vampire2002
weeb & neet ♡
- Oct 8, 2023
- 140
i really miss one of my old childhood friends. for years i have thought about reaching out to her, but always chicken out. i often wonder how she's doing, since she also always had mental health struggles when we were young.
we stopped communicating on sort of bad terms, because i misspoke and what i meant to say came out differently and it upset her and i was always too anxious and cowardly to apologize and clarify (this was many years ago when i was a teenager.) we didn't have a fight or anything, it just suddenly ended with an awkward communication when we used to be best friends.
since i might ctb in a few months, i wonder if i should try to talk to her again so i don't have any regrets about this. but then maybe that would just be causing another person pain if i do go through with my plans.
maybe she hates me and doesn't want to hear from me anyway. some people say i should try and she'd probably be happy to hear from me, others say to let sleeping dogs lie. perhaps her not reaching out to me means she's not interested in talking to me, or maybe she's anxious the same way i am.
i feel quite conflicted and unsure what to do. maybe i'm being selfish by trying to insert myself into her life again, maybe i'm just missing the past, but truthfully, i just want to hear from her. it's embarrassing, but i even still have dreams about her.
i've never been very good at communicating. i regret so deeply not clearing things up when i was younger. maybe then we'd still be friends.
we stopped communicating on sort of bad terms, because i misspoke and what i meant to say came out differently and it upset her and i was always too anxious and cowardly to apologize and clarify (this was many years ago when i was a teenager.) we didn't have a fight or anything, it just suddenly ended with an awkward communication when we used to be best friends.
since i might ctb in a few months, i wonder if i should try to talk to her again so i don't have any regrets about this. but then maybe that would just be causing another person pain if i do go through with my plans.
maybe she hates me and doesn't want to hear from me anyway. some people say i should try and she'd probably be happy to hear from me, others say to let sleeping dogs lie. perhaps her not reaching out to me means she's not interested in talking to me, or maybe she's anxious the same way i am.
i feel quite conflicted and unsure what to do. maybe i'm being selfish by trying to insert myself into her life again, maybe i'm just missing the past, but truthfully, i just want to hear from her. it's embarrassing, but i even still have dreams about her.
i've never been very good at communicating. i regret so deeply not clearing things up when i was younger. maybe then we'd still be friends.
