Venting My mom doesnt even care if i die.

[sad_chickennugget]

Since I was little I always just sort of knew that she didn't like me. My father said she was just always like that and she never liked me since I was born. It hurts, but it's worse than that because she knows have been struggling to eat and then she says things like "I've noticed that you've gained weight" and other shit like that. She is the one who made me hate my body. I hadn't eaten anything for three days, and all she had to say was that she noticed I had lost a little bit of weight. The way that she said it made it obvious that it wasn't enough for her. I lost 10 pounds in a week, I currently at 110. I am 5'4. I have lost nearly all of my muscle and she doesn't care. I will never be skinny enough for her. I am so tired of waiting for her to apologize, and for her to love me. I don't think it will happen. At the rate I am going, I will starve to death trying to make her like me. I wish my overdose attempt had worked. It would of saved me from this.

 

[HighFlight]

It is truly sad for a parent to treat their child in this fashion. I'm sorry you have been forced to endure all that. It's not your responsibility to make her like you. And while getting appropriate validation from your parents is important for normal development, you shouldn't have to put up with this. Hopefully you have a good relationship with your dad, and can tell him what your going through.

If you don't have anyone else to talk to about this, I'm sure there is someone here that can better relate and would be willing to PM.

I hope you can find some peace.

 

[Worndown]

Some people are just jerks. Some of them have children.
I am sorry you were her child.
You need to live life for her. There are many children that gave up on a bad parent. Life is not instantly better, but it gives you the chance to live without being abused. That is what everyone deserves.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it especially dreadful when people force life into this world just to treat that person so cruelly, it must be awful being around someone like that.

 

[BlazingBob]

Neither of my parents give a shit. My dad has actually encouraged me to ctb. They hate each other and hate their kids. I kept trying to get them to love and care about me but after over 4 decades I finally realized it was an empty well.

 

[ctb7767]

Since I was little I always just sort of knew that she didn't like me. My father said she was just always like that and she never liked me since I was born. It hurts, but it's worse than that because she knows have been struggling to eat and then she says things like "I've noticed that you've gained weight" and other shit like that. She is the one who made me hate my body. I hadn't eaten anything for three days, and all she had to say was that she noticed I had lost a little bit of weight. The way that she said it made it obvious that it wasn't enough for her. I lost 10 pounds in a week, I currently at 110. I am 5'4. I have lost nearly all of my muscle and she doesn't care. I will never be skinny enough for her. I am so tired of waiting for her to apologize, and for her to love me. I don't think it will happen. At the rate I am going, I will starve to death trying to make her like me. I wish my overdose attempt had worked. It would of saved me from this.

Is this the reason you want to CTB? If so just forget about them. I made the mistake of trying to make things work with my parents for years. They aren't going to change and they don't even want to.

 

[ChampagneSupernova]

Since I was little I always just sort of knew that she didn't like me. My father said she was just always like that and she never liked me since I was born. It hurts, but it's worse than that because she knows have been struggling to eat and then she says things like "I've noticed that you've gained weight" and other shit like that. She is the one who made me hate my body. I hadn't eaten anything for three days, and all she had to say was that she noticed I had lost a little bit of weight. The way that she said it made it obvious that it wasn't enough for her. I lost 10 pounds in a week, I currently at 110. I am 5'4. I have lost nearly all of my muscle and she doesn't care. I will never be skinny enough for her. I am so tired of waiting for her to apologize, and for her to love me. I don't think it will happen. At the rate I am going, I will starve to death trying to make her like me. I wish my overdose attempt had worked. It would of saved me from this.

If this is the reason for wanting to CTB, should try separating from her. Treat it as if she died, do your mourning, and go no contact. You're obviously free to do what you like. However, going NC and accepting her as gone might change how you feel. Some parents should have never had kids. Wishing the best for you .

Edit: I know this was tagged as venting. So certainly not trying to offer any help or advice, just my 2 cents. Take care

 

[randal_bond]

Your mother is not worth your life - or death. I hope it's not because of her. But going no contact would be a good idea as soon as you can. Start working on getting financially independent and moving out if you can. And don't share your plans with anyone. Active abuse is worse than neglect. She seems to be doing a bit of both, but is mostly neglectful. Parents like this end up being estranged and never see their grandchildren grow up.

BTW, she's not getting any younger, and the time will come when she will remember about you because she will need somebody to take care of her old decrepit self. And guess what? She will have to do it herself the best way she can.

Sending you hugs if you want them.

 

[sadandlonely99]

No biological parent has ever cared about their children dying. If they did they wouldn't have brought them into a world of guaranteed death. To give life is to kill a life since every birth leads to death & no one has died who has never lived

 

[wheretfami]

Next time she says you've 'gained weight', ask if she's taking to herself again.

All children deserve parents. Not all parents deserve children. There's nothing wrong with you, it's her cruel attitude.

If she doesn't want to be loving to you, it's not your fault. That's a choice people make for themselves, and you can't control that no matter what you do, but that doesn't mean you're wrong.

Why tf does she care to make snide comments to begin with? Probably insecurity. A grown adult who bullies, that's pathetic. She's scared you'll be better than her, and she's probably right homie.

You don't owe anyone your life or your body, so you don't need to harm yourself for her. No one that's worth your love would ask you to do that. She won't be in your life forever, and that leaves space for the real ones to come.

No one owns your body but you, which will never change. You deserve good health, and she can shove her attitude.

Sorry..... I don't fucking put up with bullies.