Help My lovely and loving partner is suicidal, how can I help?

[przeciwwymiotne]

He's been through some bad stuff, his dad died, his friends left him, he's depressed and hopeless.

He's not actively suicidal, just passively. But I'm so worried and I have recurring dreams about him dying.

I feel bad cuz it seems that my bad mental health has influenced him to the point of a breakdown. He still supports me so much.

How can I help him? What should I do?
I want te better myself for him. I want us both to live and have a wholesome loving life!!
I worry so much because I know it's partly my fault. And I feel hopeless because it feel I'm not strong enough to save him or constantly support him

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Both of you can support each others by showing empathy and understanding what the other one feels anyway they are suicidal. I'm aware this isn't easy but if you can give your partner what he misses and vice versa that would be a good base to build on top it for a life together.

 

[Begotten]

I think you can find more people to help you with that in the Recovery section tbh

 

[lost_ange2211]

You should try to handle your own guilt and help yourself and own well being too. If you feel better or not as bad it can have a positive influence on your partner too.

But now to your partner try to encourage him to do therapy if it's available for you. Maybe even go to therapy together and talk about your worries too.

I don't know if either of you struggles with being active or not. But maybe go on walks together / exercise together, it can help with all kind of emotions and mood. Maybe try Yoga? It helps with balance, feeling you body and concentrating.

Apart from that try to be there for him and listen to him. Maybe you know some things he liked in the past, try to cheer him up with those. And talk to him about what you feel too. Be as open and honest as you can be and encourage him to do the same.

Good luck!

 

[RN13]

be carefull with psychiatric drugs at least. Many on this website are here since they're damaged by these drugs and suicidal from it (PSSD etc)

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

Thank you

 

[Linda]

He's been through some bad stuff, his dad died, his friends left him, he's depressed and hopeless.

He's not actively suicidal, just passively. But I'm so worried and I have recurring dreams about him dying.

I feel bad cuz it seems that my bad mental health has influenced him to the point of a breakdown. He still supports me so much.

How can I help him? What should I do?
I want te better myself for him. I want us both to live and have a wholesome loving life!!
I worry so much because I know it's partly my fault. And I feel hopeless because it feel I'm not strong enough to save him or constantly support him

There is a very good book, "When it is darkest", by someone called Rory O'Connor that gives lots of good advice that will help you. (You should note that the author takes the view that suicide should be prevented in all circumstancs, a view which few people here will share, but apart from that the book is good.) It's also well written and easy to read.

 

[jiaaa_02]

I have been in this situation too and came back from the brink many times. I think what is critical is that both parties are self aware, well informed of options and able to compartmentalise feeling and logic enough to be able to sit down and communicate about solutions with ctb off the table. It really depends on each person but sometimes, no matter what is done, it is unavoidable and deeply personal. I would recommend working on your own mental health and being in a place of stability and security as two people who are both at half-empty capacity will only generate half-empty solutions. Hopefully that makes sense. I think only from a point of reasonable stability can you then properly support your loved one, but I understand that this may take time where time is of the essence. General psychological counselling will recommend taking it slow in life, enjoying small things, going on mental health walks, medication etc. but as someone who has pretty good external circumstances and am able to feel gratitude and joy on a daily basis, it isn't enough to overcome deep-seated suicidal ideation. It's a difficult balance to strike, but I think realistically that people need to have a strong sense of "I want to work this out and exhaust all of my options first" in order to want to be helped. Please work on feeling empowered and secure yourself, so that this bleeds into their lives. Having a pure and deeply loving conversation is what helped my own relationship. Think loving in the sense of Mother Earth.