RedDEE
Life sucks and then you die.
- May 10, 2019
- 356
I wrote this a long time ago, and this is what I'm gonna leave whenever I stop being a coward and finally do it.
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Monsters.
This is a note for everyone who wants to know why. There are monsters in our heads. These monsters are of our own creation - at least, we give them a spark of life. We give them the first breathe of life, and we maintain them and keep them alive, just like a child. And at first, they can just be a nagging pain. A splinter.
But this splinter turns into a tooth ache. And these tooth aches turn into bone breaks. The monster begins to take life of it's own. Growing in your mind like a cancer. Spreading like a wildfire. Feeding off of all your fears and all your negativity, and growing. Until is smarter, and bigger than you are. You no longer hold this monster in your mind, it holds you in it's mind.
These monsters breathe the air you breathe. Every time your lungs take a breathe, the monster does too. Every time your heart beats, it's heart also beats. I face a dillema, dear loved ones. The monster inside my mind is very close to completely taking me over. It wants control of my life, and only wants to torture me. I am literally tortured, my life is a torture chamber.
With the spark of will and conciousness I still possess, I commit this final act, not out of surrender, but as the final chess move in a long, exhausting game of chess I have been fighting. I will not lose this fight. I must choose from becoming a Prisoner Of War, while the monster takes full control, and forever rot in this cage. Or slay the beast that lay in my mind.
Do not call me a coward. I am a fighter, and I do not go out without a fight. I will not let this monster win. My death is not a suicide. Please don't think I am in hell because I killed myself. I am not killing myself. I am slaying the most fearsome, terrible beast imaginable. If I do not kill it, I will forever perish in it's cage. I must die, I must sacrifice myself to kill it, there is no other way. Checkmate. Don't worry. After my death, I will be in heaven, and I'll see you all there.
-----------------------------------
Monsters.
This is a note for everyone who wants to know why. There are monsters in our heads. These monsters are of our own creation - at least, we give them a spark of life. We give them the first breathe of life, and we maintain them and keep them alive, just like a child. And at first, they can just be a nagging pain. A splinter.
But this splinter turns into a tooth ache. And these tooth aches turn into bone breaks. The monster begins to take life of it's own. Growing in your mind like a cancer. Spreading like a wildfire. Feeding off of all your fears and all your negativity, and growing. Until is smarter, and bigger than you are. You no longer hold this monster in your mind, it holds you in it's mind.
These monsters breathe the air you breathe. Every time your lungs take a breathe, the monster does too. Every time your heart beats, it's heart also beats. I face a dillema, dear loved ones. The monster inside my mind is very close to completely taking me over. It wants control of my life, and only wants to torture me. I am literally tortured, my life is a torture chamber.
With the spark of will and conciousness I still possess, I commit this final act, not out of surrender, but as the final chess move in a long, exhausting game of chess I have been fighting. I will not lose this fight. I must choose from becoming a Prisoner Of War, while the monster takes full control, and forever rot in this cage. Or slay the beast that lay in my mind.
Do not call me a coward. I am a fighter, and I do not go out without a fight. I will not let this monster win. My death is not a suicide. Please don't think I am in hell because I killed myself. I am not killing myself. I am slaying the most fearsome, terrible beast imaginable. If I do not kill it, I will forever perish in it's cage. I must die, I must sacrifice myself to kill it, there is no other way. Checkmate. Don't worry. After my death, I will be in heaven, and I'll see you all there.
