My only compelling reason to live

[Supersadmommy90]

Trigger warning, atheists won't like this so I'll save you the trouble.
Does anyone else feel compelled to live solely in service to others despite dep and melancholy to the greatest unbearable extreme. The reason that compels me to live is to help others avoid the same pitfalls (nothing to do with my political views). Stating because someone may someday take out of context. I don't regret holding any views I've expressed. BUT I regret many personal bad decisions the consequences of which are lifelong.
I see God (I know some don't believe) has given me a mentorship and an office in life however humble. I feel God wants me to live for His own reasons but I want to take my life. This is a constant irritant that drives me nuts. Posting in the suicide forum, not in recovery. I know this will p some people off as well. Sorry but this is just how I wanted to express myself by talking to people who don't want to try and live anyone!! Not people who have an ounce of optimism about their circumstances!!

 

[TheLastFemaphrodyke]

God, mother, friend, lover, does not matter the name you apply to the reason you choose to continue living in service to another, does not matter that I am an atheist, I do not find this offensive, I find this an honest assessment of your reasonings on continuing to live. They may not be my reasonings or someone else's reasonings but they are yours and they are valid.

My own reasonings for sticking around are not too far off from yours, though I do not stick around in service to any deity, I stick around in service of my service animal who has served me for 16 years, faithfully, with love at first sight and never ending.

As for posting here versus posting in some recovery forum, isn't that like kinda up to you where you feel comfort posting and find comfort to be able to continue on your mission to serve another?
Pretty sure your invisible friend would not mind where you find the sustenance to perform your duties, you are still here, still performing them.

If your god were that unreasonable that it would not allow you to maintain your own being to be able to perform that which it asks of you, why would you want to serve it? You wouldn't. Sounds more like a human tyrant than a mighty and all knowing god of any kind. Pretty sure, anything with a moniker of deity is smart enough to realize this as well. So how could any deity disapprove?

You want to goof off at work and not do your job by leaving this life, yet you come on here and type some crap out, and are able to carry on and keep doing your job of staying alive even though you want to go to TGIFridays and slam shots until you puke a lung. I am pretty sure a God picks it's battles and this would not be one of them.