Venting My psychiatrist told me to kill myself...

[ItsMe-Hecked]

This was back in late middle school. I first attempted via caffeine and over-hydration, and later by sodium-fluoride poisoning by eating two tubes of Crest toothpaste. This was over the span of two days. Terrible methods, I'm aware. I was a desperate 13 year old. My parents didn't care at the time, but they reluctantly took me to my psychiatrist after my school forced them to.

I liked my psychiatrist at the time. I was very naive and friendly back then, although obviously I had some glaring issues. I got there, we sat down, and he asked to talk to me without my dad in the room. He said to me "Hecked, you aren't suicidal. If you were suicidal, you would just do it. You're doing this to get out of school. You know how absurd "over-hydration" is? You weren't likely to die. You were likely to just vomit a lot. So, yeah. Keep trying. You don't want to kill yourself. You want attention. You'll never kill yourself because you don't want to die. Go ahead. Keep trying. Kill yourself. At least you won't be wasting my time. I still get the money every time you do this, but it's getting tiring. So do it."

Wasn't the same since.

 

[Judah]

I'm sorry to hear that, I know of cases where a psychologist made fun of a patient for having suicidal tendencies, it is difficult to find someone who really feels empathy for oneself

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

That is the worst fucking application of reverse psychology I've ever heard.

 

[1001YellowDaffodils]

I am so sorry that happened to you. That is a horrible thing to tell someone let alone a child who needs help. I hope you've found better more tactful professional help since then.

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

I am so sorry that happened to you. That is a horrible thing to tell someone let alone a child who needs help. I hope you've found better more tactful professional help since then.

I've found some passable mental health treatment, but most of it has been sub-par.

 

[1001YellowDaffodils]

I've found some passable mental health treatment, but most of it has been sub-par.

That seems to be the run around for most of us. I hope you can find what will help you soon and better treatments can be created for everyone.

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

That seems to be the run around for most of us. I hope you can find what will help you soon and better treatments can be created for everyone.

I'm CTBing very soon, actually. Mid-February.

 

[Samsal112]

I am sorry to hear this. I have had some crappy experiences with psychiatrists...makes you wonder where someone with mental health problems is supposed to get help. On another note, you were 13; how were you to know that those methods weren't lethal?

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

I am sorry to hear this. I have had some crappy experiences with psychiatrists...makes you wonder where someone with mental health problems is supposed to get help. On another note, you were 13; how were you to know that those methods weren't lethal?

That's a good point.

 

[1001YellowDaffodils]

I'm CTBing very soon, actually. Mid-February.

Me too, at the end of this month. I'm sure you've thought about it a lot to come to this option. <3

 

[SadJessu]

Bless you. No one should have to hear another person say things like that to them.

 

[Simba]

This was back in late middle school. I first attempted via caffeine and over-hydration, and later by sodium-fluoride poisoning by eating two tubes of Crest toothpaste. This was over the span of two days. Terrible methods, I'm aware. I was a desperate 13 year old. My parents didn't care at the time, but they reluctantly took me to my psychiatrist after my school forced them to.

I liked my psychiatrist at the time. I was very naive and friendly back then, although obviously I had some glaring issues. I got there, we sat down, and he asked to talk to me without my dad in the room. He said to me "Hecked, you aren't suicidal. If you were suicidal, you would just do it. You're doing this to get out of school. You know how absurd "over-hydration" is? You weren't likely to die. You were likely to just vomit a lot. So, yeah. Keep trying. You don't want to kill yourself. You want attention. You'll never kill yourself because you don't want to die. Go ahead. Keep trying. Kill yourself. At least you won't be wasting my time. I still get the money every time you do this, but it's getting tiring. So do it."

Wasn't the same since.

Wtf ? Oo Also - i can relate to the first part about the school. Apparently my school was pretty much "do something or we'll take action". That was in 12th grade.. the psychiatrist i saw at that time just once , she's like is probably just a phase.. what was that ,2014 - 15 - 16 ? Lol is 2022 and im still like this so not a phase ! Some professionals are just assholes.. i also had a russian psychiatrist - he told me that maybe is part of my personality that im depressed.. like ,even said once like he was bit annoyed that he didnt get his money or whatever from the health care that im with.. and when i ODd he was surprised that i had no damage to my liver etc.. and then he put me on Venlafaxine AKA Effexor or Viepax.. i kept telling him is not helpin so he put up to 300mg once a day.. then id get twitches in my sleep or whatever i know cause mammy videod it.. told me to show him so i did n he's like what you want me to do ? I mean common isnt it obvious ? But we in new city now so hopefully im finished with him n on 75mg instead ,is hard to find professionals that'll get you..

 

[meetapple]

You should have reported his ass.

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

You should have reported his ass.

He had and still has overwhelmingly positive reviews, so I didn't.

 

[Superdeterminist]

This was back in late middle school. I first attempted via caffeine and over-hydration, and later by sodium-fluoride poisoning by eating two tubes of Crest toothpaste. This was over the span of two days. Terrible methods, I'm aware. I was a desperate 13 year old. My parents didn't care at the time, but they reluctantly took me to my psychiatrist after my school forced them to.

I liked my psychiatrist at the time. I was very naive and friendly back then, although obviously I had some glaring issues. I got there, we sat down, and he asked to talk to me without my dad in the room. He said to me "Hecked, you aren't suicidal. If you were suicidal, you would just do it. You're doing this to get out of school. You know how absurd "over-hydration" is? You weren't likely to die. You were likely to just vomit a lot. So, yeah. Keep trying. You don't want to kill yourself. You want attention. You'll never kill yourself because you don't want to die. Go ahead. Keep trying. Kill yourself. At least you won't be wasting my time. I still get the money every time you do this, but it's getting tiring. So do it."

Wasn't the same since.

What a piece of shit, wow. To me it seems like he was annoyed that you attempted (because how DARE you), so he threw a little tantrum. It's amazing that these people are able to continue working with the things they say. Then again, I think the industry supports this kind of verbal abuse. It's full of idiots of his mentality, who think suicide is some sin committed by evildoers. Absolutely disgusting and pathetic state of affairs.

 

[TheBestUsernameEver]

This was back in late middle school. I first attempted via caffeine and over-hydration, and later by sodium-fluoride poisoning by eating two tubes of Crest toothpaste. This was over the span of two days. Terrible methods, I'm aware. I was a desperate 13 year old. My parents didn't care at the time, but they reluctantly took me to my psychiatrist after my school forced them to.

I liked my psychiatrist at the time. I was very naive and friendly back then, although obviously I had some glaring issues. I got there, we sat down, and he asked to talk to me without my dad in the room. He said to me "Hecked, you aren't suicidal. If you were suicidal, you would just do it. You're doing this to get out of school. You know how absurd "over-hydration" is? You weren't likely to die. You were likely to just vomit a lot. So, yeah. Keep trying. You don't want to kill yourself. You want attention. You'll never kill yourself because you don't want to die. Go ahead. Keep trying. Kill yourself. At least you won't be wasting my time. I still get the money every time you do this, but it's getting tiring. So do it."

Wasn't the same since.

There are a lot of jobsworths in the mental health sector.

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

There are a lot of jobsworths in the mental health sector.

Definitely

 

[FuneralCry]

That is very horrible, some people are just so cruel. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I wish you the best.

 

[blueclover_.]

This was back in late middle school. I first attempted via caffeine and over-hydration, and later by sodium-fluoride poisoning by eating two tubes of Crest toothpaste. This was over the span of two days. Terrible methods, I'm aware. I was a desperate 13 year old. My parents didn't care at the time, but they reluctantly took me to my psychiatrist after my school forced them to.

I liked my psychiatrist at the time. I was very naive and friendly back then, although obviously I had some glaring issues. I got there, we sat down, and he asked to talk to me without my dad in the room. He said to me "Hecked, you aren't suicidal. If you were suicidal, you would just do it. You're doing this to get out of school. You know how absurd "over-hydration" is? You weren't likely to die. You were likely to just vomit a lot. So, yeah. Keep trying. You don't want to kill yourself. You want attention. You'll never kill yourself because you don't want to die. Go ahead. Keep trying. Kill yourself. At least you won't be wasting my time. I still get the money every time you do this, but it's getting tiring. So do it."

Wasn't the same since.

This is why i feel homicidal and suicidal at the same time for the most part. Just, people. Fuck them.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Thats disgusting man. Ive seen many people like that, they blame mental health & suicide on the person, as if they can do anything about it.

 

[waitingforrest]

I can't believe someone would have the audacity to say that to a kid. My worst experiences were all from psychiatrists. I personally think they are paid abusers, at least in my case.

 

[LADY007]

Wtf ? Oo Also - i can relate to the first part about the school. Apparently my school was pretty much "do something or we'll take action". That was in 12th grade.. the psychiatrist i saw at that time just once , she's like is probably just a phase.. what was that ,2014 - 15 - 16 ? Lol is 2022 and im still like this so not a phase ! Some professionals are just assholes.. i also had a russian psychiatrist - he told me that maybe is part of my personality that im depressed.. like ,even said once like he was bit annoyed that he didnt get his money or whatever from the health care that im with.. and when i ODd he was surprised that i had no damage to my liver etc.. and then he put me on Venlafaxine AKA Effexor or Viepax.. i kept telling him is not helpin so he put up to 300mg once a day.. then id get twitches in my sleep or whatever i know cause mammy videod it.. told me to show him so i did n he's like what you want me to do ? I mean common isnt it obvious ? But we in new city now so hopefully im finished with him n on 75mg instead ,is hard to find professionals that'll get you..

Remember you can try a psycho-pharmacologist.. Little talk therapy but VERY knowledgeable about drugs. Find a younger one (25 to 35) They will be familiar with the latest medications.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

This was back in late middle school. I first attempted via caffeine and over-hydration, and later by sodium-fluoride poisoning by eating two tubes of Crest toothpaste. This was over the span of two days. Terrible methods, I'm aware. I was a desperate 13 year old. My parents didn't care at the time, but they reluctantly took me to my psychiatrist after my school forced them to.

I liked my psychiatrist at the time. I was very naive and friendly back then, although obviously I had some glaring issues. I got there, we sat down, and he asked to talk to me without my dad in the room. He said to me "Hecked, you aren't suicidal. If you were suicidal, you would just do it. You're doing this to get out of school. You know how absurd "over-hydration" is? You weren't likely to die. You were likely to just vomit a lot. So, yeah. Keep trying. You don't want to kill yourself. You want attention. You'll never kill yourself because you don't want to die. Go ahead. Keep trying. Kill yourself. At least you won't be wasting my time. I still get the money every time you do this, but it's getting tiring. So do it."

Wasn't the same since.

OMG I am VERY sorry. If I were in your shoes I would've knocked his teeth out. You don't just treat a patient who is going through hell like this, what a pile of garbage! here's a similar story. I remember I had a psychiatrist back at the age of 12 and she was looking FOR ANY reason to throw me back in the ward which I JUST got of for attempting suicide with my fathers shotgun (I couldn't find the ammo and my brother ratted me out after I told a friend from school "good bye" and of course he told my brother.) One day I went to see her and she once again was like "You're acting like such a child, You are going to the ward soon" I had it "I was like "you try it,B**ch and you'll regret it, that I can tell you" (I was willing to beat her up because she was HELL bent on making my life worse) . So she brought my Dad in and said "He's out of control and needs to be impatient immediately" then my father is like "Over my dead body! My son keeps telling me you keep threatening him impatient...Hospital isn't going to fix him! that's your job and honestly you should have your license to help kids revoked! This is my son's last session with you. You're garbage!" He grabbed my hand and we stormed out of there. We thought maybe the POS would call the cops and send them to my house. Dad called my mom and said "We are at uncle bills,if the cops come tell them we haven't came home yet..we'll be here for a couple hours" well she didn't phone the cops and I stopped attending there. This happened in 94. sadly, they seem to side with doctors these days more so than patients. I really hated everything back then.....Nothing's change in fact it's worse, but I just keep to myself because all people seem to do is want to hurt me.

What you went through sounds pretty traumatizing and I hope you'll find peace from it someday.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Don't know if this is coming on too strong but absolutely fuck that garbage piece of shit human. They should not be working in the medical field. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Don't know if this is coming on too strong but absolutely fuck that garbage piece of shit human. They should not be working in the medical field. You didn't deserve that kind of treatment.

No one does. We seek these people for help, but they abuse it while putting one on mind bending drugs and feed you with false hope. Why I'll never seek counseling again. Been through it too many times. If people actually feel like they are being helped then that's fine , but I never felt helped and got nothing from it.

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

OMG I am VERY sorry. If I were in your shoes I would've knocked his teeth out. You don't just treat a patient who is going through hell like this, what a pile of garbage! here's a similar story. I remember I had a psychiatrist back at the age of 12 and she was looking FOR ANY reason to throw me back in the ward which I JUST got of for attempting suicide with my fathers shotgun (I couldn't find the ammo and my brother ratted me out after I told a friend from school "good bye" and of course he told my brother.) One day I went to see her and she once again was like "You're acting like such a child, You are going to the ward soon" I had it "I was like "you try it,B**ch and you'll regret it, that I can tell you" (I was willing to beat her up because she was HELL bent on making my life worse) . So she brought my Dad in and said "He's out of control and needs to be impatient immediately" then my father is like "Over my dead body! My son keeps telling me you keep threatening him impatient...Hospital isn't going to fix him! that's your job and honestly you should have your license to help kids revoked! This is my son's last session with you. You're garbage!" He grabbed my hand and we stormed out of there. We thought maybe the POS would call the cops and send them to my house. Dad called my mom and said "We are at uncle bills,if the cops come tell them we haven't came home yet..we'll be here for a couple hours" well she didn't phone the cops and I stopped attending there. This happened in 94. sadly, they seem to side with doctors these days more so than patients. I really hated everything back then.....Nothing's change in fact it's worse, but I just keep to myself because all people seem to do is want to hurt me.

What you went through sounds pretty traumatizing and I hope you'll find peace from it someday.

That's amazing that you stood up to her! Yeah, at the time I was going through constant bullying and sleep deprivation. It was intolerable, even then.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

That's amazing that you stood up to her! Yeah, at the time I was going through constant bullying and sleep deprivation. It was intolerable, even then.

Thanks. I was LIVID with her and eventually I just said in my head "I don't care anymore' and went for it. As a kid I was bullied too for being a fat kid. They were so extreme to where I got shot in the leg with what I believe was a glock. That's a pain you don't forget. The searing pain. Thankfully it healed with no lasting damage. My father went to the kids house with his shot gun and threatened both him and the dad. He didn't shoot them like I thought he would. However he did blow out the tires and windows of the car with it though. Dad served some jail time,while my cousin chad took a chain from my uncles car garage and beat the bullies one inch of their life and then went on the run so he could avoid being arrested (It was the 80s...it worked). However it got worse My bullies started throwing rocks at our house, sugar in the car gas tank,but the one that made us move from there was they set fire to our front lawn. We moved to my grandfathers house and that was that. I was still bullied a bit in the new school, but this time I was able to fight back and got in more trouble myself...all because I stuck up for myself. School sucked!

 

[ItsMe-Hecked]

Thanks. I was LIVID with her and eventually I just said in my head "I don't care anymore' and went for it. As a kid I was bullied too for being a fat kid. They were so extreme to where I got shot in the leg with what I believe was a glock. That's a pain you don't forget. The searing pain. Thankfully it healed with no lasting damage. My father went to the kids house with his shot gun and threatened both him and the dad. He didn't shoot them like I thought he would. However he did blow out the tires and windows of the car with it though. Dad served some jail time,while my cousin chad took a chain from my uncles car garage and beat the bullies one inch of their life and then went on the run so he could avoid being arrested (It was the 80s...it worked). However it got worse My bullies started throwing rocks at our house, sugar in the car gas tank,but the one that made us move from there was they set fire to our front lawn. We moved to my grandfathers house and that was that. I was still bullied a bit in the new school, but this time I was able to fight back and got in more trouble myself...all because I stuck up for myself. School sucked!

That's insane, a glock! I'm lucky to have never gotten into physical fights. Bullying nowadays is mostly psychological. I'm sorry you went through that :/

 

[gr1lledcheese]

This was back in late middle school. I first attempted via caffeine and over-hydration, and later by sodium-fluoride poisoning by eating two tubes of Crest toothpaste. This was over the span of two days. Terrible methods, I'm aware. I was a desperate 13 year old. My parents didn't care at the time, but they reluctantly took me to my psychiatrist after my school forced them to.

I liked my psychiatrist at the time. I was very naive and friendly back then, although obviously I had some glaring issues. I got there, we sat down, and he asked to talk to me without my dad in the room. He said to me "Hecked, you aren't suicidal. If you were suicidal, you would just do it. You're doing this to get out of school. You know how absurd "over-hydration" is? You weren't likely to die. You were likely to just vomit a lot. So, yeah. Keep trying. You don't want to kill yourself. You want attention. You'll never kill yourself because you don't want to die. Go ahead. Keep trying. Kill yourself. At least you won't be wasting my time. I still get the money every time you do this, but it's getting tiring. So do it."

Wasn't the same since.

That's horrible! I know it's difficult to find a good psychiatrist, and this is just further proof. What an awful man. I'm sorry you had to have that experience.

 

[Simba]

Remember you can try a psycho-pharmacologist.. Little talk therapy but VERY knowledgeable about drugs. Find a younger one (25 to 35) They will be familiar with the latest medications.

Ive never heard of a psychopharmacologist before.. dunno if there is in my country