Venting My mom heard me crying in the morning

[Hangnail]

I had a disfiguring surgery and my mom heard me crying to myself in the morning. She sends me a text. Her reaction? Telling me to do the laundry.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

Here's a thing - people don't know how to handle tense situations like that very well.
She's probably thinking "my son/daughter had a fucking ton of bricks fall on them. How do I make them feel normal despite that fact?"
She's probably not a therapist. Even if she was, she'd probably not want to be your therapist because of that family connection.
She may be trying to make you feel normal despite the surgery, like "yeah, you just had a shitton of bricks fall directly on your face, but you're still capable of doing the laundry."
edit: I admittedly don't know how disfiguring the surgery was.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

That's absolutely rotten how that heartless carcass ignored your suffering and demanded labor from you!

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

That's absolutely rotten how that heartless carcass ignored your suffering and demanded labor from you!

Here's the thing, when I basically lost my right half (I estimate it works like 30% after the bonk), I REFUSED any help. Vehemently.
None of them walking sticks, no crutches, no nothing. I'm still a normal human, and fuck you if you think otherwise.
Very temporarily lost the approach when social security offered money help, though... >.>;;
I learned to live with it. I suspect the mom is trying, albeit failing to do the same.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Here's a thing - people don't know how to handle tense situations like that very well.
She's probably thinking "my son/daughter had a fucking ton of bricks fall on them. How do I make them feel normal despite that fact?"
She's probably not a therapist. Even if she was, she'd probably not want to be your therapist because of that family connection.
She may be trying to make you feel normal despite the surgery, like "yeah, you just had a shitton of bricks fall directly on your face, but you're still capable of doing the laundry."
edit: I admittedly don't know how disfiguring the surgery was.

This all feels like gymnastics to me. Why wouldn't your first thought be to comfort your crying child? Am I in crazyland?

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, some people really are insensitive. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I wish you relief from suffering.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

This all feels like gymnastics to me. Why wouldn't your first thought be to comfort your crying child? Am I in crazyland?

I mean, this is Ukrainian standards, "big boys don't cry" type of bull. It's all over the world in various ways.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I mean, this is Ukrainian standards, "big boys don't cry" type of bull. It's all over the world in various ways.

The OP is Ukrainian?

 

[summers]

@ArtsyDrawer maybe your mom is being like this because she knows that the world is a tough place. Your country is literally being invaded as you post this.

It's not that she doesn't care, it's that when she's gone, no one else will.

Or maybe she thinks routine and normalcy will help.

Be careful with assuming her motives are out of malice. You may wind up hating someone who loves you the most.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

@Hangnail I know this might be a bit much to ask but have you tried talking to your mother about this? Maybe talking to her might help.