotional person. I have had dark thoughts but they were never that bad to drive myself to suicide but here i am.
I was a good student, my family isn't really very ideal or something but we make it work. I had a very simple life and that's all i wanted. Never asked for much.
we were financially well off but i never really cared about the luxuries, emotional well being was always my top priority naturally.
let's just say it got triggered when i got involved with a person and things didn't go so well.
I cared and loved them way too much. And even after all this time it gives me way too much pain.
i started failing in every aspect of life, my mental health being in shards. I thought i could get back up on my feet but it's clearly i am unable to.
i hate having bad blood with people and with a person so close, it kills me.
i know i will never recover from this and the emotional pain and burden from this is way too much to take. Literally way too much.
the things i go through on a daily basis are not pretty.
my appetite has been gone since months now. My physical health deteriorating.
I don't see hope. And people always say oh it'll get better but deep in my heart i know it will always hurt and i just can't deal with that.
Some people here are homeless and going through extreme financial and other distress and may think i'm full
Of shit but they way it hurts, It wants me to kill myself every second of every day.
i have ordered sn, i also do have access to some meto.
i'm going to end it. I wish things wouldn't have been the way they are but this burden is just too much. I don't want to be someone who just is dependent on other people and is always in low spirits.
my brain is fucked.
my heart is fucked.
it's just time.
please don't ask if i'm sure, because i am.
i am failing at everything and i don't have the energy to get back up.
for someone as low maintenance as me, who has never asked for anything, this is too much to take.
