My mom caught me seconds before CTB

[-FrozenRobot-]

Today I remembered that I had a tie from high school in my bag and I went to grab it. My mom was sitting in that room. I managed to take it secretly to my room. Then I was looking for how to tie a knot and suddenly my mom walked in. I quickly hid the tie under the table. But she started searching and somehow found it out. She lectured me for some 30 minutes and immediately called my therapist. Now she's going to burn that tie.
I don't know what to do now. I thought of practicing with it and doing it like that Syrian girl but hell. Now I have nothing.
I'm hopeless. Meds aren't helping me.

 

[supermario]

A very similar thing happened to me three weeks ago. In the middle of the night, ,I tried to sneak out of the house to take SN (I was desperate). My sister caught me on the streets as I was about to step into a Uber. She apparently was awoken by a bad nightmare the moment I stepped out of the house. My family tells me it's a sign from above that I need to hold on. Maybe this is your so called "sign" as well if you believe in that kind of stuff.

 

[summers]

@-FrozenRobot- it sounds like your situation is very unstable. I don't think you should ever attempt when someone else is home, and you have to sneak around. First, your last moments should be peaceful, not full of stress of getting caught. Second, if you are stopped mid-attempt, you may have permanent brain or nerve damage, and your life would be worse than it is now.

As bad as your life is, a failed attempt can make it much,much worse, in a lot of different ways. Wish you all the best.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

Second, if you are stopped mid-attempt, you may have permanent brain or nerve damage, and your life would be worse than it is now.

Exactly this. Unfortunately, we do not have a guaranteed right to die. So, when evaluating suicide, it is always important to ask yourself "What happens if I fail?" It's bad now - being a vegetable will be much, much worse. And then you may not ever have the opportunity to ctb again. Hanging takes awhile. I've heard different estimates, but I'd say you need a minimum of 30 minutes you know will be uninterrupted (if anyone thinks it should be longer as a minimum, please comment a reply - I don't want to misinform anyone). More time is always preferred. If you can't be sure you have those 30 minutes (as sure as you can be about anything), then you should not attempt. It's just not worth the risk. What would have happened if your seizing body started making noise 10 minutes into the hanging and "hero" mom came in and "saved" you? I'm not exactly sure - it would depend on a multitude of factors - but I know it would be nothing good.

 

[DeutscheKartoffel]

Today I remembered that I had a tie from high school in my bag and I went to grab it. My mom was sitting in that room. I managed to take it secretly to my room. Then I was looking for how to tie a knot and suddenly my mom walked in. I quickly hid the tie under the table. But she started searching and somehow found it out. She lectured me for some 30 minutes and immediately called my therapist. Now she's going to burn that tie.
I don't know what to do now. I thought of practicing with it and doing it like that Syrian girl but hell. Now I have nothing.
I'm hopeless. Meds aren't helping me.

if you think meds are not helping you,
what about sitting down and speaking with a clinical psychologist/counsellor?

like to go through what's on your mind and stuff.
what bothers you? i.e. what is the issue?

Most people have an issue/something that bothers them, which cause them to be suicidal/depressed imo

 

[Choco]

@-FrozenRobot- it sounds like your situation is very unstable. I don't think you should ever attempt when someone else is home, and you have to sneak around. First, your last moments should be peaceful, not full of stress of getting caught. Second, if you are stopped mid-attempt, you may have permanent brain or nerve damage, and your life would be worse than it is now.

As bad as your life is, a failed attempt can make it much,much worse, in a lot of different ways. Wish you all the best.

But with Sn as much as I know It doesn´t cause brain damage if you fail

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are in this situation. I believe ctb is a personal decision, we have the right to exit at a time of our own choosing and nobody else should have any say in it. The problem is that other people are selfish, they want us to stay alive for their sake and they do not respect our right to die. I can imagine it must be like being trapped being in this situation. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[-FrozenRobot-]

But with Sn as much as I know It doesn´t cause brain damage if you fail

Good sn is hard to procure.