My life is meaningless. My social skills non-existent. It's just porn and video games everyday. I heard that some people travel to Switzerland for euthanasia, suicide tourism if you will. It's probably expensive for 3rd Worlder like me. But at least this time, my enslavement to a corporation has goal to free me from life.
You are the one who has to give your life meaning. I spent ten years waiting for something to happen, a change to happen, for meaning to be given to me. It never happened. I was just waiting to die at that point. I had to get up and do it myself. It worked for about 6 years, my goals have changed, but when I stop trying after one goal fails, the suicidal ideation comes back.
Porn is your worst enemy. Quit it. Video games with other people have given you some social skills, don't sell yourself short! My social skills were 0 prior to me working toward a goal.
Of course, taking the goal to end one's life is more admirable than sitting and waiting for something to happen [when doing so will guarantee nothing will happen].
Based on your past posts, you're 22? You have a buttload of potential on age alone to make things work. You also may want to go to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis cuz you've got some thought processes that are extremely problematic [wishing to kill people times
and thinking your mindset is similar to Hitler's]. Your posts are basically power fantasies of making other people suffer, either by killing them or killing yourself and savouring how much it's going to hurt others. At that age, you should not be having edgy thoughts like that. It speaks toward a mental illness that you need to get checked as soon as possible. The medication they give you just might be able to help with your feelings of hopelessness and give you some motivation to do something good. Your mother seems to be reasonable and a caring person. Wishing to harm her and
wishing that she died in a mass shooting is sick.
