My note to my partner and my friend

[TheLostCause]

Ive hand written as a draft this but ive typed it out here because i don't know how to remove the possibility of tracing of pictures. Im relatively happy with it but i feel something is missing. This is just 1 of 4 notes i have to write to the relevant people.

Dear (My partner),
Im so sorry i have to write this but i cannot continue any longer. I love you far more than i show but ive always been scared to show how i feel. Ive caused you enough pain and suffering and this will be the last time so you can go ahead and live the the life you deserve.
I suffer so much on a daily basis even if i dont show it. Im tormented by my own thoughts and feelings. I tried going down the path of professional help but it just doesnt make a difference and i cannot do some of the things they expect of me. It makes me feel inferior, that there is something wrong with me and if i show or display any outward emotions to anyone i feel weak.
Im tired of fighting my way through life, everything everyone does on a daily basis with ease i find so incredibly difficult and it just isnt worth it anymore.
Please do not blame yourself for anything. This is 100% my choice and i choose to leave this world as it just isnt for me.

Love (My name) <3 xxx


Ive now done my second note to my friend so here it is.

Dear (Friends name),
Im so sorry to be writing to you under these circumstances.
I want to thank you for being such an amazing friend despite everything you have had to deal with from me.
Im done fighting my way through life, at this point am just existing and not living. I dont belong in this world and so i take my exit.
Thankyou for everything and i hope you have a long and happy life <3

From (My name)

 

[TheLostCause]

So i have finished my last two notes. One to my other friend and one to my mum.

Dear (Friends name),
I am sorry but i had to leave this world as none of it was intended for me.
Thankyou for being such a good friend, from putting up with me at shool to being so supportive even now all these years later.
Keep at your art, i absolutely love everything you draw/make, you have an amazing talent.
Thankyou for your offer for me to live with you one you have your own place but i just wont be able to join you.
I hope you have a long and happy life.

From (My name)


Dear mum,
I am sorry for what i have chosen to do. Its been a long time coming. Please do not blame anything on (partners name), he has had to deal with alot from me and i have made it very difficult on him, yet he stuck with me.
Ive been struggling with my mental health for a long time but i was too ashamed to admit it. I didnt want to admit to you that i wasnt the strong bright person you thought me to be. These last couple of years i have found life so much more difficult. I hid it from you as i didnt want you to worry.
I dont believe i was meant for this world and i am sorry for the pain i have caused and the pain i am causing now. But please know i am now at peace and finally, truly happy.

Love you lots (My name) <3 xxx



Now i have finished my notes i will write them up into more than drafts probably tomorrow. But i feel idk calm? more accepting of my choice to ctb, i feel its the right choice for me.