So it's not ideal but I guess it's never perfect.
I need to CTB asap. I live with my parents who watch me very carefully. My plan is to:
1. I've identified several Airbnb properties near me that are upper floors, like 20th floor, with balconies. I want to jump. Originally I wanted to jump from a parking garage or bridge or other high location but the problem is that I am extremely physically weak and have extremely weak wrists with carpal tunnel / tendinitis. Even a standard 42" barrier, I couldn't see how to get over it. I'm five feet. Am I missing something? So frustrating because I would read all these stories of people CTB'ing at all these different places and I'd check it out and there were places that didn't even have suicide fencing but I don't see any way I can possibly get over even a standard barrier! Unless I'm missing something? I mean I would read stories of older people CTB'ing off these things and they can't be very strong, right? Or maybe I'm just abnormally weak :( anyway so that pretty much eliminated any public jumping spot cuz any high spot is gonna have at least the standard railings right?? This rules out SO MANY OPTIONS!! It's so frustrating cuz I literally have no issues / hesitation / SI / fear about the jump itself it's just my stupid wrists! It's just getting over the barrier, like I have no qualms about the jump!
So then I have to do something a little trickier and more complicated. Idk if this is doomed to fail so I'm hoping someone can sanity check me. I CANNOT FAIL! So my plan is to wait until my mom goes out of town which she does every several months. Because I think she's more likely to hear me sneaking out than my dad. I'm gonna keep looking for AirBNB options till I have a massive list, such that once she announces her plans to go I can do a booking hoping at least one is available. It does seem like some looking at the availability now for instance aren't filled out for months and months or anything like that … And maybe by that time there'll be more available / I can look for more. So I have a bank account they have access to, and one they don't - they know about it but can't see it. It's a savings account so I guess I'll use Apple wallet or PayPal to pay for the Airbnb? Then I would have to be able to check in to the Airbnb in the middle of the night (I think a lot have some kind of self check in?) cuz the plan would be wait till my dads asleep, book an Uber, sneak out, get to the place, check in…from there hoping it'll be pretty simple, quickly grab a chair bring it over to the balcony railing, on chair, jump, done. All before my dad wakes up.
I need to CTB asap. I live with my parents who watch me very carefully. My plan is to:
1. I've identified several Airbnb properties near me that are upper floors, like 20th floor, with balconies. I want to jump. Originally I wanted to jump from a parking garage or bridge or other high location but the problem is that I am extremely physically weak and have extremely weak wrists with carpal tunnel / tendinitis. Even a standard 42" barrier, I couldn't see how to get over it. I'm five feet. Am I missing something? So frustrating because I would read all these stories of people CTB'ing at all these different places and I'd check it out and there were places that didn't even have suicide fencing but I don't see any way I can possibly get over even a standard barrier! Unless I'm missing something? I mean I would read stories of older people CTB'ing off these things and they can't be very strong, right? Or maybe I'm just abnormally weak :( anyway so that pretty much eliminated any public jumping spot cuz any high spot is gonna have at least the standard railings right?? This rules out SO MANY OPTIONS!! It's so frustrating cuz I literally have no issues / hesitation / SI / fear about the jump itself it's just my stupid wrists! It's just getting over the barrier, like I have no qualms about the jump!
So then I have to do something a little trickier and more complicated. Idk if this is doomed to fail so I'm hoping someone can sanity check me. I CANNOT FAIL! So my plan is to wait until my mom goes out of town which she does every several months. Because I think she's more likely to hear me sneaking out than my dad. I'm gonna keep looking for AirBNB options till I have a massive list, such that once she announces her plans to go I can do a booking hoping at least one is available. It does seem like some looking at the availability now for instance aren't filled out for months and months or anything like that … And maybe by that time there'll be more available / I can look for more. So I have a bank account they have access to, and one they don't - they know about it but can't see it. It's a savings account so I guess I'll use Apple wallet or PayPal to pay for the Airbnb? Then I would have to be able to check in to the Airbnb in the middle of the night (I think a lot have some kind of self check in?) cuz the plan would be wait till my dads asleep, book an Uber, sneak out, get to the place, check in…from there hoping it'll be pretty simple, quickly grab a chair bring it over to the balcony railing, on chair, jump, done. All before my dad wakes up.
