• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
X

XBunnyBoyx

Member
Jun 10, 2023
23
Hello!

I am very happy about my decision to CTB sooner than later. I have foraged over 200 poison hemlock seeds, and after lots of consideration, I think I have a pretty solid plan so far.

This is what I have in mind. It's a 3-Phase plan.

1. Inebriation: My first portion of the plan will be me getting as high as I possibly can on multiple depressants, like alcohol (probably using champagne), kratom tea, and various Delta products to get a relaxing high. During that time, I'll likely reflect on a lot of things about life and why I'm glad I'm finally making this decision. Likely, I'll feel free from the pain I've experienced over half of my life and freedom from a world where I have nothing and nobody.

2. Sleep: Further inebriating myself, I'll drink sleep aid and mix it with alcohol so I can start to fall asleep slowly. Making it to this point, I definitely will have accepted my fate and felt that this is the right decision. The purpose of this step is to prevent me from having a chance to change my mind.

3. Poison: Right before I go to sleep, I'll consume as much of the ground up hemlock seeds as possible. By this point, I expect to be pretty much asleep, maybe even comatose, either possibly choke on vomit (worst case scenario) or stop breathing. Because I live with nobody, the likelihood that I'll be gone within a day is high.

I'm very happy that I'm finally choosing to be free. I feel like I've done everything I really can in life. All I have to look forward to in this life is trauma, failure, and loneliness. There's something better for me somewhere else. I could do something better in another world.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: elkheart, bipolar22, FadingSnowFake and 2 others
FadingSnowFake

FadingSnowFake

Enlightened
Nov 25, 2024
1,591
Hello, I'm sorry that it came to this for you in this world. It sounds like you have it all planned, that you will be leaving in peace to the next world, and I also wish you only the best on this journey.

I never knew of these seeds and have learned something new from you, thank you for sharing. It appears they are even sold on amazon, however for gardening purposes it seems. A thought came to mind that perhaps it is worth looking into as an alternative option to SN. Anyways, when are you planning on implementing your plan?
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
9,352
By all accounts, hemlock is a horrendous way to die. Lots of pain and discomfort. By no means a peaceful death.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,830
I wish you the best, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.
 
Sbetto

Sbetto

√\____/√\___/√\__/√\_/__________Chill guy
Dec 6, 2024
208
Hello, I'm sorry that it came to this for you in this world. It sounds like you have it all planned, that you will be leaving in peace to the next world, and I also wish you only the best on this journey.

I never knew of these seeds and have learned something new from you, thank you for sharing. It appears they are even sold on amazon, however for gardening purposes it seems. A thought came to mind that perhaps it is worth looking into as an alternative option to SN. Anyways, when are you planning on implementing your plan?
I don't think it's a good idea to compare death by hemlock to death by SN.
From what I understand, SN causes you to pass out within about 15 minutes because not enough oxygen flows to the brain, and you die unconscious due to respiratory failure.
Hemlock, which I assume is Conium maculatum (the same plant used by Socrates), is a poisonous plant that causes progressive muscle paralysis until it paralyzes the respiratory muscles, like the diaphragm.
So, unless you are heavily sedated, as the original poster described, it is a very painful and distressing process because you will remain conscious throughout the entire suffocation process caused by muscle paralysis.
You would feel yourself suffocating as if you were being hanged
 
  • Like
Reactions: TotalEclipse, GoPeacefully, FadingSnowFake and 1 other person
FadingSnowFake

FadingSnowFake

Enlightened
Nov 25, 2024
1,591
I don't think it's a good idea to compare death by hemlock to death by SN.
From what I understand, SN causes you to pass out within about 15 minutes because not enough oxygen flows to the brain, and you die unconscious due to respiratory failure.
Hemlock, which I assume is Conium maculatum (the same plant used by Socrates), is a poisonous plant that causes progressive muscle paralysis until it paralyzes the respiratory muscles, like the diaphragm.
So, unless you are heavily sedated, as the original poster described, it is a very painful and distressing process because you will remain conscious throughout the entire suffocation process caused by muscle paralysis.
You would feel yourself suffocating as if you were being hanged
Oh dear, thank you for explaining this.
 
  • Love
Reactions: Sbetto
X

XBunnyBoyx

Member
Jun 10, 2023
23
Hello, I'm sorry that it came to this for you in this world. It sounds like you have it all planned, that you will be leaving in peace to the next world, and I also wish you only the best on this journey.

I never knew of these seeds and have learned something new from you, thank you for sharing. It appears they are even sold on amazon, however for gardening purposes it seems. A thought came to mind that perhaps it is worth looking into as an alternative option to SN. Anyways, when are you planning on implementing your plan?
As of tomorrow, I'll have enough money to obtain the remainder of the stuff I'm gonna use for my plan. I already have over 200 hemlock seeds and lots of THC gummies and THC seltzers.

I'm thinking of going through with this plan next month.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: FadingSnowFake
FadingSnowFake

FadingSnowFake

Enlightened
Nov 25, 2024
1,591
As of tomorrow, I'll have enough money to obtain the remainder of the stuff I'm gonna use for my plan. I already have over 200 hemlock seeds and lots of THC gummies and THC seltzers.

I'm thinking of going through with this plan next month.
Good to hear from you, I thought that you may have left us already. I've since learned that using hemlock is very painful, and there has been another thread on it as well. I'm sorry that you feel there is no other option for you, as I believe you will have done your research. For me, I doubt if THC will be enough for the painful process, and together with other stuff, it may end up making me lose focus on the task. Do you know how long it may take? Here's the other link in case you wanted to have a look:

 
A

Aprilwithcake

Member
Mar 19, 2025
42
Hemlock will suck I think why not find SN?
 

Similar threads

H
Replies
4
Views
144
Suicide Discussion
apooka
apooka
Horrible_dumb_mfer
Replies
6
Views
351
Suicide Discussion
gunmetalblue
gunmetalblue
M
Replies
7
Views
259
Suicide Discussion
Memorius
M
A
Replies
0
Views
84
Suicide Discussion
alien_antinatalist
A