Help My mind drives me nuts..

[_Minsk]

hi!
i think this is related to my mood but my mind is ruining everything! it keeps on digging up some totally unnecessary and painful crap
some examples:

im with my friends
Mind: they dont like you, *some random painful memories from past which are at least 5 years old*, they are better off without you, and so on..
its super annoying and it feels like my mind has become my worst enemy, one which i cant even escape
it basically focuses all the time on some painful and negative stuf, right after waking up its quite bearable but over the time its starts over and over again..

anyone who has some personal experience or knowledge on that one?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Hey. Sorry that you keep having to relive awful experiences, it's tiring and you feel like a prisoner in your head.
Have you tried going to therapy? Or talking to your doctor about maybe trying some medications? There are loads of options out there, have to find one that works for you. We are here for you in the meantime, you're definitely not alone in this

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I have them experiences on a daily basis... Sometimes the thoughts are really bad... And my thoughts often repeat themselves over and over again.... Its extremely frustrating and hard to explain...

Mine are like this... EXAMPLE=> with certain irl people... Mind: haha they will laugh at you.. Look at you, so pityful, you said (this and that) then I have... Don't listen to them you are ok(in the background still) (your so stupid) then it goes back and forth and all over.. I don't know who to listen to.. And in between all that I have, no wonder *******(my brother) did everything he did to me, everyone sees me as he does...it just goes on and on thoughts to the left and the right they are all over the place .. I hope that makes some sense and I'm not just after writing a pile of rubbish and I hope if it makes sense that is that you can see simularities.. Sending you hugs

 

[Freedom Believer]

hi!
i think this is related to my mood but my mind is ruining everything! it keeps on digging up some totally unnecessary and painful crap
some examples:

im with my friends
Mind: they dont like you, *some random painful memories from past which are at least 5 years old*, they are better off without you, and so on..
its super annoying and it feels like my mind has become my worst enemy, one which i cant even escape
it basically focuses all the time on some painful and negative stuf, right after waking up its quite bearable but over the time its starts over and over again..

anyone who has some personal experience or knowledge on that one?

That's what goes on in my head during work. That's why I shut myself in my room so I can cry in the solitude of my room in peace and let those thoughts rush out.

 

[_Minsk]

Hey. Sorry that you keep having to relive awful experiences, it's tiring and you feel like a prisoner in your head.
Have you tried going to therapy? Or talking to your doctor about maybe trying some medications? There are loads of options out there, have to find one that works for you. We are here for you in the meantime, you're definitely not alone in this ♥

Thanks for your reply im grateful for your care BPD
Im sorry but i think i will never try that due to a painful experience in the past
(lss: my mom begged me to ram her a knife into her chest when she went of her SSRI, i was 13yo at that time),

im just looking for an explanation on why these thoughts arise when people are depressed to find a solution for it

I have them experiences on a daily basis... Sometimes the thoughts are really bad... And my thoughts often repeat themselves over and over again.... Its extremely frustrating and hard to explain...

Mine are like this... EXAMPLE=> with certain irl people... Mind: haha they will laugh at you.. Look at you, so pityful, you said (this and that) then I have... Don't listen to them you are ok(in the background still) (your so stupid) then it goes back and forth and all over.. I don't know who to listen to.. And in between all that I have, no wonder *******(my brother) did everything he did to me, everyone sees me as he does...it just goes on and on thoughts to the left and the right they are all over the place .. I hope that makes some sense and I'm not just after writing a pile of rubbish and I hope if it makes sense that is that you can see simularities.. Sending you hugs

Yeah it makes totally sense, im in the same boat its really uncomfortable to deal with that, especially being around others when it happens..

That's what goes on in my head during work. That's why I shut myself in my room so I can cry in the solitude of my room in peace and let those thoughts rush out.

that sounds like a nightmare, hope things will get better for you soon Freedom Believer

 

[Defenestrator]

I experience this when I am particularly anxious, this sort of thought process does seem to be intrinsically linked to anxiety more than anything else.
Are you seeing or talking to anyone about these thoughts? Like a doctor?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

For me, I've always had a deep existential anxiety. I've never been able to maintain the illusion that life is safe and easy and everything will be OK in the end. The sort of stuff 'balanced' people say and feel.

So with me this deep anxiety would be expressed with ocd, autistic like behaviour and paranoia. I dealt with it with booze which has ruined my health.

Maybe you are feeling some of this existential anxiety?

 

[_Minsk]

For me, I've always had a deep existential anxiety. I've never been able to maintain the illusion that life is safe and easy and everything will be OK in the end. The sort of stuff 'balanced' people say and feel.

So with me this deep anxiety would be expressed with ocd, autistic like behaviour and paranoia. I dealt with it with booze which has ruined my health.

Maybe you are feeling some of this existential anxiety?

i can relate to a lot of what you wrote, seems like its all linked together. i also struggle a lot with existential anxiety and my mind just reacts to the feeling i believe now.
thanks for that post underscore!

sounds like you've must experience some bad trauma. at least thats for me the case, which also might explain why we have lost our illusion that life is safe, as you described it. but i might be totally wrong on that, or was it always like this for you?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I was always like that, no trauma. I find it hard to turn away from the bad stuff that others avoid. I've also studied extensively the way nature appears to work but unlike others I find no comfort in the natural order of things as I understand them. Right or wrong it's all about perception and if you gaze too long into the darkness...