Venting My mind won’t work

[ABadPerson]

Does anyone feel as though they have so much to say yet their minds just… Won't let it form into a proper thought?

It's like a plug that lodged into my mind, I hate this feeling so much; I'm just not sure what's wrong with this body, or this mind it all feels so foreign to me. I can only genuinely properly think only in bad mental breakdowns and a lot of the time it's too bad for me to even type anything anyways.

I struggle to even reply to post I genuinely want to reply to, I feel like such an idiot.

It hurts so bad in such a weird way, it's like mental pressure pressing from all sides wanting to just scream out in utter intensity; I keep switching between sanity and grief over how bad it is affecting me right now, I keep focusing right back anytime I still try to distract myself yet it won't come out and won't form anything.

It's genuine mental torture, I'm not sure what to do; I been taking antidepressants for almost 2 weeks now and it hasn't done anything. The weird pain in my head is getting too much for me.

My mind is so numbing, I'm crying yet don't even understand why; what's wrong with me?

 

[ABadPerson]

I'm so unloveable
I want to scream into the void

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I had to linger here for a bit, wrestling with these thoughts
I have theories as to why,
but they remain elusive to me,,
It's easier to worm together cohesive thoughts in writing than aloud you agree?,, my voice scatters them,, every thought.
My mind pumps out concepts faster than I can sort them, leaving me fumbling for what coherence i cant find whilst simultaneously coming off as an unintelligible buffoon to say the least...
Say a perpetual wallflower mabye?,,
I joke with myself knowing Even if I had gotten identified for a specific communication disorder
Fuck let's sayyy
aphasia!!..
It wouldn't feel like a legitimate excuse.

Too proud to admit weakness, naturally. And so, here we are, both stuck,,, but i wnated to try and get somthing across here,, because I relate to you with this.

 

[ABadPerson]

I had to linger here for a bit, wrestling with these thoughts
I have theories as to why,
but they remain elusive to me,,
It's easier to worm together cohesive thoughts in writing than aloud you agree?,, my voice scatters them,, every thought.
My mind pumps out concepts faster than I can sort them, leaving me fumbling for what coherence i cant find whilst simultaneously coming off as an unintelligible buffoon to say the least...
Say a perpetual wallflower mabye?,,
I joke with myself knowing Even if I had gotten identified for a specific communication disorder
Fuck let's sayyy
aphasia!!..
It wouldn't feel like a legitimate excuse.

Too proud to admit weakness, naturally. And so, here we are, both stuck,,, but i wnated to try and get somthing across here,, because I relate to you with this.

Yeah, it's much easier in writing for me; your reply practically describes how it is for me, I just can't register what's even going on within it, it makes me feel trapped and alien even in my own headspace.
Haha, ig it'll always be like this until I die but I'm glad to know I'm not alone.